if I can't get you off, I'm not gonna lose sleep over it.  Fortunately, I have (at least I think I have) been able to get most of my dates at least one O.  I enjoy making sure you get your pleasure as well as mine, besides, I enjoy trying.....What guy doesn't?????

Swim

Not trying to be selfish but my goal is for me to get off.  If the lady does, than it's a plus.

I tend not to stress out about things i cant control. Now keep in mind i suck in bed, so i try to get them off with my personality.

Do you gents REALLY care if we get off.... I mean REALLY????

I know that I definitely CAN get off, but in cases where I know I am not going to, I am not a faker, I just say "okay now my turn to play with you" and I go on to please THEM!

But I have heard some men really and truly dont care if you get off, sure they want you to have fun or seem like you are, or seem to want them.. but be honest... DO YOU REALLY care? or do you just want a show or just want the pleasure to be about you?

I know in the FBSM world, the clients that see me for FBSM are coming to be taken care of, pampered and have the attention focused on them, so maybe I dont meet the giving clients much... but I am curious if you were to be straight up real how you would answer this?

Yes, but I don't operate under any  illusions.  For me, it's enough if you seem to be enjoying what we're doing.  I know it's a fantasy.  I just appreciate it if you make the fantasy believable.  If you're not really, really good at faking it I'd rather you didn't try.

I know that most of the gals don't get off (at least not in the hour of an initial visit).  What I really don't care for is the gals who start the "over the top" moaning (and I probably haven't even gotten in yet).  But those that can make it appear that they are truly enjoying themselves makes my time that much more enjoyable.

Now for the ladies that I have seen multiple times and they have shown me what they really like...well that just makes the time very, very enjoyable.  And probably why I go back to see them.

If it was just about me no, but it is a challenge to involve the provider. Nothing worse than just trying to get it over thats what i have at home and that already costs enough.

-- Modified on 5/18/2011 6:50:07 PM

I really believe that there are multiple camps here.

Its inevitable  and undeniable that each person has his or her preconceived stereotype of a provider. Including the provider herself.  We are raised to to form opinions and make judgement, even though we are taught not to.

Some people think a provider is a hard as nails, all business, a no compassion bitch. Others may believe she is the victim of a cruel society and too cold to have feelings but smart enough to make her own business run. Yet others can rationalize the concept that she is highly sexed, intelligent and perhaps adrenalin filled for a new adventure around every corner. I think there are many other combinations as well. Think of every Urban Myth you have ever heard about a provider and you will find somebody that believes in it.

Perhaps this whole matter of real vs fake is linked to her personal perception of how she feels about her job. If she has some enjoyment for her job, and her client meets the requisite skill level then I think thats a big jump forward. If they can connect on a mental level as well, then the sky can be the limit.

I like what I do. I am pretty honest about liking what I do, I don't think it needs to be a secret. I know that by and far almost all of my clients WANT me to enjoy myself. I say that because its obvious they actually try. And to a great degree, they achieve it. I don't know if every guy WANTS or CARES that I get off, but I for one appreciate the guys that do care.

Thanks Guys

If it was all about me, I could stay home, take care of business with some porn, some lube, and my right hand, and save my money.  For me, it's ALL about the shared intimacy with a provider.  The sounds and sights of her pleasure are as much what it's about for me as my own pleasure.  Of course, I know some, perhaps most, if not all, are faking it, but if they're good at creating the illusion, I'm happy to pay for it.  But as was said in this thread, please don't fake it if you can't fake it well.  That said, I've had plenty of providers either get off, or say they've gotten off with a VERY convincing performance, which leaves me happy, satisfied, and ready to come back for more.

Ms. Reagan Moore, the more I read of your posts, see of your ads, and read of your reviews, the MOORE I want to spend some quality time with you...

Going to be in Vegas during the Memorial Day week...just may have to see what we can do...

Would I like the lady to have an O?  Yes.
Do I expect it?  No.
Do I believe it when she seems to have one?  Sometimes, but generally not.
Is it important to me that she have a good time/pleasant experience?  Yes
But, what's really important to me (and I know this is my need and not hers) is that I know I tried to give her a good time/pleasant experience to the extent that I can (and if her idea of a good time is mostly that I have one, that counts.  I used to worry more about actively doing stuff.  Now, I'm getting more comfortable with being what another poster a couple of days ago called "lazy").
What I demand of myself is timeliness, hygiene, respect for the lady, politeness and the appropriate donation. There's no excuse for acting otherwise.

for some of us, unless we can believe she's into it, well, it's just no fun at all.  I have made my ATF totally convulse and squirt more times than I can count (and I am far from the only one, so I'm not flattering myself).  Unless she's able to "fake squirt" (and is that even possible?) I'm pretty sure she's having a good time.  I find it hard to imagine having fun with a gal who can't at least make me believe she's enjoying what we're doing.  Otherwise, I'll just beat off or do the Phillip Roth, "Portnoy's Complaint" thing and fuck a piece of liver.  I believe a pound of liver costs about five bucks.  Now that's a cheap fuck!

Uhhh.  How has that been working out for you?  LOL!

that i may be too old
not the "right size"... but you "can work with it"

but truth be told.... if you get very very happy.... it's the icing on the cake and makes me happier too.

it's that simple.

Thats right.

