Newbie to TER seeking advice:
I have an ATF provider I've been seeing every 2 weeks for a few months. Really enjoy and look forward to our time together.
Her fees are 600/hour, 1200/2 hrs, but I've paid her $750/session and we often exceed 1.5-2 hrs each time.
I'd like to propose an arrangement where I can see her 3x/month at a lower rate for each date.
I'm thinking of 700/per session, also to include an overnight and a 4 hour each year + occasional trips.
Does this seem reasonable or should I aim lower?
My proposal comes to 25.2K/year which stretches my budget.
Any counsel is appreciated.
Thanks

It seems like a reasonable ask to me. But I've seen a lot of providers put on their websites to not ask for any kind of discounts or have stated 'my rates are non-negotiable' so I don't know if this request would be considered appropriate or not. I have heard it's frowned on but as a business proposition I think it seems fair to at least introduce it. I'd do it at the end of the session though, if you plan to bring it up in person, to prevent a meltdown from blowing the session at hand. You know how touchy they can be. One wrong move and it's off to munchkin land with you.  

If you are getting 1.5-2 hours for $750, I would not propose $50 less per session! It might make her start watching the clock more and result in less bonus time than you are already getting! I would be thankful that she is already being generous with her time! The extra $50 per session means one extra session every 15 sessions for you, and it makes up for 1-2 hours of all the extra time you are banking regularly now! Ride that horse until it gets tired! Assuming a 4 hour session, she would probably get $1.5-2k for that. When you are ready to book that, wait until a particularly satisfying session for her and propose a discounted session. Same with the overnight. I doubt she will go for a long-term arrangement where she “owes” you a 4 hour or overnight session.  Why go with the long-term ask? She might leave the business, you may get tired of her, or you might find a second atf to split time with her!

Instead of proposing a rate per session, maybe propose that you pay her 2100 per month and that would include up to x, y and z. And it for whatever reason you aren’t able to see her that much in a particular month, she still gets the cash.  This way you’re not talking about hourly rates and she can count on the money monthly.  

So let me see if I got this...
As it is now, you're doing 1500 a month. (Two visits. 1.5-.20 hours at 750)
And now you want to purpose 700 per session, 3 visits or 2100 a month. 25K a year.
And is it is now she's  projected to get 18k a year and your deal is 25.2k a year for roughly 12 more visits...
Not following the overnight and trips arraignment you have planned but is that included in the 25k number?
It sounds "ok" but without knowing of the girl and how much in demand she is. It'is hard to tell.
But be prepared to pay in advance a full month to seal the deal. Kinda like "The Pussy is Due On the First". So you'll have to come up with the 2100 on the first of the month or in some lump payment because that's my guess on how she might want it.
Word of advise...don't do it. Surprised you're not sick and tired of her yet. To commit to something like this just was never in my playbook. I tried it and  maybe it's me but I wasn't cut out for that kinda arraignment. I got tired of the "But you promised me"..in my best girly voice...BS
But ask her....

-- Modified on 8/16/2023 4:34:53 PM

You have a relationship developing with the provider not us. I have on my website $5k is my starting rate for monthly arrangements. If she entertains monthly arrangements it would be on her website. If it’s not you should discuss as what you propose during your next encounter. We are not her darling.

I don't see the harm in him asking how to go about the situation. Him trying to work out a special arrangement with the lady in question is fraught with many land mines and the more experienced guys here weighing in with there advice could quite possibly allow him to sidestep a few of those landmines.  Just my 2 cents.

The 700 three times per month seems reasonable, but tacking on an overnight,  a 4 hour session,  and travel are over the top.  

I don't find her to be condescending at all.

the kind of money that is going to get you special rates or treatment.  A few years ago, I spent $29,000 on the same provider over a 10-week period, and the only kind of concession I got was 2 OTC dates where we went to the horse races at Santa Anita on Sunday afternoons and then a freebie afterward at my place.  

She is reciprocating your generosity with generosity of her own - extra time.  Now you want to lock in her generosity, in effect "forcing" her to give you a discount.  Your budget limitations shouldn't make her reduce her income.

