perfectstorm  
19 Reviews 259 reads posted one year ago
The Night Before Christmas.  
Author unknown
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,  
Everyone felt shitty, even the mouse.    
Mom at the whore house and Dad smoking grass,  
I had just settled down for a nice piece of ass.
When all of a sudden, there rose such a clatter,  
I sprang from my piece to see what was the matter.  
I opened the shudders and threw out the hash,  
Tripped over my boner and fell on my ass.
And out on the lawn but what should appear  
but a rusty ol' sleigh, and 8 fucking reindeer.  
Out of the sleigh jumped a Fat smelly prick  
I knew in an instant it must be St. Nick.
"To the top of the roofs, to the top of the walls,  
on you bastards before I cut off your balls!"  
He came down the chimney like a bat outta hell  
I knew in a moment that the fat fucker fell.  
He filled all the stockings with pretzels and beer,  
And a big rubber dick for my brother the queer.  
Then he rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart,  
That son of a bitch, blew the chimney apart!
He swore and he cursed as he rode out of sight,  
"Piss on you all, I've had one hell of a night!"

END OF MESSAGE

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Great post PS!!! I needed a good laugh 😚
XOXO  
TL

END OF MESSAGE

Hopefully I have her permission to post it. If not she can have her "still not an attorney" mrfisher, contact my attorneys, Dewey, Cheetum, and Howe, to work out some type of settlement.

Anyway, a great blast from the past. Some of these folks are still around. Some have left us.

 
  " Night Before Christmas" by Rasha  
   
T'was the night before Christmas, and I'm alone here in bed;  
 No clients are calling, the phone is quite dead.
 The stockings are hung by the chimney with care;  
 I just took a peek -no envelopes there.
 It seems all the guys, since they had their druthers;  
 Choose Christmas at home with their significant others.
 So if I cannot give pleasure to some horney chap;  
 I'll just settle in for a long winter's nap.
 Then out on the street there arose such a clatter;  
 I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
 Away to the window I flew like a flash;  
 Could someone be seeking some fine Christmas ass?
 When what to my wondering eyes should appear;  
 My dear fellow posters bringing joy and good cheer.
 There's Curly and Nicky and Perfect and Crazy;  
 London and Clarence oh the names get quite hazy.
 We have Cullen and Back-in, MacDaddy and Cubbie;  
 The list can go on, it's really most cluby.
 Even Saturn and Hotplants just happened by;  
 (They mistook when they heard I'd be serving up pie)
 And let's not forget the head of this troop;  
 Our own CPA - direct from the Loop.
 So while the spirit still glows, this toast I propose;  
 Merry Christmas to all, now lets take off our clothes!

Christmas Greetings from Dewey, Cheetham, and Howe:

You guys made my day with these two versions of the Christmas Story!  Have to admire whoever has the ability to do such rewrites.

Thanks for sharing on Christmas Day.

Only Hawaii attorneys would be wearing Aloha shirts in the snow in New York. They have offices in Honolulu, Chicago, and NYC.  


-- Modified on 12/25/2017 12:50:17 PM

I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!

I'd have to flip a coin to decide which poem I like the best, yours or Rrasha's!  And I'm not going to flip a coin and choose!  

Steph XO