So.. I know you come to us to have fun. Well, the most of you do...
We aren't your mommies or someone who ever yells at you..
But....

But I would most likely go the route of offering the mints, a shower and if none of that was taken, tell him to leave and feign illness. Caveat: if I can smell something really bad from his person, I will feign illness and get him the fuck out ...no quick shower or breath mint will cover that up.

There's really not much you can do about the slobs if they can't take a strong hint or let you bathe them. You just have to let go of the "chemistry"-aspect, risk the bad review, and either go through the motions or kick him out. Another customer will come along; you'll burn yourself out by grinning and bearing it too often.

So the sign actually hangs over the appropriate area that's closed for business.

but it's probably a no-win. Anyone with at least a few firing synapses should know not to show up funky and expect a great time, so someone who does probably isn't going to take hints or suggestion very well. I make sure to have fresh breath and unless I've showered within the hour I take one as soon as I arrive. Not doing everything possible to make it easy, and hopefully enjoyable, for her to do her job strikes me as the epitome of idiocy. But then some people act like dicks in restaurants and believe their steaks aren't sitting on a nice big phlegm wad, so there's no accounting for stupid.

virtually every Kgirl session starts with a shower and a mutual toast with mouth wash. Even the guys that don't "get it" can't find fault if you do that same ritual with every guy.

Like the rest of "us" successful entrepreneurs we'd have learned long ago how to take care of those issues.  Why h+t seems to attract the oldest, ugliest and fattest...oh, and disgustingly smelly ones...is beyond my comprehension.

Generally, it is Yes or No situation. Those have personal hiegiene and take personal pride in it will always follow good hiegiene. Those who don't have it will always fall back to their bad habits.  

Bad habits like no being hiegiene just doesn't go away because someone asked you to brush teeth and take shower. If it worked then you wouldn't have the problem to begin with.  

expecting great service from a hooker when you are just "stankin nasty" makes about as much sense as chewing out your wait staff "before" getting your food

Say I ate a tuna sandwich for lunch then a friend asks if I can meet after.. I can rinse my mouth and brush my teeth, but that breath can still linger..
I would honestly say something like, "sure! But let's start detoxing my mouth. I just took the last bite of a tuna sandwich!"

Sometimes I want to lift some of my friends' steaks and spit on it myself. The way some people treat servers, (usually at lower end places like pancake houses. Etc) is humiliating to me, and risks my food too. What kind of friend is that? Lol

But then you're one of the thousands of gals who have successfully completed the Bob.Sugar accredited classes in "How to be a successful Hooker".

I had a BSC female friend who would yell through the intercom at the employees taking her order, I don't like fast food to begin with, and I would NEVER eat any of the food she would order after calling the kid who took her/our order a moron. lol

And am always nice to the barista's.  But you go and ruin a great coffee...cream..Sugar.

Do you advertise for this?  LOL

I used to have to accompany my boss to dinner and he was one the "look at me, I'm the center of the world and you should be thrilled to wait on me" kinda customers... Made me want to hide in the coat room.

on taking a shower upon arrival and another before I leave...

This question goes without saying to both provider and client that cleanliness is not an option, it is required. I have been with a few providers that had breath similar to a sewer and other areas that smelled like a farm animal and unfortunately this doesn't come to light until it is too late.  

but I'm sure you get the occasional one that lacks maturity

you can thank me later

I want you to enjoy yourself as much as possible and if my hygine is off that would be much more difficult. So speak politely, plainly, and honestly to me about the problem and I would do what I can to fix the problem. It would be embarrassing but better than nor knowing and making your time with me horrible.

I would not ask them if they want to freshen up - I would tell them how much you like it when they freshen up before a date and ask them if they'd do it for you?  Asking if they'd do it for you will insure success in 99.9% of the cases - I have found when something is a personal request like 'could you please do that for me' that rarely does anyone except my soon to be ex-wife say 'no' so unless you are seeing my wife it should work just fine with no one getting insulted.

Even from his own self-serving perspective he sounded disgusting. He had some nerve giving her shitty scores just because she didn't want his urine in her mouth. I even told her not to worry about it, since most guys would read that and be happy that she has basic hygiene standards. Shudder.

