Did you do this unto her, or vice versa?

In either case, in the BD/SM sphere, these are pretty common; but not in the world of GFE or even PSE, really.

I've only known one gal who asked me to slap her as we were in the thick of it, and I did so (not too hard), and as it got her excited, I also got pretty excited.

However, I don't plan to make a habit of it.

The scene from "Weeds" when Nancy's boyfriend grabs her, puts her over his knee, lifts her dress and spanks her bottom red while in the back of his limo.  It happens so fast she doesn't even have time to protest.  But afterwards a delayed smile comes to her face.

My runner-up all-time best nomination goes to the opening scene from an episode of "Eastbound and Down" when Kenny Powers gets back with his GF and they're making out in his Escalade.  They start kissing, she pauses and pulls back, then asks Kenny "Are you ready?"  Then she unhooks her front-open bra and releases two of the most incredible tits ever seen on television.

And people say there's nothing to watch on TV !

casinostocks"Then again, I can take a punch from a smaller (untrained) female as I do combat sports, but I dunno about some of you other wusses out there!"

I know someone who spent a week in the hospital, because he didn't know his new GF was highly trained, until after he got drunk, and hit her in the face. She was one of those sneaky black belt women . She  didn't let anyone know she could kick most guys ass, unless she needed to protect herself.
I'm a smart enough wuss, when a woman  asks me if she can hit me in the stomach, I always ask how many older brothers she has. If she's short or tall,and athletic, with  two or more older brothers, I tell her no thank you, no matter how much smaller she is, or how many times she calls me wuss.
Chances are good, her brothers have taught her how to inflict extreme pain,on someones celiac plexus.  Sorry No free tries.

I've been nailed a few times by women over the years, usually with a roundhouse to the jaw when I wasn't paying attention, occasionally numerous blows to the face and head, while in bed, if she smells her best friends pussy on my lips, but I have NEVER hit a woman  back. I will put my fists in front of my face, to avoid the bloody nose and eyes, while quickly abandoning  battlestation  bed.
 The most embarrasing, a stripper  found out I was doing her non stripping sister.
She smiled and called me to the stage, nailed me on my jaw,in front of the crowd. I smiled and walked away.
 I didn't think her sister would kiss and tell.
I got a lot of flak from the macho men that were there.
The owner of the club said "Can't believe you  didn't hit her back .If she hits like a man she's fair game"
I told him she hit like most men, just like girls, and it didn't hurt.
She was fired, I was still welcome.

Had a live in  GF, kept nagging me to come home from work,  play a rough her up,smack her around,and force rape her fantasy.
 Wasn't on my things to do list, and she couldn't understand why I wouldn't do it for her.
I couldn't  believe how much she kept trying to convince me, if I loved her, I would.

In her defense, it reminds me of years ago, a GF who didn't want Greek. I kept trying to convince her, no matter how many times she said No.

Not knocking ANYONE into ANY kind of thing, if BOTH  people are adults, and  game.

 I don't mind bitch slapping a drunk yapping guy, who gets in my face in public.
I have always found  it odd, most drunk guys  who become out of hand, and threaten  violence,are easily, bitched slapped sober.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Bitch+Slap

on whether you're an officer of the LAPD or not.

how common are these sessions? Feel free to use an alias if you don't want it advertised that that is something you are in to.i just had a sesh where a girl asked to do this and I played along, and I liked it.

I love to bite a womans ass cheek, and my favorite the back of the calf, during k9 I will pull her leg up to my face, and sink my teeth in(RAGH) gently of course. On the flip side I love having dick slapped and bit, some chicks have some sharp teeth, yes I'm a freek.

Ok I might spank a dancer now and then,  with permission of course and a signed waiver as she will have me finger prints on file for a few days.  But thta is to much for me.

She had a great time doing it, and seeing her smile and hearing her laugh was well worth the pain. lol!

But I've been with other ladies that I've bit and choked, also. Their deal, not mine.

Whatever floats your boat, I guess.