Not to white knight or anything, but she's been on TER since 2006, that's 17 years for the math challenged.  I think she's seen it all.

I appreciate the words of wisdom helping me navigate.
The ideal goal is to have both parties feel valued and respected, which I will try to do.

As CDL suggested, it sounds like what you're proposing is a SD/SB situation.

Negotiating a monthly deal with an escort who already has well-established hourly, etc., rates is NOT the same as negotiating a Sugar Baby rate. The latter girls mostly haven't worked as prostitutes with an hourly rate and some have even convinced themselves they're not prostitutes. They have no clue how to price themselves, whereas a working, independent escort generally has a VERY clear idea how to price herself. Now, she may be wrong, but that hardly matters. Anyway, by all means take a shot on the Erotic Highway board but I doubt you'll get anything useful there.

established a solid rapport based upon the frequency of your visits and the financial commitment you have already made to her.  But ask yourself, how would you feel if she said "no?"  Would be a mood killer for me and I would probably not want to see her again.  Are you willing to risk it?

This mentality I agree with in the case of OP and many other similar situations.

But I think she'd be a fool not to accept. You sound like a good guy who comes with a 25K bonus... what's not to like?
 
Seriously, other girls would be better judges, but a steady income stream has value in and of itself no matter what the business. Sometimes, a lot!! That's why there's a discount for volume, LMAO. Throw in that you think you like each other, and this could turn out to be a moment of truth. If she counters with something you can't haul, you guys should be able to leave *the price* as is, I hope.  
 
It's so much easier for me when that shit is out in the open and I don't have to wonder if what I'm paying her, including a frustratingly varying tip, has her pleased, or saying to herself what a cheap bastard I am. LOL. That was my reason for negotiating with my ATF.
 
I acknowledge that the amount of history I have with her is a lot more than your situation, and she's in a way different segment of the biz, but I negotiated with her for the first time ever at the start of this year... after 4+ years of seeing her, on and off. Also, while I've seen her a lot more, I've never seen her as frequently as you do yours.  
 
I've always liked giving her my money (if you know what I mean). So when I asked her about it and promptly got my ego bruised by the number she threw out, I was left wanting for words. However, I knew it was a good faith "don't expect to get what you don't ask for" type ask, even if there was no humor in voice. Then when I countered, she barely got out a grinning 'OK' when she jumped on me, pinning me to the bed, and started kissing my face all over. She was excited that I even wanted an arrangement. It was less than I sometimes had given her, but a little more than I usually gave her. It was a moment of truth.  
 
I just got back from her place less than five hours ago😁😁😘. I must have had a wild hair across my ass because earlier in the day I was thinking of showing her pics and videos of the agency girls I see, who are a lot younger and prettier, to compare the price I pay them versus her. In my head, this was to prevent her getting any ideas. Thank god I know how to count to ten before proceeding with most my ideas about relationships. LOL. Don't forget to count to ten when needed and I trust you'll be fine!

us ladies can sometimes be touchy. You never know, she might already be super busy and not need an arrangement. Or she could really like the idea.

Yes go for it and propose the idea to her, I personally love doing arrangements.. it gives us the opportunity to really get to know each other and create beautiful chemistry.

Report back! I'm wondering this myself, if I could muster up the courage.

Ok man, what happened with your moment of truth? 🤔🙂

Seeing the kind of money some of the guys on here fork out, it’s out of my league, I have a budget of 10,000 a year, but I don’t hobby a lot because of my age, also I love investing in stocks (which is my main hobby)and just can’t see myself going over my budget, I can buy a lot of stocks for the kind of money some of your guys fork over.

tell her you have been thinking about seeing her more often and are thinking about an arrangement.  Ask her for her thoughts.  Perhaps you can tell her yours and ask her to think about it.  She might counter it

I assume you mean by your age, being an older gent.  The time when a stock will be of value to you personally grows shorter.  I know timing is a guess, but eventually we run out of time to earn money that will be available to spend in our remaining years.  

