the SO (hubby, BF) getting fucking obese and she couldn't find his dick anymore without a crane.
And the incessant farting and belching isn't so sexy either.
That's what a few gals have told me...but I'm sure it isn't really true 
Posted By: salonpas
At a given point in time you may have a female significant other offering you the best BJ's, sex, Greek, rimming experience and then all of sudden one day it's all gone. She loses complete interest. Why? A female friend was telling me that the only chance a guy has at keeping the sensual desires going forever is to become one helluva DATY specialist. i.e get a Ph.d in DATY!
I can't believe no one said maybe she found out you see other ladies! This could quickly turn a woman off to make her not want to sleep with you at all. Or you didn't remember her birthday, anniversary, or didn't get her a nice enough gift on Christmas. Ladies have a plethora of emotions ... some emotions beyond control of hormones because we only have one head to think with (with many many compartments lol). Good luck...
Yes, hormones play a role. It does take a few months for things to straighten out after child-birth. I understand it can take years for things to readjust after menopause. But hormones can also work in your favor. I am insatiable when ovulating and on my period. But a warning - also a complete bitch right before my period. Most women are.
The other thing is body image. Hard to feel sexy when your 110lb self becomes 130lbs after babies. Add to it loose skin, stretch marks and saggy breasts - and she is only getting undressed with lights off, under the covers. However if she can pull it together and start dieting/exercising, you will reap the reward as she feels better about herself. This is where gift certificates to have her hair done while you watch the kids is particularly helpful. But don't you dare buy her work-out clothes or a gym membership. You are risking physical injury.
Another problem is emotional intimacy. Do you sit in front of the TV with your iPad and grunt as she tries to talk to you? Do you share your day or start sentences with, "it's too complicated for you to understand..." Do you make her feel like your partner? Are you smart and wait until the kids are in bed before trying to engage her in meaningful conversation?
Then there is the problem of physical intimacy. Rubbing your cock against her ass while she washes the dishes should not be your only lead-up to sex. Or even worse, no physical intimacy outside of the bedroom. Sit on the couch with her and run your hands through her hair, caress her arm, grab her hand and give her a kiss at unexpected moments. Make her feel that you sexually desire her. Cuddle after sex and do not roll over and go to sleep.
Changes in physical appearance mean FAR less to women than to men. Don't really care if you go bald and gain 30lbs. It's all the other stuff we care about.
And FYI... women are not the only ones who lose interest in sex.
Posted By: salonpas
At a given point in time you may have a female significant other offering you the best BJ's, sex, Greek, rimming experience and then all of sudden one day it's all gone. She loses complete interest. Why? A female friend was telling me that the only chance a guy has at keeping the sensual desires going forever is to become one helluva DATY specialist. i.e get a Ph.d in DATY!
The ONLY way a relationship would work for me is if the guy never lived with me, and we were at least a few hours away from each other. Once a guy gets clingy and obsessive, the attraction I once felt towards him fades a little more each day, until I find him repulsive. Once that happens, there is NOTHING he can do to make me attracted to him again...especially sexually.
If men continued to play the hard to get/challenge game, I would be a kept woman. To date, only one guy has ever kept me on a string, but I would not say I 'loved' him. Still, he was in fact the type of guy I would need to be able to stay with long term, other than the lies of course.
That lasted 4 years, and my two marriages never even made it to a year mark. Though I believe in love and marriage, I do NOT believe in living together. If I ever marry again, it will be to a guy who can afford for us to keep two houses lol.
If a man is too dependent on me, it is a turn off. I like men who are as independent as I am, for my desires to remain in tact. Yes, even a sexual desire for a man can be ruined by him getting too needy. It is simply the most unattractive thing a man can do is show how crippled he is without a woman. I would imagine many guys feel the same about needy women, which is why P4P was invented...to avoid having traditional affairs where one gets attached.
It is not our overall sexual desire that fades, but that decrease is a manifestation of what we are feeling in other areas Most women still have the desire for sex, but it's not always with the man they have lived with for 10 plus years. Guys who need constant attention to feel secure in a relationship, will never be what keeps my flame burning. Once I see the obsessive, possessive, bs, it's over!
I am not saying that clingy, assurance seekers are bad, but they need to stick together...just as people who like to be alone a lot need to find a mate who also likes the same thing. When you have two people who have entirely different views about what they want, it's a war not a relationship. All of the above contribute to a lack of sexual desire. Who wants to have sex with someone that has annoyed them to the point of being unattractive? I certainly don't.
-- Modified on 12/29/2012 12:36:35 PM
who wants to know what you are doing every second. Broke up with many girls just for the “clingy” reason. I don’t want someone to around and to be around someone every second.
Being independent is important to as it is to you.
1. Women's sexuality does not function like male sexuality. Women's sexuality tends to be a lot more fluid then men's sexuality. Just as an example, you never hear a straight man all the sudden in his 40s come out as gay, unless he has been closeted all his life. Or conversely, you never hear of a gay man all of the sudden becoming straight. Yet, we hear a lot of stories about women who have lived happily and honestly heterosexual lives, all the sudden later in life becoming predominantly attracted to women. You also hear a lot of stories of lesbian who, when they get to the age when their biological clock turns into Big Ben, they really want to fuck men. Also, bisexuality is more common in women than in men. This same fluidity can be applied to sexual appetites. If a man, for example, is into being submissive, chances are that he has felt that way since his formative sexual years, and he's going to feel that way forever. That's not to say he isn't capable of exploring and enjoying things outside of that fantasy...but chances are, that's always going to be the #1 thing that gets his juices flowing. This is not usually the case with women. True, many of us do have favorite fantasies, but they tend to change more over time, and what turned us on 10 years ago may not turn us on today.
2. Piggybacking off of that, women's hormone levels change a lot more than men's do over the course of their lifetime. Men's sex drive, though it peaks typically in their late teens/early twenties, is pretty fixed. That's not how a woman's sex drive works (that's why a lot of ladies in the biz take extended breaks!). Sometimes, it's go go go! Other times, it's non existent, and it's just how our sex drives ebb and flow.
3. Women are brought up in a world where we are taught to please men, and porn especially has upped the ante over the past 20 years about what is and isn't "normal" and what is to be expected. Most of this, of course, falls on women's shoulders (how many guys are expected to bend and contort themselves into extremely uncomfortable positions just to get their lady off?). Furthermore, for many, porn is the only avenue to learn about sex for pleasure, and women internalize what they see. So many will do these things that they're not into, and that they've never been into, just to please their man and keep them by their side. And that's really, really difficult for most women to sustain for a long period of time. Eventually, they take a posture of "been there, done that. I gave you what you wanted, so how about you give me what I want by just leaving me the fuck alone?" Sad, but true.
4. It is more physically and emotionally taxing to be penetrated than to penetrate. And again, if that is constantly part of the routine, and always to be expected, some women do crash and burn. And it even happens to some women who are totally into it, and get off that way. Women do tend to be more emotional creatures than men, and so you can really overload that circuit if you're not careful. Some women do find that it takes the pressure off them when vaginal/anal sex are not always on the menu, and there are sessions mixed in that are "just" oral and/or mutual masturbation.
I hope this helps give you a little bit more insight as to why these things happen. I know that it is frustrating when all of the sudden the sex dries up, and there seems to be no interest in getting it back. But perhaps this bit of insight will at least help you sympathize and understand the fairer sex's viewpoint.