If I'm going to a GFE I do care.  Remember GFE is just that.  WHen I'm with my girl friend I care and I want to please her.  Does that make sense.  If I'm going to see  PSE, then I don't care.  However, if she is not attracted to me and can't get off I would not want her to fake it.

Heck, a third of all women are anorgasmic to start with, and most of the rest desensitize themselves by using 200 horsepower vibrators that sound like the paint shakers at the hardware store. It's an uphill battle, so I never took it personally if a lady didn't experience orgasm with me. However, if I have to fake orgasm, I want my money back.

in whatever form that takes.  If she gets off, I like it.   Sometimes I enjoy being "all about me".

Like most of the posters I want the lady to have a good time. I get off on her getting off. But, I am not going to be upset or unhappy if she doesn't. Sometimes it happens sometimes it doesn't. That is the way of things. The over the top fake is a complete turn off. I don't mind if the lady does as a previous poster said and seeing that an orgasm isn't happening for her she then says now it's her turn to show me a good time.
Do I want her to have an orgasm, Yes. Will it ruin everything if she doesn't, No.

There is no sweeter sound on this earth than the sound of a woman in the genuine throes of orgasmic pleasure.

Best case scenario? Give me the choice of a multi-orgasmic or poly-orgasmic woman who loves G-spot stimulation any day! Hot! Hot! Hot!
Please pause occasionally in between orgasms to let me catch my breath.
A woman having a whole body orgasm with "aftershock" tremors? Hell Yeah!!
Do women's capacity for this vary greatly? Does the type and area of stimulation needed vary widely depending on the woman and the situation? Certainly, but I'm more than happy to enjoy whatever level of pleasure she is willing to receive.

If enjoying women's orgasms can be considered a fetish, sign me up on the list of fetishists.
If it makes me a "mangina", sign me up! Send me the free pink tee shirt and I'll wear it proudly, put me on the newsletter subscription list while you're at it!

Giving pleasure does not necessarily mean reducing my own pleasure, it can instead increase it greatly.
Even the most skilled woman takes her enthusiasm up a further notch when she's in the throes of pleasure.
Giving pleasure can also be enjoyable in and of itself.
Do I want her to fake it? No thank you! Total turn off. Would make me feel as if she's receiving no pleasure at all. Would much prefer the honesty that it's not going to happen, and then let it be my turn.

There is also a certain delight to receiving the pampering of a FBSM type of situation and being able to just relax and enjoy pleasure. My first instinct after that is to "return the favor" even though I already "got mine". I enjoy having the session end with a smile on both of our faces. I also enjoy seeing a smile when I return.

I totally agree with you.  It made me remember that when my first wife would come, her chest area between her boobs and shoulders would turn bright red.  I used to love to make her glow.

Yes, for my part...mutual satisfaction is part of the turn on. So many variables go into these meetings that I like the excitement that comes with seeing if two relative strangers can click together quickly. But don't fake it as nobody seems to be losing sleep over this either. And I agree that Ms. Reagan seems my kinda smart too Vegas is close to LA!

... when the very topic of pleasure, simple pleasure, is broached?

listen.  orgasm is a wonderful thing.  however, i can bring myself to earth-shaking climax in 2 minutes flat if i want to (although i prefer a lengthy self-tease & denial routine prior to climax).  pfft.  whatever.  no big deal.  primal release of tension.

there are numberless ways to bring pleasure to a gal -- ways that will be much more exotic and memorable to her than bringing her to orgasm.  i've been brought to states of near paralysis and wept from pleasure overload -- without orgasming in the conventional sense -- just from artfully applied, whisper-soft sensual touch.  i love to have my hair played with, love to have any part of my body massaged, love to be just barely touched all over my body; those things bring me immense pleasure, cause me to involuntarily purr like a little kitten, and are NOT things i am able to enjoy on a frequent basis.

caring about whether or not your lady enjoys herself does NOT mean you have to feel compelled to give her gazillions of orgasms.  frankly, i can always tell the difference between a man who is trying to bring me to orgasm to satisfy his own needs and desires, and a man who is trying to bring me to orgasm simply because he is truly reverent of the female form and he does it for the very joy of the thing.  the latter is rarer than you might think.  i'd much rather have a 5-minute shoulder rub than a man who is trying to bring me to climax just because he thinks he should.

orgasm is a great thing, but it's far from the only thing.  i wish that more people appreciated the many, many ways a date can be made pleasurable for both parties involved.

sorry for the tangent.

I received some great advice from a wonderful, wise and very hot provider who has since retired (though I hope she'll be back).  When I told her I had trouble coming on occasion, she said, "It's the journey that's the most important, not arriving."  She is my Zen provider!
PS: only provider I've ever seen with genuine six pack abs.
PPS:  and yes, I'd rather arrive, but hey...

Thats what I was talking about in my thread, although it wasn't all that clear. I want the lady to enjoy herself when seeing me, not necessarily orgasm. Although most ladies enjoy a good orgasm, I get this is not always possible. I still want her to get pleasure from our time together.

I often find myself giving the lady a massage or softly, sensually running my finger tips over the ladies body. These activities don't lead her to a orgasm but most ladies enjoy these activities a lot. Although they can prime the pump and make it easier for her to get to her orgasm.

Butterflydust your post was a well stated post. It was much more clear then mine was above. Don't apologize for your "tangent" as I enjoyed reading it. Thanks.