TER General Board
Bro code for life
The Cat
Bro codes
It's that I don't trust them or sometimes it goes the other way around:
rather not get involved
I would never snitch. Some things are better left unsaid. My wife knows full well I fuck young sluts. We don't talk about it at all now. We have a life together and will grow old together. Me getting my meat slurped by some slut has nothing to do with that. My close friend would never say anything. I would not say anything. My wife doesn't want me to say anything. All this honesty stuff is bullshit.
Honestly, I don't recall how I learned the 'man code' (the understanding that some information that guys share between one another is only ever spoken of between one another - period). I don't think I learned it from my father (he didn't talk much about anything - different issue). Mostly, I think that I intuited that some information, particularly about one another's behavior, was best kept to secret. I imagine women have the same sort of honor code. But, I don't know what it's called ('sister code?').
I have had two instances (I'd since learned my lesson), where I shared very private, potentially devastating information (e.g. infidelity) with a best friend, who then subsequently shared that information with their respective wives (needless to say, in both cases, they were no longer my 'best friend'). The justification (honorable as it sounds), was that "I don't have secrets from my wife."
But dude, the 'man code'! Fortunately, there have been no adverse consequences of their disclosures (so far).
Is the 'man code' dead?
Anytime you share with anyone something you want to remain private, you take the risk they will tell someone else. It's always been that way. If you really have to discuss something that you want to remain private, pay a therapist.
...it's not what you describe.
The Man Code is: If you don't want your private information shared, don't share it, Man.
It's very similar to the dick pic code: If you don't want pics of your dick on the internet, don't take pics of your dick.
You can't possibly know, or expect that every friend you have will value his relationship with you HIGHER than he does his wife or GF, or even some other guy. That's just not realistic.
However, your gripe with the guy who blabbed is certainly valid. Because that guy is you.
Life is good
The Cat
Good advice Cat. I certainly know that now.
from a married man. If you wouldn't share it with his wife, don't tell him. This is especially true regarding couples who are friends with another couple, less often when the wives are not friends. It starts by your friends wife saying to your friend, "Betty thinks John might be cheating on her." Now your friend is in a position that if his wife later finds out he knew and didn't tell her, she will think she can't trust her own husband either. So when confronted by his wife, your friend will spill his guts about what he knows. Its better not to tell anyone. I know tempting when you're fucking some of hot women in this biz to brag a little, but no good can come of it by telling your friends if you're married. Just my take after seeing it blow up with some guys I know because they told their "best friend."
I'm cynical about the 'if his wife later find out he knew' premise, because that would require that I told someone that I told him. Even if that were to happen, I would sort of understand the 'caught in the act' confession. But, I'm sad to report that the most serious breach of trust was just a case of my friend making conversation with his wife. (still griping)
Bro codes
It's that I don't trust them or sometimes it goes the other way around:
rather not get involved
Yes. 'Bro Code'! Thanks. I couldn't think of the current vernacular.
Although (and maybe hinting at my age), 'Bro' ('bro code', 'bro-mances', etc.), weren't really a thing when I first learned the 'Bro code'.
And we're an older group so when one dies, it's one less worry....lol
But if what we know of each other ever got out, well let's say it would get a little messy. But seriously now, our wifes or SO know what goes on when us guys are on the loose, they tolerate because we always go home to momma.
But...."Loose lips sink ships"
I live by the code and will die by the code.
single guys to say, but its more complicated when you are married and have friends that know who your wife is.
Im planning to be honest with my wife too. No whoring.
Being honest about anything that involves her or me.
Tricky part is shit which might involve her relatives/friends and my friends/relatives. Between a rock and hard place for real. I agree.
I would never snitch. Some things are better left unsaid. My wife knows full well I fuck young sluts. We don't talk about it at all now. We have a life together and will grow old together. Me getting my meat slurped by some slut has nothing to do with that. My close friend would never say anything. I would not say anything. My wife doesn't want me to say anything. All this honesty stuff is bullshit.
Not talking about it by mutual agreement isn’t the same as not blabbing about something a friend said in confidence.
Guy code existed in my fraternity. It was drilled into us as freshman.
I learned the hard way not so as adults. I was dating two ladies in area I eventually moved 1000 miles away from, work move. One of the gals , we will call her Diane, was considering moving with me, and I wanted her to at the time.
I had a boat which needed to be moved from one marina to another for shipment to my new location. A male friend of mine and Diane, who both crewed for me and knew each other, moved the boat. Idiot told Diane about the other girl I had dated while moving the boat. I am 1000 miles away and this fucker is trying to fuck my girl friend by tossing me under the bus.
She did not go for him, and broke up with me in the process. He was dead to me for the betrayal.
I get nostalgic about her in my old age. Great set of boobs and loved to fuck in the cabin and topside of my boat (at night). When the weather was warm and we were sailing together, if she took her top off to tan her tits I knew it was going to be a great trip.
is probably dead today. The pussies in college these days won't be able to take the pressure of keeping a confidence from a frat brother and will need to spend some decompression time in a "safe space." Lol
Agreed. Your points plus drugs. My chapter has been booted off campus twice for drug possession.
Sad, very very sad indeed.
"Three people can keep a secret if two of them are dead."
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