Well I don't advertise per se but if they want to look at my site it states I do fetishes. I've only once allowed myself to be smacked (not super hard) and a some choking. I usually get asked to do the spitting and biting. It's fun as long as long as you can control yourself.  If a lady does fetishes and role-playing it might be kind of common and if BDSM etc is what a lady only does or it's a lifestyle for her I think I can safely assume it's extremely common for her to do these things.

...via PM.

That's quotable. May I use it?



HH

she asked me to pin her down and choke her.  she was the one biting my lips and neck and such and slapping me in the face. it was pretty fucking hot. reminds me of the show Californication: "Punching and Fucking" lol  and yes there is a level of trust as i have seen her quite a few times.

allowing someone dominion over your freedom of moment - allowing them power over the very air you breathe... requires a tremendous amount of trust, at least for me.

i would panic and go into cornered animal mode if anyone ever tried this without discussing it with me first (i can think of maybe 5 exceptions to this rule, and i'm sure they know who they are).  i'm not particularly strong or skilled as a fighter, but when i panic, i go crazy and have inflicted serious harm against others when they have not respected my boundaries even after being warned; not always intentionally, either.

these activities can be a huge turn-on (in particular, something about a man demonstrating my own helplessness to me by pinning me down drives me up the WALL -- especially when i know that although he makes me aware of my powerlessness he'd never exploit it to nefarious ends), but NOT within the framework of the dynamic i share with most people.  that sort of play is nonexistent in my world these days.

A. Consenting and requesting are two seperate things. As the OP's story goes, it was he who consented, not vice versa.

B. Being keenly aware of the risks does not automatically equate to fear, nor does it invalidate consent. There are also different kinds of fear - fear for life and limb is substancially different than fear of if that big dick will hurt when inserted into orifice. Fear of being caught when engaging in an affair or public sex may be seen as a desireable fear; an aphrodisiac.

C. Escorts have rules galore, we know this because men come to this board religously to bitch about said rules. No DATY, no kissing, no this, no that - I don't think many girls fear adding 'no crushing of my sternocleidomastoid' to the list.

D. Legal tender and deadly weapons aren't even related. Staring at an envelope stuffed with cash, you have a choice to make. Staring down the barrel of a .38 special, you have no choices. Who really holds the power, the payer or the payee, in this case, is very debateable. By no means do 'providers' consider you their employer, in fact I believe most would laugh at that notion.  

As a fan of Showtime series Californication, I like (for most parts) that Hank Moody character portrayed by David Duchovny and I would advocate to be the recipient of a punch (slap/smack) in the act of fcuking, rather than the thrower of the punch (assuming we are talking hetro in here!) Then again, I can take a punch from a smaller (untrained) female as I do combat sports, but I dunno about some of you other wusses out there!
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J/K

this was not a gfe or pse girl, she is actually advertised as a non-gfe, which makes it that much hotter!  my charm and wit and boyish good looks must have worked on her :P lol she told me she does this kind of stuff with just a handful of guys. i take it with a grain of salt.

Told me 'Look at me while I'm cumming!'

Good times!

otherwise, it is abusive, and potentially dangerous.

The salient point is whether consent was communicated, and whether the person communicating consent is in a condition to be able to consent willingly and without duress.

receiving violence, with a dopaminergic reward resulting.  

As long as it is consensual, enjoy!

I know a gal who likes to have her butt slapped, her pussy slapped (not  too hard) and likes to be forced to choke on cock.  Once she even gasped to me, "Take my air!"  I am always very willing to help her.

well, she slapped me and bit me without consent am i a victim of abuse? lol
I loved every moment, but, and slap!!

"Quad, I did say "untrained" in parenthesis! I will take a punch from an uber HOT girl, if that is going to get her off during intercourse"just as long as it is not a punch to my beans!

