I'll even start first:Things I think of when:1) opening a condom package...why is it that Magnums are the only ones that are so hard to open (npi)?  were the Magnum wrappers designed by someone jealous (of those with big weinies)or someone who wanted us to rethink having sex at that moment?  I actually almost acquire a headache trying to open the things!2)Riding cowgirl style. I usually wear stilettos during "the act", and when riding cowgirl, MUST laugh because I can't help but remember the saying "don't squat with yer spurs on" !Now I know you ladies and germs are funny as hell....what did YOU think about recently that popped yer cork and made you feel good enuff to laugh out loud (doesnt have to be about sex.....)xoxoff

OK-  FF-  Step away from the shoes!...   That's good.... now put them by the side of the bed....   I always laugh at the shoes/lingerie getups   - nekkid is the way to go!

of dining recently at one of my favorite places...yes "The Y"...the recipient would not stop talking, at which point I justlooked up at her and said, "shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"We both got a good laugh out of that, then I resumed my "task"LMor-when a provider shot a condom across the room while attemptingto roll in on wrong-side-out.(you know who you are!)LMFelicia:I hope this is what you were looking for...--modified by lustman at Wed, May 09, 2001, 17:40:06

FF riding The Barbarian's back, crop in one hand, digging in the spurs and pulling back on my hair with the other and BFG-smiling like the Demon Sister she clearly is!!!!! LOL~~~~ But Remember Dear One.... I will look to ride you again some day.....

You have strayed... No lingerie? Come on dude, you gotta start somewhere.

No, actually your butterfly panties in context of the comment I had made to badrob about him becoming a part of my butterfly collection whilst looking him dead in the eye in a rather compromising positon that enabled me to "pin him down".Just little ole' butterfly collector,Nicole

Was with a provider and in the throngs of passion with her playing lollipop.she stops and says..."you can do it." in her best bedroom voice.The only thing I could picture was Rob Scheider in "The Waterboy" going..."YOU CAN DO IT!"

But after admitting to my date that I thoroughly enjoyed the performance of  "Mamma Mia" we'd just seen (the musical set entirely to the music of ABBA), she accused me of being a "fag hag" trapped in a man's body. We both got a good laugh out of that.Oh, and FF, it's been a while since we last saw eachother, but you can be my "dancing queen" anytime... (does "Well, I saw you walk awayand it was very sexy watching you dash, your boots underneath your verystylish coat, buttons opened, flapping with the hastening movement ofyour body." ring a bell?)- ss

Proof that women don't understand the way a guy's visual brain works during sex- I once had a girlfried stop right in the middle of giving oral and say "Oh, no I better go take off my lipstick becasue I'm getting it all over you!"  After I said "Are you kidding me?" I told her to go in the bathroom and put on more lipstick just to make the point.  It was never a  problem after that.FF, since you brought up Magnums, a number of years ago when I went from dedicated GF to needing to wear condoms again so I bought some of the aforementioned brand.  I was to be disappointed to find they provided the level of sensitivity of a HAZMAT suit.  Having heard that the Japanese condoms were thinner, I bought a pack of Beyond 7's thinking they would be a comparable product but with famous Japanese thin latex.  Well the joke was on me because I think they were talking about 7 in the metric system.  These things were tiny (with all do respect to those from the land of the rising sun).  I was so pissed after having tried and failed to use them I wrote a letter to the manufacturer asking for a refund due to deceptive advertising practice.  They never replied.  I did finally find a little known brand that is better than the Mag's, it's called InSpiral, and their package isn't hard to open!   I'm not bragging here, it's all I was given to make up for losing my hair in my early 30's.  Kind of like the last scene in the classic movie "The Devil in Miss Jones," you're given the way but not the means to get what you want.  Now that's the real joke!--modified by G2 at Thu, May 10, 2001, 10:19:33

I have live cam on my site, try to do sex shows daily.  So, don't know if any of you have ever had to be on the "spot" before.  Ya know, cam's on, get it up, let 'er rip!  Well, my viewers knew when the show was gonna be on.  And I picked by great masseur to be the "lucky guy!"It's time, he's feeling nervous, and I start s***in' him in front of the little noisome cam.  Well, nerves: of course he can't get it up, and in the background is the silly music I had selected: "Leader of the Pack."  And the line that cracked me up was, "my friends are always putting him down..."  To which the other Shangri-Las are pipping: "down, down..."  Well, I was trying to get it: "up, up!"  It was so funny (in my mind...)!(BTW, the show ended up a total success.  He played with me, finger and mouth and got me to ejaculate, right there on cam!  I was having a good ole time!!)  xox Faye Desiree

People, thanks for sharing the fun!  Good going Faye, I just love how you seem to transform anything into fun! I dont have webcam working (last year was a b**ch with tech problems from hell, and little help, but this year is restructure  Still,  I have a brand new big mirror next to Matress Island - it's like watching yourself on film)..question for you though, doesnt the time lapse on webcam allow for a bit of forgiveness along the way?  Straightman, I knew something was missing...thanks for reminding me about my crop.  Giddyap! Anyway, nothing like healthy pink cheeks, as Mom used to say...Blue Moon...about the Spurs...let's talk...that can easily be arranged .  Just ask!Sully, i was thinking about you while I was in the gym lifting today....wondered if fluffy pink bobbysocks and cute tennieswork for you...granted the little girl is always there in the woman.G2..What a scream!!!  Thanks for the name of the condoms ... Where can I purchase them?  I still have 3 boxes of the others (I need to hurry up and get rid of them!)  Oatman!!  Envision a battlefield of flying condoms being attacked by g-strings  shot as slingshots off the heels of 5" stilettos! I'm still working on my aim.  Practice practice practice!!Neverwuz, well I didnt see the movie, but I know that you dont  need someone to tell you "you can do it!"  Are you sure she wasnt an aerobics teacher? lol!   Perhaps you'd be better suited with a naughty nurse (ff) who will say, how are WE today?  ;-@Thanks for playing with me here, guys!ff--modified by feliciafoxx at Thu, May 10, 2001, 02:38:56

