I’ve been called a slutpuppy, a sportf*cker, a cad and a worm….

Statistics say everything,  statistics mean nothing.

# of years in the hobby:  35+
# of providers I’ve seen, total:    uh, 300?  400?  More?  

Approximate breakdown by type:  SWs – 150+   Massage Parlors – 50+  Brothel Girls (high end)  125 +   Professional Doms or Subs in Appropriately Equipped Facilities:  24   Internet Independents 50 +   Internet Agency Girls – 1

# of providers w/ whom I’ve had dinner in a restaurant:  5
# I’ve had breakfast with:  3

# I’ve seen a movie in a theater with: 0

# I’ve seen a live show w/: 2

# I’ve seen a concert w/:  2

# I’ve traveled with:  2

# I’ve done overnights w/: 3

#  who were artists:  2     writers:  0     musicians:  0   interior designers: 1  hospital employees  1; house cleaners: 2  sales reps  2     waitresses  1

#  whose full, real name I know:  5

#  whose home I visited, but not as an incall location:  Two?

#  whose family members I met:  Two      #  who met my family/friends:  One

# for whom I’ve bought  chocolates: 0; flowers: one?  Clothing: 2; jewelry: 2; trips: 2; gift certificates: 0; wine/liquor: 2; drugs: One.

# who provided services for one-digit sums:  One

# who provided services for two-digit sums:  Close to 100?

# to whom I’ve handed three-digit sums:  Ummm…300?

# to whom I’ve handed four-digit sums:  One

# to whom I gave an Amex Gold Card: One

# to whom I’ve given/loaned money because she needed it, without expectation of repayment or rendering of services:  4

# who paid it back on own volition:  One

# times I’ve had money stolen:  0

# of times I felt I’ve been ripped off:  About a dozen (i.e., services promised but not delivered)

# with whom the session took place in an automobile and included FS:  One, but several times

# with whom the session took place in an hourly hotel:  5

# in airplane restroom at 35,000 feet: 1

# in a hotel stairwell:  1

# in a rainforest, on a tarp:  1

# with her pet present: 1

# of providers whose other clients I’ve met in person:  1

# of times “caught” by police:  3  (SWs);    # of times arrested: 0

# of times I’ve caught STDs: 2 (massage parlors, early 70s)

# of times I’ve gotten the crabs: once (massage parlor, early 70s)

Most common name:  Tiffany

Most unusual name:  Alantra (then I figured out it was derived from a car!)

Weirdest name coincidence:  Seeing Summer in the summer and Autumn in the autumn.

Weirdest name phenomenon:  The gorgeous SW who kept changing her name every seven minutes or so.  

Most beautiful name:   Nerida  (means water lilies)

Duration of longest provider/hobbyist relationship (i.e., from first session to most recent):  14 years  (1987 -2001  -- Oh, Patty, where are you now???!)

#  whose skin tasted of salt:  Too many.

# who wore wigs:  5

#  with seriously bad breath:  2 that I can remember distinctly

# with body odor: 0

# who farted during the session:  One or two

# who farted when she came:  One  (equal to # of civvies)

#  who watched TV during intercourse:  One

#  who fell asleep during the session:  One

#  who insisted on using two – that’s right, two – condoms, one on top of the other, “Just in case” -- one

#  I’ve showered w/:   3

#  I’ve taken a bubble bath w/:  One

# whose pix I have or had:  Three

# who have visited my office, simply as a visit, not to render services:  3

# who have visited my home, simply as a visit:  One

Best game:  “Name that pussy!”  (In doubles, hobbyist is blindfolded and has to guess who’s sitting on his face)

Most touching thing said to me, but that was ridiculous in retrospect:  After a marathon three-hour session at the brothel that would have used up a couple of alphabets of acronyms, I took her out for drinks and then walked her home.  We kissed on her doorstep, then she said, in her darling Australian accent, “I’d invite you up, but I don’t think I’m ready for that yet.”  

Best overall technique:  Staring me dead in the eye and talking dirty based on things she knew about me

Most surprising moment:  When a new provider started talking dirty with vivid fantasies in the middle of the session.

Most anticipated moment:  At the airport, meeting a provider I’d never before met for an overnight.

Most gratifying moment:  Discovering airport-girl far exceeded my expectations.

Turk...Those are pretty detailed statistics...

You got to work on those movie liaisons...lol
I also see you mentioned airports but no mention of planes.


Smokers wil appreciate this next one...although surprisingly there is no foreplay just a case of spontaneous nicotine fix:

Two voices, one male and one female, overheard on a plane:

"I think everyone's asleep, lets go"

"This one's empty ... no-ones looking... you go in first"

"It's a bit cramped - let me sit down"

"Have you got the condom? Quick - put it on"

Sniff sniff

"Ah perfume - you think of everything"

"This is great....." (long sigh)

Static on the loud speaker then a new voice.

"This is the captain speaking, to those two people in the rear toilet. We know what you're doing and it is expressly forbidden by airline regulations... Now put those cigarettes out and take the condom off the smoke detector!"


Cheers!



Spell check







-- Modified on 4/12/2004 11:21:05 AM

You lost me when you started talking about BO, buddy.  However, I salute your longevity, even as I sincerely hope to not emulate it.

Give the newbies " List Envy "   or start a list measuring contest?

Empower the masses.  Information is power.

I'm not interested in giving the masses that kind of power over me.  Posting reviews is allready info info.

-- Modified on 4/12/2004 1:37:30 PM

# who provided services for one-digit sums:  One

Okay, that HAD to be Thailand ("Hey, Joe, me luv you long time only fi' dollah!").

can you remember 35 years worth of detailed hobbying information? Do you keep a diary? I can't even remember where I put my car keys!


What's up with 150 SW's?  Are you in an area where SW's are clean and decent looking cuz I've never seen an SW I'd want to screw, never mind 150 of em!

Could have, but wasn't.  Nuevo Laredo, Mexico, 1965.   BBBJTC.  $2.

but the memorable parts were VERY memorable -- hence, most of the entries are single digit.  

As for the SWs -- this goes back many years:  NYC in the 70s, when it was wide open, and SWs were everywhere.

Oh Oh!! Met you in chat last night and was pleasantly surprised and pleased at the chat we had about meeting each other. Damn, now I am trying to figure out how to be a surprising and memorable experience if we ever do meet. I love your list but it seems such a daunting challenge, lol! But let me assure you, I love a good challenge, keep on rocking Turkana, hugs Dana

(Sorry for the snideness, guys...) But, seriously, Dana, if the question is what's made someone memorable?  In order:  intelligence; emotional depth; wit & sharp tongue; life experience.  

And if someone did the cross tabs, three providers account for virtually all the positives.