LOL I realized you said untrained.
 I wasn't talking of a girl who likes to give love punches in the bed, though someone trained would usually be safer,and not accidentally break my nose, as long as she's not pissed off at me.
I was speaking of the girl standing in the bar, 99 + 1% of the time it's a strip bar. The stripper is pacing with extreme desires to punch someone , most likely because of  comments she had to endure to get the last five lap dances,or she just found out her BF she's supporting, has been doing her best friend, while she's working a different shift.

If she doesn't have older brothers who taught her how to punch,and I let her release her aggravated tension on my stomach, I 'always" cover my jewels, even when she says I don't have to cover up, she won't miss.
If you've been to strip clubs ,you know "some" strippers can easily lose control. I would never trust their aim,and play rope a dope,where it counts the most.

Once there was this girl who liked slapping me back and forth ala a pendulum across my chest and according to her, it was a "conditioning" method for the purpose of cumming!!!

Quad, I did say "untrained" in parenthesis! Plus, I train Muay Thai and spar in the ring, so I have honed my reflexes when it comes to sudden head movements (snapping, bobbing, weaving & ducking) With all that said, I will take a punch from an uber HOT girl, if that is going to get her off during intercourse, just as long as it is not a punch to my beans! However, the bottom line is that I enjoyed reading your stories

Tell you the truth, we did a lot of weird ass shit that night.

Cracked my ass up when we went to the fuck store. We bought some toys, and the boys there were totally in awe of my friend.

Me, being a drunk and totally presumptuous, asked them, 'you know who this lady is?'

Told them who, they busted out their ipods, and freaked the fuck out.

We laughed, and went on our way.

The key issue here is, as he stated it: "...whether the person communicating consent is in a condition to be able to consent willingly and without duress. "

Let me ask a question. Why do providers use fake names with their clients?

There could certainly be many reasons, but the primary reason is FEAR. Whether the fear is justified in a given case or not doesn't matter. The fear is nevertheless present. Fear of being stalked, fear of being harmed, fear of being blackmailed, fear, fear, fear.

How valid is the consent of a woman who FEARS me? Wouldn't fear constitute duress?

Now, she may be anonymous on only a provisional basis. That is, she does not necessarily fear the hobbyist; but is anonymous *just in case* there is something to fear; but is not actually fearful of the hobbyist during the session.

But, since I am dealing with *an actress* in many (though certainly not all) cases; I really have no way of knowing if the woman fears me, or is simply anonymous provisionally.

Either way, as far as I am concerned, any "consent" I may obtain from a woman who is anonymous because of her fear of various potentialities is extremely limited in scope to start with; and she is quite frankly on thin ice because if I get the slightest hint that she isn't willing or she actually fears me, there isn't going to be sex. I don't need sex badly enough for it to be worth it.

In those sorts of circumstances, I believe that because consent is not really guaranteed, one should err on the side of caution in terms of the limits of consent and stay pretty vanilla.

Lauren Summerhill quite validly stated that TRUST is the issue. Again, a woman who is even provisionally anonymous by definition does not trust me. As such, the range of her valid consent is limited to things with no substantial likelihood of harm.

But let me add one other thing to the mix.

The fact that money is being exchanged argues that she would not have sex with the client *at all* without the money; and that therefore the money itself has established a power differential such that this is not a meeting of equals. In essence, the money has the same effect for the client that a gun would have for a rapist. Though I am NOT stating that "all sex for money is rape" -- because, after all, money is NOT a gun, I am definitely stating that it establishes a power differential.

In such circumstances, the person with the power, in my opinion, has enhanced responsibility for the wellbeing of the person who is being induced to act via that power. This is no different than OSHA regulations requiring employers (who are generally more powerful than their employees) to maintain a safe workplace.

So in an environment where money is being exchanged, the power differential -- the power to have a woman have sex with you who otherwise would not -- it seems to me that the client's extra responsibility for the other person would preclude dangerous things.

But what if the woman is not anonymous, trusts the individual, and no money is being exchanged?

Trust, in and of itself, imposes a reciprocal obligation to be worthy of that trust. There is therefore STILL a line that cannot be crossed, though we may differ over where that line should be drawn.

