I'm sorry for your stalking guy. That is really pathetic.
However when someone posts on boards/blogs they are putting themselves out there. Many of the people I know in P4P just post an ad or have a website. They don't get on Twitter/Facebook and blog about themselves or their lives. Those that find they need to go that route open themselves up to discussion. Same as on this board. Easy enough to not reply to someone, in any form. But many can't help themselves. They seek some kind of affirmation, attention. I would have kept a gun in bed instead of a baseball bat. Unless you played MLB. And weren't a pitcher.How people digest the information they read online can turn into harassment, if not stalking. If someone responds to every single thing a person writes on a site and persists despite being asked not to, that could be harassment. If someone follows a person from site to site to comment on things they write, that could be harassment and stalking. What happened during GamerGate to women like Anita Sarkeesian was definitely both harassment and stalking, and it led to stalking offline, too.
And if someone somehow gets past a person's privacy block - especially if said block was erected to shut them out - I think that would count as stalking, even though it's virtual.
I hear people refer to reading someone's public posts on social media as "stalking" (e.g. "I know he got a new dog even though we don't talk because I Facebook stalk him"). I think if you post things publicly there's an expectation that people will read/see them (and if you don't want it to be public, utilize the privacy and block functions). Most social media sites are built with the intention of following a person to read what they wrote.
I was stalked for seven years, and it's frustrating to hear that word tossed around flippantly when it's hard enough to get people take it seriously when it's real. Someone reading a public Twitter feed every day is not the same as someone finding you every time you move, calling, writing, commenting on your online posts to let you know they're watching you, standing outside your window yelling at you, waiting outside your door for 8 hours after you've moved yet again, etc.
I slept with a baseball bat next to my bed and would throw the lights on and open the closets when I got home pretty much every day for that time period (and still sometimes do out of habit, even though it's over). Now that we spend so much of our life online, there are certainly virtual equivalents of that. I think it's just harder to pinpoint.
One could say that any activity online is voluntary and if you want to avoid whoever is bothering you, just don't engage or put up as many privacy walls as you can. But would that then be applied to telling someone who has a non-virtual life stalker following them down the street not to use that road or to just stay in their home or office all the time? It's hard to sort out when things go from annoying/creepy to legitimate stalking in online settings.
Is being followed around the boards stalking?
Or does it really only apply to IRL being stalked?
Some guys post that they like when a prostitute stalks them. But I don't think that's really funny.
There is certainly nothing wrong with following someone you like to keep up with them, but if you are collecting info to use against them somehow, that's where I cry foul.
IMHO, following people isn't normal. Does anyone here
know anyone who follows people?
Would any of us be comfortable knowing someone is
following us? I wouldn't .... just sayin`
What would be the point of it then?
I follow providers I know in terms of making them favorites of mine and check out new reviews, etc. when they get posted.
I like to see how they are doing (I often notify them of new reviews which they appreciate as they don't have the time to check out their TER profiles every day.)
I still say that it is the intent, not the actions that determine the line between healthy interest and stalking
of course I do. That's my half of the equation and (almost) every provider would probably encourage me to do so.
I was referring to physical stalking, even when no ill will is intent-ed. When someone knows your comings and goings as Alyson discusses below. Outside of the hobbyists due diligence.
I know where several providers live and have never once thought about hanging around to catch her going in or coming out, let alone to follow her. That's beyond creepy and not part of the fee I paid for her services.
But this just came to mind. Great agreed upon role play. I follow her to a store, pick her up and take her back to my place ... hmmmm.
Again, I digress.....
Aren't I Bailey.
Lol, I have a provider who says that she will stop seeing me once I see a certain number of providers. She checks on here and counts up reviews etc.
She is awesome. Has a magical pussy. And is my stalker.
names or it didn't happen...
Then it's stalking. The unwanted texts, calls, email or other forms of communication that never end. The trying to discover a person's dentity using multiple means, etc.
I don't care if it's here or IRL. If you know it's wrong then call it what it is.
If you mean following someone like you would anyone else on a message board I wouldn't consider stalking. If you meant only reading what your favorite lady says than only replying to her than yes that could be a form of stalking. If your talking to everyone it's not stalking. We all have our favorites.
Many different types of stalking. You can stalk thru many different ways as well.
Scary Shit stalking is what my ex did. Read below for what I classify as grade A psycho. Best in bed. but not worth the emotional damage she did.
She knocked on my door every day for six weeks straight after I broke it off with her. 40 Voice messages a day 300+ text messages and endless emails apologizing. I will be better letters in the mailbox watching me from around the corner. Showing up at my local hang out than trying to go out with a classmate to make me jealous.
If you show any of these signs or you can't move on from one lady it could lead into stalking.
I would highly recommend seeking help if you show any of these signs.
Or does it really only apply to IRL being stalked?
Some guys post that they like when a prostitute stalks them. But I don't think that's really funny.
When I think of stalking, I think of malicious intent. If someone on either side of the hobby has expressed discomfort and the offender continues doing something, that would likely fall in the malicious/stalking category.
However, this industry has a lot of people who just enjoy gathering info out of sheer nosiness. Some clients are sort of collectors and get an ego boost procuring info consensually given to them that is not public knowledge. Some clients and providers, needing to know where they stack up, obsess over everyone's reviews. And some clients have never had relationships out of the hobby and can treat an ATF as a partner surrogate and constantly push for info on her life and whereabouts. And some girls get territorial about clients, even beyond the financial. These are not mean-spirited, as with stalking, but can be nearly as detrimental.
-- Modified on 1/9/2016 1:32:04 PM
...but I think where P4P is concerned any contact beyond what is necessary to set up sessions could be considered excessive unless the provider encourages it...following them on the boards and spending time on ther website is fine unless it becomes an obsession...
sorta like "safe strangers" ... it's the line that's between a one timer and an ATF you see regularly ... I use obsession "figuratively" to save posts asking if I know what it means.... I don't
My focus there was on the concept of the client who becomes so enamored with a specific escort that he doesn't consider any others, becomes convinced she is the only one he needs, and starts to believe that a relationship exists that doesn't...not to "serial killer" levels of obsession but to the level where his focus becomes unhealthy...
I'm sure that most escorts enjoy the attention and focus of their regulars, but if they sensed that one of them is becoming too attached they would cut him loose...I think that would be the case, anyway...
And cut them loose. What is really sad is they actually believed that (we had a relationship) even though they were paying for the sexual transaction...how is that ever considered a real relationship?.
I can see it...
For me, once the envelope hits the table the money is no longer a consideration...I'm looking to immerse myself in the experience and a good provider makes that easy to do...if somebody loses the ability to seperate himself from the experience after the climax then they can start believing it was real...
Or does it really only apply to IRL being stalked?
Some guys post that they like when a prostitute stalks them. But I don't think that's really funny.
I don't want to be stalked by anyone. What so ever, only had one case and the guy backed off after the 10th attempt in contacting me and being ignored. No Thank you!