I cringe when providers tell me they "just ate" before our date because I know I won't be kissing much. I keep a supply of extra, new, tootle brushes in my bathroom drawer. To date, I've only had one provider take me up on my offer. I also keep "girly" body washes on hand and I've offered my shower more than once.  I think the problem is I ask instead of suggesting, but how do you "suggest" that someone shower without offending them? I guess the answer is, ask to shower together! Providers could "take matters into their own hands" and wash clients a little more than they normally do - hint: guys, use a washcloth to wash your junk otherwise you're just moving funk around and NOT washing it away. Just my 2 copper coins.  

I once had a session with a provider that completely reeked of garlic. She must have eaten a ton of it earlier that day. She was gorgeous and very good at her job so I didn't say anything to her but it was a struggle at times.

as long as the taint is faint...

You need to get introduced to Mezcal, mi amigo. !

This is exactly what I mean...

Eggys boyfriend is quite the clever one!

Unfortunately, I can't quite get it this sexy

-- Modified on 8/5/2015 1:46:10 PM

One mistake I've made, and still do, is trying to be and sound too fair. But a lot of people like to give and do good for others. If you let them know they are being a blessing, and making a difference for someone else, (a girl,) sometimes that goes a lot further than telling them doing it will help them in this way or that way. That usually results in a, "no thanks, I'm fine."

These were a limited time only with memberships.  But the Solo Flex machine is a wonderful gift.  I think that with each one there is also a lovely gal to demonstrate whatever you need.  You wanted the big boobs blonde...right?

These things are miraculous!

-- Modified on 8/5/2015 2:20:20 PM

🎶Just sing to him!🎶

Posted By: Alyssa Marie

Eggys boyfriend is quite the clever one!  
   
 Either that, or great troll..  
   
 Whichever, it's funny.  
   
 Problem is.. Now do I ask a man if he wants to have a snowball? I live in Maryland, he would probably ask which flavor.

I had to tell one guy to get lost several times, because his hygiene become so poor that I cut all ties with him. I never had this issue with my older clientele. When he realized I was serious, he texted and called me dozens of times a day for a week! I didn't have call blocking at the time and never replied back. I require all my clients to shower before things get started.

weather I need it or not. I think the act of using the shower is telling the provider that I value our time together & I want to be squeaky clean and enjoyable for both of us, I also use the mouth-wash provided ( & I bring my own trial size just in-case ) and I use try to use the same towel before and after the session (unless it is really soaked from the session). This should also includes trimming your nails-hands & feet, shave your privates the day before, and shave your face the day of. This is just my routine.

All he had to say was that is was his "squirt" and she would have lapped it right up.  

Given how much I enjoy kissing I have to admit when I see a review describing rimming prowess I'm not exactly ringing her phone off the hook. Oh and FYI, a hook is a thing phones used to hang on.

to admit you went through a provider's stuff while using her bathroom. Would you do that in someone's home? They are people, you know, not fembots. Rather creepy, don't you think?

...the cdc and just about all other health organizations recommend not brushing your teeth or flossing 2 hours before or after unprotected oral sex. Brushing your teeth causes micro-abrasions and micro cuts on the gums and tongue, and these could lead to easier STI transmission via oral sex.  

They were jagged, knerled. Gross... I was also a smoker!
I never knew how offensive I was until I stopped smoking, and got braces..

Before going to see anyone...shower, shave, shit, piss, etc.   Only the former should be part of your meeting, as it is fun to shower with the ladies if they are into it.  

That's pretty classless, man.

And taking a picture of her real name on the scripts? You may want to change some things up about your practices. That is indiscreet, and stalker-ish. Exposing real information, medical information, etc.

I haven't really had to deal w poor hygiene, I always have a shower available and most anyone not coming straight from home either showeres or washes when they arrive. If I thought is was going to be an issue I'd suggest we shower as I'm grabbing his hand and leading him to the shower. Kinda hard from him to say no at that point ha-ha.  
Unfortunately not everyone does enough, or any grooming. Your going to have a much better experience if you clean up, I don't like hair stuck in my teeth!

What if she was taking psychotropic meds? Just because a provider takes them doesn't mean she's crazy. I know of several that do and they've been stable for many years. Just sayin'.

people take psych medicine to live with their psych problems.