Can a woman give valid consent to kill her? Generally, no. That is because her mere giving of that consent indicates she is not of sound mind, and hence the consent is not valid. As a trusted person, if she is not acting of sound mind in her best interests, it is my obligation to make sure she does not come to harm.

Can she give valid consent for DATY? Generally, yes. This is an activity that generally presents a low risk; especially in my case as I get thoroughly tested for STDs two weeks in advance of every session. While this is no guarantee that she is safe and I would never do bbfs; combined with the low transmission rates and so forth, her likelihood of harm is quite low.

Somewhere between DATY and homicide *there is a line*. Where that line is drawn depends upon the sound and rational judgment of the individuals involved. In some cases, it will accommodate slapping, and in other cases not.

But if you take a look at the anatomy of what lies behind and is protected by the sternocleidomastoid; you realize that excessive pressure in that region has the potential to induce swelling after the session is over that would compress the jugular vein and carotid artery, causing interruption or diminution of bloodflow to the brain and temporary or permanent debility and or death.

As a person with greater familiarity than most with such things, it's likely I could pull this off with a wider margin of safety than is typical. Nevertheless, for ME, applying force in that region (a/k/a "choking" or "sleeper holds") is something I could not be induced to do to someone unless they posed an imminent and inescapable life-threatening risk. It's certainly over my line for lovemaking.

I pinned down a thick blonde - figured she could take my bodyweight. I stuck my boner as deep as I could.  She enjoyed it tremendously. She squealed like a pig and I think she was too loud that anyone in the next 2 rooms could hear her.

but only with a gal where there is a real comfort level already.

opened up a whole can of worms didn't i. but i'd have to agree, cash and a weapon can never be equated. they always have the right to refuse service, to stop the show if they don't like what you are doing, and so on.  at lease all the girls I have ever seen, they have always been the ones in control of the situation. they are essentially independent contractors who have the skills and/or looks i want. they decide if they want to take on the "job" and do it there own way with there own rules and regulations.  

and it was i who gave consent to the girls request of wanting to be choked and pinned down cause i was really, really reluctant.next she wants to do handcuffs. now i ain't sure about this one as that may be a line i don't think i can cross. but i tend to be a pleaser, so if she keeps asking like she did with the choking, i may give in

"As a general rule, I wash my ass before appointments. But if some provider has a fetish for smelling my shit while going down on me, I might make an exception"

 ROFL  That's a mental picture, I hope will never makes it to the museum.
Wouldn't be surprised , since beautiful art or a beautiful mind, is interpreted from many different perspectives.
Just because a provider, or any woman tells you something, doesn't mean it's always her true feelings..
My advice: To be on the safe side, always wash your ass, in case she changes her mind.
Cheers

"Why do providers use fake names with their clients? There could certainly be many reasons, but the primary reason is FEAR."

The main reason the ladies I have talked to use fake names is to make it harder for LE to find them, to keep themselves from being outed from friends and family keep control of her information for when she retires, and to help separate there professional life and personal life. It is not because of fear of there client. I good number give me there real name on the first session without me asking. How fearful is that?

"Lauren Summerhill quite validly stated that TRUST is the issue."

Trust is an issue and while most of the ladies I know don't fear their clients, many of them don't trust them to start. They in my opinion would be foolish to do so until they really get to know them. But a lack of trust does not invalidate consent, but it does make it much less likely to be given.

"The fact that money is being exchanged argues that she would not have sex with the client *at all* without the money; and that therefore the money itself has established a power differential such that this is not a meeting of equals."

Your right, often the lady has most of the power. Her clients want sex, some would argue that it is a psychological need. There is so much power there that some guys are paying a days wage or more for said sex. Are the ladies giving up a days time for said days pay? No, they are not. Generally, closer to 3 hours with screening, prep, and the actual time with the client. That is why my wife feels compelled to provide, the feeling of power it gives her. The power is in the ladies favor most of the time.