Faye,I could not read your post and not LOLTTPOBFM = Laugh Out Loud To The Point Of Being Forcibly Medicated.Just another day in the life of Faye Desiree I assume.From an admiring fan, --JP--modified by JP at Thu, May 10, 2001, 08:03:03

Fairest Felicia,As to your question --what did YOU think about recently that popped yer cork and made you feel good enuff to laugh out loud (doesnt have to be about sex.....)--Does this count?---The thought of you opening a Magnum Condom for me ---  Hey, a guy can dream can't he!  Oh well.  It did make me smile out loud for sure. Does that count.  Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm...And while I am dreaming, your stilletos in bed bring them on.  I am willing to bet that you in a suit of armor in bed is well worth the ride!  See FF, it seems that with you, somethings will just always cum through! --JP--modified by JP at Thu, May 10, 2001, 08:04:40

Condoms! I have a hard time even getting up the nerve to walk into the stores and buy them. I should switch over to buying online. Silly me, I just think that when I am going through a checkout line with a box of 36 condoms that everyone is thinking a lot of things. Like: "damn is she planning an orgy?" "Why am I not invited?" Damn, a hot looking loose blonde, or that bitch, she is gonna get some and I am not. Like to claw her eyes out, etc. I try to hide them under everything for as long as I can. Just bury them under the lubricants, candles, no...just jokin'. Anyway, maybe if it enriches someones fantasy life and makes the day more lively its worth it!Nicole

Dear Felicia and Readers,In spite of the difficulty in opening the packaging, it is a win/win situation to use Magnums. 1. If it fits him even remotely, his big and small head will swell nicely.  2. If he is swimming in it, well, you can always tell him it's actually the new magnum female condom.Have fun, stay safe, and leave the lights ON!!Iceman

Felicia, You can buy InSpiral condoms at www.condomania.com, maybe elsewhere too but I don't know for certain.  They have a looser fit with a large bulbous shaped head design which allows for relative motion with the penis against the inside of the condom.    It's the lack of relative rubbing motion that makes slimmer condoms so numb feeling.  I can only feel pressure and basically nothing else when I wear a conventional type, hardly worth opening the champagne bottle, if you know what I mean!  Anyway, to clarify my previous post, it's the looser fit I was after, didn't mean to imply I have a Peter North telephone pole.  Also the offending brand of smallish foreign condoms were Beyond 7 (even more misleading) not Super 7.  It was late, we were talking about sex, the mind plays tricks....Warmest Regards,G2--modified by G2 at Thu, May 10, 2001, 14:04:00

...after seeing an evening performance of "Mamma Mia" recently (the musical that is set to the music of ABBA) I admitted to my date that I thought it was incredible. To which she responded, "You're just a Fag Hag trapped in a man's body!"We both laughed..... maybe you had to be there...- ss(By the way FF, it's been a while, but you can be my "Dancing Queen" anytime...)

I love adoring fans!!  Fan me babe!  xoxo Faye Desiree

Even if it's streaming (which mine is).  No one seems to notice I have Parkison's (OK, don't show this post to Michael J. Fox!).FF, where do you reside now?  It's been a week since I've gotten to my e-mails.  Gawd... at least I get to my males!And if I come out to LA in July (keep scootin' it back boys... gonna off to Maui AGAIN for another Tantra training in June.  Sigh... Don't cha all just wish you were going too?  Why didn't they teach this stuff in school?  Woulda cured attention deficit syndrome big time)!   XOX  Faye Desiree

You may have missed one thought and that is "Damn, look at the beautiful woman with condoms.  God I sure wish I was that lucky SOB whoever she is seeing."I don't know about everyone else but the image of you with the “Sam’s Pack” (or is it “Costco Pack” out there?) of condoms would sure sparkle my day for a little while. So you see, you standing in line with condoms is a humanitarian gesture. --JP

I got tired of looking at the cute checkout girl thinking, "Boy I'd really like to have sex with her" knowing full well that she was thinking "Geez, I didn't know guys my Dad's age still had sex."  "That will be $12.95 and your dignity please."

I don't know G2 I think Lustman may have a run for his money for the title "King of Comedy or Chief Morale Officer".Very well done! --JP

Cia,You know exactly what I'm talking about!I went ahead and wrote on our little adventure, but it was taken down.  Extreme sadness for me.  If you want to full story it's on TBD/LA "Of Butterflys and Ladies"Be well my dear and roll the ball for Jpeg for me.Be good, Dive / Fly / Hobby Safe-BadRob

well, nekkid just limits the number of places to start

Hmmm. shortstuff , I don't know yer ter handle, so it's difficult to respond, but I'm just like a circus bear ... compelled to dance with very little stimulus  do e ~ me so I can get a handle on you, lol. meaning so we can  catch up!cheers, ff--modified by feliciafoxx at Sat, May 12, 2001, 16:42:17

eom--modified by G2 at Sun, May 13, 2001, 00:39:36