30 lines to make you smile!!!!!

> 1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences..... He thought he was God and I didn't.
> 2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
> 3.. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
> 4.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
> 5.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
> 6.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
> 7.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
> 8.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
> 9.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
> 10.. I'm not a complete idiot --Some parts are missing.
> 11.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
> 12.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
> 13.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
> 14.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
> 15.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
> 16.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
> 17.. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
> 18.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

> 19.. Procrastinate Now!
> 20.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
> 21.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
> 22.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
> 23.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
> 24.. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
> 25.. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
> 26.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three
thousand times the memory.
> 27.. Ham and eggs: A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
> 28.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
> 29.. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.
> 30.. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

12)  Ny-Quil:  the runny, drippy, snotty, no-other-booze-in-the-house so I can rest medicine.

29)  A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.

Good list.

KCSHYGUY

When I saw that headline all I could think of was Chevy in Modern Problems after he snorts about a kilo of white powder (some voodoo stuff if I recall) and leaps up and says I Liiike It!