"Somewhere between DATY and homicide *there is a line*. Where that line is drawn depends upon the sound and rational judgment of the individuals involved."

This I fully agree. But it is up to the individuals to decide where that line is. I only do vanilla sex acts. Heck I don't even DFK my paid dates.  Often it is the lady pushing my boundaries. My boundaries are different then lets say MP67's which let a lady bite all down his body. I would never let a paid date do so, but it was fine between MP67 and his paid date.

Guess what I think that as long as both parties are relatively sober, willing, of relatively sound mind, no ones under any real duress, and able to do so relatively safely they can beat the crap out of each other during their sexual play. Heck they can even, piss and shit on each other, who am I to judge. In other words, "to each their own."

Certainly, any lady I have seen has given what I consider to be valid consent; meaning that I don't believe she fears me and that she isn't so desperate for money that it can be used as a club. I'm quite certain that the ladies I see have a certain level of trust in me, and vice-versa.

Within THAT context -- my views are quite similar to yours; because my experiences are no doubt similar. I have had no problem with tying up providers and all manner of stuff because I have been quite confident of the validity of consent.

But I think it is worthwhile to see this from a perspective outside of our experiences.

Look at some of the complaints, rants and statements that various providers have posted over time. Granted, I have never seen these providers and likely you haven't either; but I would posit that these ladies are fairly common. Aliased, a great many have posted that they do it only for the money. Sure, some see it as empowering, but others have posted that they dissociate during sex with clients. Quite a few have posted that they fake orgasms, that they find their clients unattractive or even sickening, etc. And, yes, over time quite a few have put forth that they have fears of stalking, etc. from guys who don't grasp the unreality of what is going on. I have seen a number of postings about guys who were in some fashion abusive, or (and this problem seems pervasive) can't or won't wash their ass.

Providers are a subset of women as a whole. Though I have no doubt that a certain percentage of providers are multiorgasmic nymphomaniacs who feel empowered and validated completely devoid of fear and they have independent sources of income and only provide for the thrill; I am also quite certain that there are providers out there who NEED that money to keep the lights on (many hobbyists have had this experience), fear their patrons (as in the provider who said she films sessions in case of violence), fake their orgasms (too many have posted this to count), loath their patrons (one banned poster comes to mind) and so on.

So rather than base my assessment on my own personal experiences -- which would be very unrealistic because my style of hobbying is a minority -- I have instead based my assessment on what providers and hobbyists have posted.

While we agree that "to each their own" and that, in general, any two consenting adults have a right to decide where to draw their lines; I think it stands to reason that a wise person will pay very close attention to issues of consent.

You are the "man on the ground" and had to make an on-the-spot assessment of the situation that, in general, you would be in a far superior situation to assess. So I'm not second-guessing you particularly. Rather, I am looking at the general situation.

Obviously, there are individual circumstances that differ from the norm. There are providers who have had me tutor their kids. Obviously, those providers have a high level of trust in me. There are providers who have introduced me to their parents. Etc. Etc. Etc. Clearly, with these particular women, there is a high enough level of trust that I could be very certain of their consent for things outside the mainstream. So I understand that circumstances differ and that not every case is some woman huddling in fear. Thank goodness!

But in a world that stands outside social norms, I think it is worthwhile to try to establish frames of reference for right action. After all, with freedom comes responsibility; and it is those few who do not act responsibly whose actions necessitate the diminution of freedom for the rest of us.

General rules are only general rules. As a general rule, I wash my ass before appointments. But if some provider has a fetish for smelling my shit while going down on me, I might make an exception.

Have a friend, who once was a provider years ago. We started to get sexual, and it became readily apparent that, for her, sex was a contact sport; actually at the edge of being a combat exercise. I learned through that experience that I prefer to keep my sexual passions separate from my passions for aggression and hostility.

was hot as shit. Take-control guys turn me on like fuck. Didn't do the biting though. It's hot but no marks on my pretty skin please.