i've not been posting much because the hobby has been so very good lately. recently there has been two little pieces of drama. one involving a threat to me and the other involving a false story in circulation about me.
now usually when i've wanted to "write and purge" of this i've posted under an alias so only the principals might recognize the problem. i've found that running from or ignoring unpleasant things is much more stressful than documenting it and bringing it out into the open in some way.
my puzzle is that if i use an alias, folks who have been misinformed about me might not get "my side" of the story. also simply posting on the local board might not be quite right since the stories involve ladies who are not local: some helped make the threat, some received the false information.
if i ignore it, i fear continued annoyance. if i post, there could be escalation but there will certainly be a stress burden.
part of the issue is that i think that there have been some attempts from a certain camp to lure me into behavior that would get me banned from TER. there are PMs to that effect with some mods that i have saved.
so i want to be very careful that i don't play into that kind of trap.
I would not start getting involved in an on-line pissing contest where something of a personal nature is concerned. It solves nothing and only escalates and prolongs the issue as well as exposing to people that probably know or care nothing about it. Anything of a serious nature should be handled person to person.
That's not an excuse to make a fool of yourself on a public forum. If the people involved are not available for one-on-one communication I would humbly suggest that they not worth worrying about.
I have enough day to day drama in my real life. The hobby...the boards are my means to excape. So I pretty much try to avoid the circumstances you speak of...I try to move on and not get sucked into stuff that will drain my energy. I love the babes...I enjoy playful banter..I value the info. But to me, this community should never evolve to a place that adds to the burdens I already carry. It is my "other" place...if you know what that means.
The hobby is definitely not without the drama, and trying to hide it and act like it's all good serves no one. Like, I don't mean - keep getting angry about shit that's already happened. But please do post on what too look out for and share your story.
I think a lot of guys try to make this hobby sound like some happy place where it's a win-win for everyone, and ignore shit that I know takes place behind the scene. It's true that sometimes it's discouraging to hear about negative stuff, but in the end we truly better off knowing. Like sometimes there are very real issues that providers will try to hide like hiv, crazy mood swings, drug use, etc etc and manipulate the guys not to say anything. If there is any kind of manipulation or backstabbing, blackmail, etc going on - that type of info should be on the board, not in just buried in some review.
It seems that when I had a review pulled to decrease drama, it had the opposite effect. If I knew another way to deal with it I would. I have tried direct communication, communication through 3rd parties, and STFU on occasion.
the best people to involve yourself with in our area are NOT a part of the several local cliques, and could not care less what those therein have to say about you or me or anyone else.
Simply ingoring them and continuing on your way, comporting yourself as a gentleman, and having nothing negative to say about those who try to undermine you carries a lot of weight.
Finding worthwhile candidates for your temporary affections, handling dealings with them in a professional manner, and not involving yourself or your "friends" in drama goes a long long way.
The best way to deal with drama is to stand apart from it, and to (as I was recently advised LOL) - learn to "play quietly in the TER sandbox"
You're going to be fine. Don't let any malicious communication about you get under your skin or cause you to act in ways that you would not otherwise. You will stand or fall on your own merits.
This is far from the first time that Tex has found himself in the middle of a dramafest.
Some people, despite their prostestations to the contrary, constantly find themselves in the middle of "unwanted" drama. I don't believe that someone constantly in drama filled situations isn't at least unwittingly bringing on themselves.
Using myself as an example, I am one of the biggest assholes on the board, I see dozens if not hundreds of providers in the course of a normal year, yet except for the fun breed of drama that occurs on the board on any given day, I almost never find myself in the types of situations that Tex constantly finds himself in.
I think that first off, Tex takes himself and everything else waaaay too seriously, and he has admitted on several occasions that he has to constantly "battle his demons" (my words, not his).
When you add all this together, maybe the hobby is not the healthiest thing for Tex to be engaging in? I know, opinions are like assholes, just saying..........
rather listen to gossip about me - or take things I say or write out of text - rather than meet and possibly get to know me....well it is their loss not mine. It just is not worth fighting through some of this stuff when there is simply another provider willing to meet you. Good luck Tex.
