I was going to originally post this below, but it got so long.

There are two components to an orgasm.

1) Stimulation of the nerve endings, generally of the penis. But other parts of the body can be included as well, sub-scrotum, prostate, lips, neck, inner thighs, complete body to body, etc.

2) Mental activity. This comes from a whole variety of sources. In men it’s usually visual. Based on rates paid, hopefully it’s mental activity generated by you, but sometimes when things aren’t working as well as we hoped, it can be images of stored memories and unfortunately, at that point you’re simply providing the physical stimulation. Getting back to how things should be, the best mental activity flows from a true connection with you, not just physical, but also at as many other levels as possible, emotionally, intellectually, sensually, etc.  I think the level of mental activity can be triggered or heightened by several other things as well, physical beauty, smells, sounds, and of course that little thing called love. But of course what we receive from you is not love, it can be affection (or at least appear as affection). When you exude and drip affection for us, we can become jello in your hands.

HOW DO THE TWO ABOVE THINGS COMBINE? Hopefully both at maximum levels, but that is rare. Maximizing BOTH mechanical stimulation and mental stimulation is not only very difficult but they are often exclusionary, meaning that increasing one often decreases the other.

Intercourse, missionary, or variations with both laying and relaxed allows for maximum intimate contact and exchange of the highest number of stimuli affecting both mental factors and the physical factors such as skin contact, kissing, etc. Unfortunately, condoms are the greatest killer of this main event stimulation. So while, mental activity may peak here for many, genital stimulation can be at its lowest for some. For those that rate intercourse as the highest form of intimacy (after all it’s the highest form or human bonding), then this form of sex is at the top of the preference list. For some it’s not and for others the loss of genital arousal requires a plan B.

Enter the BJ, if done well (read BBBJ with excellent technique), it provides much greater genital stimulation than intercourse (especially considering the cover during intercourse). It can also provide great visuals (unless the guy’s added a little weight like me, LOL) as well as good sounds. Women skilled in oral seem to each have developed their own styles and techniques. On the receiving end, preferences of men vary greatly. Probably some men enjoy the variety they receive from different ladies. I wonder just how many men actually provide adequate feedback to woman so she can adjust? And how many woman are open to making those adjustments? I know I have experiences with both kinds of ladies. Some have their styles and generally like to stick to them. They know what works for most men. Why mess with “perfection”? Others are very open to making adjustments on the fly. Now your at the end, to CIM or not to CIM? This activity very much falls into the metal stimulus side of the equation, although proper mechanical stimulation of the head of the penis following orgasm adds greatly to the experience. Done with the lips, this can be heavenly. Too many woman stop the mechanical stimulation too soon after the orgasm starts. Learn to milk it for everything it’s worth. Slow down as much as required to keep me from pulling away, but KEEP GOING. If you aren’t afraid of the fluids, don’t be in a rush to leave to clean up. A brief (or not so brief) wet, gooey, post ejaculation penile massage can be just the cool down needed. While the BBBJ offers combination of good mechanical stimulation and mental stimulation, I personally do not feel it provides the ultimate mechanical stimulation.

Enter the HAND JOB. A well lubricated (no water based lubes please) and expertly applied hand job provides the ultimate in mechanical stimulation. Yes, it lacks the ability to offer many of the metal stimulation factors but in the right hands, the combination of friction, pressure and movement cannot be offered by any other means. One reason that hand jobs are down played so much is that most women, providers included, just don’t know how to give an excellent hand job. Also, it’s considered among the lowest form of intimacy.  Some of you course are excellent at it and you know who you are. To give the right hand job is really a variation of Tantra. It can be made to easily last 30 to 40 minutes. It requires a certain level of empathy from the provider in order to feel what the I am is experiencing, so that she’s knows just when to pull back. It can sometime be combined with a prostrate massage or just simple external prostate pressure. If done properly, oral can be intermixed with the “manual” procedure for maximum effect. When others have said that good oral needs some involvement of the hand or hands, they are sort of “backing into” this great experience.

For me the ideal “session” starts slowly and sensually. Light then deeper kissing, breathing, petting, hugging and massage. Involve as much sensory activity and stimulus as possible, from as many sources as possible. At some point fairly early on, if she’d like to “get off”, I like to oblige at this point. It’s sometimes difficult to get an honest answer from her, since many are used to obliging the men who are lovers of DATY. If she doesn’t want it or appreciate it, I don’t mind (and usually prefer) skipping this. If she wants or needs it, I am more than happy to do my best. After all, I’ve learned that I usually get back whatever I’m willing to openly give. Then, after she’s done and I’m “ready” (read erect), I’ll usually be up for some intercourse, usually just to be able to say we did. It rarely lasts more than a few minutes and I almost never finish this way. Then I like to lay back and let her have her way with me. Basically I’m open to experiencing what she wants to show me or do to me. It’s her show for awhile. If that means more intercourse, I’ll keep trying, but soon I’ll go soft (I’m starting to experiment with ED drugs). If things are going well I give her little direction. I’ve learned more new things this way, but if it’s not working, I’ll make suggestions as to what might work better. Hopefully, this proceeds to excellent oral and then crescendos to mostly a hand job lasting as long as possible. We need massage oil everywhere. I’m completely shaved so the oils easily go everywhere. If she can bring me to the brink and back several times, I’m in heaven. When the end is near, more oral is added again. Here the oils can interfere as they are not tasty for most. Tip here for those of you interested: The best thing to use is Castor Oil. It’s identical to Baby Oil without the perfumes that give it the bad taste. It’s perfectly edible and has almost no taste. Don’t swallow much though as it is used as a medicinal laxative. And remember, don’t mix oil with latex. Finally I release without you stopping. The man made fluids simply provide more lubrication for the next several seconds or minutes until I nearly fall asleep.

OK, I can’t stand only writing about this anymore. I need to take a break