I’ve done this dance. They change when you offer less lol. Your hopefully getting the almost perfect version of themselves. Even if you paying their normal rate over time and you see them frequently. They start acting like a girlfriend rather than a professional. Then when they get even more comfortable they start slipping into nagging girlfriend mode. Your paying a premium for a fake product. Enjoy it. Find a girlfriend somewhere else.

talk to the person in question, every one has different views, life, situation.  
You are asking to random people here, that may not have the same lifestyle. Talk to her, hopefully you 2 get to an agreement.

I figured at 62 i have 13 years to keep investing, I’m not worried about spending and enjoying my money in my remaining years, I’m am big on leaving wealth to the people who means so much to me( my family)

As a follow up, after a session with my ATF provider a few months ago,, I told her how much I value our time together and enjoy being with her.
I offered seeing her three times a month for 700 instead of the 750 I was paying twice a month.

You spent $29000 over a ten week period ? Maybe  I need to stop  working and get some girls and become a Pimp. I buy a car out of  you in ten weeks or less.

like it's happy hour where you are.   LOL

Firing blanks ,never dated anyone and no review. Maybe we should  call him pistolspypete.

I share your concern about not wanting to appear cheap or "stingy."  

Its like learning a new language without having to go to school.  Then you can brag about being multilingual.  Lol

I think you should step-up to the plate!  

You are woefully wrong!

I've seen this both ways for extended dates, like overnights or weekends. Occasionally, you see a published hourly rate of, say, $500/hr, and then an overnight rate of 2-3k, downright reasonable. Then, in parallel to that, you also see overnight rates that are either linear with their hourly rate, or higher.  

What the hell is worth $75K/month ? You should ask her. Maybe days on a luxury yacht, or in a private jet  high in the sky with champagne and caviar,among other goodies, and not to mention  great sex 24/7.

Thanks for an elegant analysis!

I've also seen rates like 750/hr, 650/90min, clearly trying to incentivize longer dates. Which, I get that to be honest, and ultimately it's the same strategy as "90min required for first time friends", aka, trying to form a connection of some sort with their customers. Connection -> Repeat Customers ->Increased income & lower risk. Pretty solid model.

Popular ones with good work ethic/drive put up way more than that. They work seven days a week so that's just over six customers a day.

Well, if it is any consolation when guys fork over money to me I also invest heavily in the stock market so you can always be assured that my dirty hooker money is going to a good cause, my retirement!!

So we are investing in “ Broad.com” and some are making regular periodic investments.😂
Actually glad to hear you will not end up broke at the end of your providing career like so many others!

I never brag about being multi-lingual ; you said englsh is possibly my second language.  
Listen man , no body have a monopoly on the english language , so I might (mite), be writing  as a free man ,liberated of any lingual status quo, and don't have to accept what society  puts before  me.

K - girls are like slaves thought.  I would feel guilty  going  to one of these  agency (sweat shop).

Good long term planning,  because sex work doesn't  necessarily comes  with a 401K ,Pension etc,

You give yourself a German name ,but cant speak the language. Maybe  cheap ass  BasicmemberPistolPetey  can teach  you .

You're making this too easy.  I don't have to call you a moron, you have just announced it yourself with your post.  Lol

I don't think Germany was a country when Richard was galivanting around? Although I will be the first to admit I am far from an expert on medieval European geography.  
Maybe you could teach him instead of just belittling him? We all have our shortcomings. I thought we all agreed we were going to work on making this board a nice inclusive learning place for everyone in the industry. Being mean and name calling takes no effort. Let's all do better.  

We agree on that, but even in public schools, the short bus people are usually separated from the main group so the teachers don't have to dumb down their material to the lowest common denominator.  

They're really not, they're just playing a different game. They pay very good money back home to learn how to pull it off, then they come here, work for a few years while spending as little as possible, then they go back home and retire like queens.

a slave thought?
Like what they think about, like trying to escape?

Its a typo...slaves * though

but wanted to yank his chain a bit because the suggestion made was very uninformed. He is either confused about K-girls specifically, perhaps classing them with all other Asian providers in any rundown massage parlar or cheap dive appartment or just has very limited experience.

about that, DUH!

You might as well get married or get a girlfriend. Why are you wasting all that money on one woman?

why are you letting the guy use YOUR money on this woman?