My provider drama is confined to one clique only. Having changed my contact info I might be immune to direct annoyance from now on. I probably should have done that long ago.
So having dealt with nearly thirty ladies in a drama free way you are suggesting I should retire because of three in one clique?
On the whole even with the DQs the hobby has been very healthy for me. In 2008 BP was down by 10. With current drama free friends it's down by 15.
Retirement from the hobby can be considered, but only in the context of professional retirement OR such an increase in medication that I would have to give up on the possibility of sex entirely.
As for board drama. It is relaxing. I do love a good argument. Real life, not so much.
the garbage you're referring to is from the 'cats' within the area like GTM has suggested. That BS has created,in me,a lack of desire to see locals. I wait for visitors. They are much more appreciative. IMO
But I do agree, what would be the point of a provider fucking with me, what could a provider possibly use as leverage? It's tough to blackmail someone who truly doesn't give a fuck. lol
The open thing never works out, and is only satisfying for a short while...
If you have very specific and verifiable violations of TER policy, then forward such to the MODs for their action, and DO NOT HARASS THE MODS (even on the RO board - LOL)!
Tex... I know about the drama & they are messing with you, but you can never win a "she said / he said" contest. If someone asks, tell them straight as you did me. Putting a public post just feeds the troll (or dragon, if you prefer). You must turn your back on this, it sucks the energy out of you. Walk away, move on, enjoy life. skb
Most of us get into this hobby to get AWAY from drama. The hobby is all about drama-free sex and companionship. That's partly why I am here. So my question is, how the heck do so many of you guys here keep finding it!? It seems like every other post around TER these days is some crazy dramatic situation. I keep it simple, don't get too involved and just have fun. And drama stays away. I just don't get it.
Tex- not saying you created any of this as I have no clue what you are talking about, just a general observation.
i think it has been established that i am not afraid of public humiliation, so that's a good thing as i see it. that suffices to reject the threat.
with regard to the gossip: any story involving my use of firearms to threaten myself, a provider, and/or her family is false.
my going forward plan is to send little phil an email with my concerns and get his feedback. this may not result in a post or the intervention of Admin but i would like a mod's perspective.
further requests for my views on providers involved will not be met with the positive recommendations i have made even recently. i will decline comment, usually. inquiries from "friends" will be handled case by case, need to know.
if you are a provider or hobbyist that i have corresponded with and wish to maintain communications, please send me an email to the address you have for me and i will provide you with a different method of staying in contact.
i prefer to be a gentleman. but do not mistake that for being "a puppy" or a "doormat".
now back to the quest for finding FC friendly providers in DC........
don't forget about that. just as in real life money can be a potent catlayst for conflict.
also, i much prefer to repeat with someone with whom i am comfortable. i will also not see someone who does not at least project that she is comfortable with me.
so my requirement for repetition is going to expose me to the risks of
1) hurt feelings over personal comfort and a degree of friendship and trust 2) profitability for the professional
in this instance i am content that i will never know whether:
1) i initially offended the feelings of these folks somehow (i always play within the agreed rule set and am open to revising that to keep folks comfortable). this has been suggested.
2) i was simply found to not open my pockets wide enough to palliate the distaste of repetition
it really is a rare and poised lady in this work who can communicate clearly and honestly enough so that repetition has little risk.
I will not decrease frequency nor alter the content of my posts in response to threat. I do not give a damn about complying with threats and will not do so.
I regret asking that a review be removed from my record that documented drama in this clique. That removal seemed to renew drama. The removal was recommended by reviewer friends, not the DQ. The decision and responsibility was mine.
Folks who think I can be "stressed" into caving miscalculate that I am certain that caving is much more stressful than not caving and dealing with the consequences.
Unfortunately it looks like your attempt to purchase VIP membership has failed due to your card being declined. Good news is that we have several other payment options that you could try.
VIP MEMBER
, you are now a VIP member!
We thank you for your purchase!
VIP MEMBER
, Thank you for becoming VIP member!
Membership should be activated shortly. You'll receive notification!
