I just met a new civ and started seeing her A LOT. I've gone out with her five days in the week since I've met her.
I've already met her friends and her parents and things are racing along. Haven't fucked her yet, but DATY and lots of mashing.
My question is: How the fuck am I supposed to conceal hobbying activities from her? I just read a K-girl review that had me reaching for my phone....but I hesitated.
Will my gf smell it?
What about the soap smell from the provider's shower?
Will there be some trace evidence on my clothes?
Can I permanently delete the records of the phone calls?
I don't want to accidentally fuck things up here! Am I just being paranoid? What the dilly?
If you are worried about smell, take a bar of soap you use at home and leave it in your car. Shower after your meetings so that you don't smell like anything but soap.
You can't delete ALL phone records as that's info the phone company owns. You can clear it out of your phone though. But if she is a new GF then she shouldn't have access to your actual bill and even if she does, how will she know it's NOT a friend's number?? I am assuming you haven't been dating for a long time.
There are programs out there that deletes your web history everytime you log off. I would suggest you get that if GF is a live in GF. Other than that, I wouldn't over think it all.
I Agree. Also, If this is a live in GF, DON'T mix Finances. She will want to know where every penny is going and why.
Thats just my 2 cents.
It might be good for you.
Why would you want to put yourself thru all that you mentioned?s ladies have great sniffers. As long as she isn't doing your laundry, no worries.
Sometimes things do move too fast. Try and slow things down...and take the time to enjoy every minute.
Why complicate the beginnings of a relationship? I say don't hobby now.
Good Luck
Love
Sexy Carolina
If you're already thinking about how to hide it from a NEW girlfriend, she won't be new, or a girlfriend for very long.
Make a choice, either girlfriend or hobby. Carolina gave you the best advice. Choose the girlfriend. The hobby will still be here if and when you return. You can't say the same for the opposite decision.
Read and re-read her post until it sinks in. Take a break from the hobby and slow the civvie romance so you can enjoy it all, including the frustrations.
I never hobby while I am in a relationship. Just emerging from a seven year marriage and I know perfectly well I have missed some wonderful providers in my prolonged absence. Now, to be honest, my marriage was not a sexual lolapalooza but staying off the hobby was still entirely worth it. My wife and I have had a minimum of drama and we are parting friends.
And things have changed in the hobby. But it has not disappeared.
Good luck.
The hobby will always be here, take it slow and see what happens with the gf
The ladies on this board can give you a lot of pleasure, but you've got to keep enough perspective to realize they aren't ever going to give you love or provide a substitute for a real relationship.
Something meaningful freely given is always more important than paid entertainment- even if it's great entertainment. The women on this board know that too, that's why a large percentage of them are in relationships in their private lives.
A lot of guys on this board are far better at the hobby than they are at being in relationships, but that's because the hobby doesn't require much from them. My advice is to spend the same effort to learn how to be in a successful relationship, rather than split your focus between the two. The hobby will still be there for the times you find yourself alone. That's what it's best for.
I'd suggest you pick one or the other. Being cheated on is never fun, especially when you go as far as to pay for it.
COMPARATIVE MAINTANANCE COSTS!
I firmly believe in the saying:
"Be they Girlfriend, Wife or Pro; sex comes only quid pro quo"
Did not expect so many of you to counsel being faithful to my girlfriend....I really just expected some expert advice on hiding the evidence...
Damn! Isn't there anyone here in favor of the hobby??
We def can give you plenty of tips on how to hide the hobby.
But it seems like the majority of us appreciate relationships outside of the hobby.
There have been several Gentlemen I have met that have written to me telling me that they are taking a break from the hobby while in pursuit of a meaningful relationship. And I always wish them well and hope for them that it lasts.
But it's not about the length, but about giving it your all.
It might seem like a double standard. I don't think that my companionship, for the most part, takes away from the MARRIAGE that MOST of my friends are in. So I think it's okay for a married guy to hobby. If you are single and involved in a new relationship, your focus should be on the relationship. Since most of my friends are married, and have been for decades, the hobby in my opinion enhances their relationship. I want them to be married. And happy. I always say, "I'm glad I'm not a guy!"
I hope I explained this properly.
We are for the hobby.
But we also understand relationships and most of us it seems are willing to give up the hobby in pursuit of one.
With what you mentioned...meeting parents, numerous dates in as many days, and the intimate details, it sounds like you are putting yourself out there...so, you have to decide, if you want to hobby. Sure you can hide it. But just think about if she finds out. Women just starting out in a relationship are a different creature compared to the sedate (no harm intended) wife at home. They are very curious. I know. I was one a few times.
We don't just take anyone home to meet the parents.
Best of luck to you
SexyC
Well, I must thank you for your cogent, well-reasoned, and articulate recommendation to give up hobbying.
I am active on a P2P porn community site and I have never seen anyone recommend giving up porn.
I am also active on a video game community site and I have never seen anyone recommend giving up gaming.
But there is a practically unanimous sentiment here to give up hobbying in favor of a monagamous relationship with my new girlfriend.
I could not be more surprised, but I know enough to listen to the unanimous voice of a community where I am a noob.
So, I guess this is goodbye.
Thanks!
Listen to the advice, especially to the divorced men, as I am divorced twice. What does she want in a relationship? If its committment/monogamy you should at least try and give her that. If you can't, rather than hide your desire for other women, you should walk away. I say this as a father, I would never have my daughter date someone like me.
Now I had a BFF until recently but I kept completely platonic, as we travelled together for 2 years. She moved on because even though she a great woman, I could not give her what she wanted, mongany. I learnd this lesson all too late...Its not about me. It not about you
I have already spent enough for 2.5 provider sessions and received about the sexual value of .5 provider sessions, so I hear you.
I'm always quick to counsel young men in the concept/reality that "free" sex is by far the most costly.
25 years, two divorces, two live-ins, and multitudes of short term encounters that ranged from perfunctory to insufferable has left little for me to argue in favor of mainstream dating, courtship, marriage, or monogamy in general.
With a current world population of over 6 billion a little re-tooling of our mating dance would not soon put us in any peril of an accidental or serendipitous genocide.
Safest thing may to quit for a while
OK. You don't want to know about being faithful. If I were in your shoes, starting a relationship... at some point that would become a higher priority. Maybe hobbying keeps it in perspective until it does.
In the meantime, Just like us married guys... You never know when a curious GF will snoop or what they'll snoop into.
Clean your computer regularly. Use a private e-mail with secure password.
Get a hobby phone. Clear memory of your normal phone.
Do not make crdit card purchases places you're not expected to be.
Increase your pocket money so you can hobby without withdrawals linked to dates.
Be discrete. Do not leave tracks.
Having had great sex... in the hobby... you have the unique opportunity to have the real GFE... teach her how to be great at sex... with the emotional link if you choose!
skb
The hobby will still be here if things don't work out...
-- Modified on 5/28/2009 10:42:21 PM
pressing problem. You just met this civie. You saw her 5 days in the first week. You've already met her friends and parents. She sounds just a tad possessive, assuming it was her idea. Slow down.
P.S. What the hell is mashing? Hope it's not even close to the formal definition.
We are moving really fast, I admit. We've got a lot of chemistry and there's no doubt that she's pushing it hard. But I kinda like it, so go figure.
"Mashing" in a sexual sense is derived from the video gaming term "button mashing," which is where you hit all the buttons on the controller as fast as you can out of desperation. What I meant was that we have been just groping each other everywhere, rolling around, grinding, and just kissing and feeling each other everywhere.
Tonight, she did BBBJ. I inquired if CIM was available, but it was not on the menu. She did HJ with DFK and I spilled the first cup on her C-cup tits. She cleaned up in the bathroom and then cleaned me off with a washcloth. And she didn't even charge me!
Can you give me her number?
You wouldn't mind if she saw me on the side, would you? Obviously not, since you are determined to see others while with her.
Hey, with the money she got from me, she could even treat on some of your dates!
She's 30, 5'6", 120 lbs, long soft brown hair, big brown eyes, enhanced C-cups, round little bubble-butt, and a tiny little pussy which is natural/unshaved but still nearly hairless. She does no CIM or anal, but provides GFE. If she were on the market (I am trying to be objective here), she would probably charge $500/hr, maybe more.
ask any guy paying child support
Touche, sir, touche.
You are, of course, correct in pointing out that I don't want her anywhere near another dude's cock.
But, you have to admit that it's nothing short of amazing that this board is so chock-full of monogamy advice!!! Wouldn't you expect it to be completely full of cheating dudes who didn't think twice about cheating???
How can it be "just me"?
I'm dumbfounded.
secure e-mail address, clean computer, adjust cash flow as to always have cash available when the opportunity presents itself, etc. Take a shower after the appointment (neutral or your soap) before going home.