I had something happen on a recent appointment that made me wonder about how receptive different ladies might be to some pretty specific requests about clothing or footwear.  I had been corresponding with a lady and mentioned that I thought she had great legs in her photos and that the heels she was wearing made them look even better.  She thanked me, and during our appointment, she took special care to wear some great big clear plastic platform heels (I think of them as "stripper heels", because I never see anyone besides strippers and pornstars in them).

I was not exactly thrilled by this, because I typically have an "ehhhhh" reaction to anything that smacks of the stripper stereotype.  Still, she had paid attention to what I said, and done something nice for me, so I was flattered by that.  However, had she worn something like the 4-inch black stilettos with ankle straps that she was wearing in her picture, I'd have really appreciated it a lot more.

I'm not by any means a shoe fetishist -- I know some folks who are, and I respect them, but my head is in a totally different place.  I do however have a strong visual component to what really turns me on, and there are some things that work really well for me, and some that just don't.  As another example, I love thigh-high stockings on a lady with good legs, but fishnets make me think of "Rocky Horror Picture Show", which is not the kind of experience I'm looking for with an escort.

I'm looking for a way to express my preferences to a lady without either coming off as a fetishist interested solely in that specific thing, or as someone who would put her down for wearing something that didn't fit my own likes.  I'd hate to have her expect me to spend an entire appointment fawning over her shoes, since that's really not what I had in mind, but neither do I want to get there and think, "Maybe I should have been a little more specific about what I was looking for, becuase I'm disappointed by what you chose."

Would any providers who happen to still be reading this actually be bothered by someone who asked you before an appointment for a specific sort of look, and mentioned what he thought were the important parts of that look, providing links to a few pictures that might give an idea of what he means?  I certainly wouldn't expect a lady to go out and buy a specific item just for one session, but my understanding is that most ladies are reasonably well supplied with different types of shoes, for example, and stockings are not that difficult to come by.

I actually ask my friends if they have requests for attire.  I don't find these requests any more inappropriate than letting me know that you would like chamomile tea for your visit.  General requests are easy - a red dress, heels, etc.  However, 4" stilettos with an ankle strap?  Sorry, you are out of luck.  If you see an item you like on a ladies site, ask if she still owns it and would mind wearing it for you.

IF your requests are that specific, consider asking the lady for her size and if she is willing to model what you bring.  It's the only way to guarantee you will get what you are envisioning.

Etiquette?  Be willing to leave the special request clothing with the lady.  A nice tip, if you will.

I do appreciate when a guy ask me for a specific look at the time he makes the appointment with me.

I have an array of outfits, legwear, shoes...but there is ALWAYS something specific that a guy wants and turns him on.

There is nothing wrong in saying "by the way, can you please wear black tight highs with 4 inches ankle strap shoes like the one you have in this picture (include the link URL)?"

The lady will know ahead of time and, if she cannot provide, she will tell you.

The reason she had the "fuck me" shoes is because 90% of the men want us to wear them and nothing else in bed.

All I know is those freaking shoes are uncomfortable and I'm always afraid to poke them in the eye or balls with the heels ~~~~~~

I can't see someone getting bent out of shape just as long as you are tasteful and tactful and judging by your post, you probably are.  Just be reasonable based on your location, the time of year and your plans for the evening.  

There are many gentlemen and hopefully providers concerned with standing out like a sore thumb in public.  There is nothing like an outfit from a store like Ann Taylor to assure the rest of the world that you are not trouble.  So, I would probably not wear a pair of "stripper shoes" out to dinner or stumble through a hotel lobby wearing "fuck me shoes", but would be happy to use them for entertainment purposes in private.  

You also might want to purchase the items for the lady in question if she does not have them or if they are expensive or difficult to come by.

Best,

Kate

See, but I have a variety of different likes/dislikes -- I'm cool with lots of different kinds of heels, just not the "fuck me, I'm a stripper" ones.  I'd like to have a way to let her know that, and for us to make sure we're somewhere close to being on the same page, so to speak.

If I were to provide a specific thing for a lady, I'd of course leave it with her; this isn't a bowling alley with rented shoes, after all.  

I guess I'm just wondering if being pretty specific is going to creep anyone out.  I can certainly understand a lady saying "I don't have anything to accommodate that request", and I wouldn't cancel an appointment for that -- I'm just wondering how far is "too far" to go when making requests in the initial back-and-forth.

I recently saw a Lady and asked her to wear that specific outfit that she had on the first time I saw her, she complied, I was enthralled with the look when I entered the room and it made for a perfect morning.

where I said, "If you see something you like on her website just ask her"... that's an easy one.

I own 4" high-heels, no ankle strap.  What I was saying was that if it's specific and not on her site, he should either be prepared for a variation of the request (my no-strap shoes) OR he should bring what he wants to see.

Saying you like the pin-up girl look is one thing, asking for a tiger-striped baby doll with a tie-behind-the-neck strap is another.  While I sometimes go shopping specifically around requested attire, it should not be expected.

That's all!
: )

How do you feel about hair request. For instance, I really like when a lady wears her hair up. Would that sort of request be well recieved?

I appreciate the opinions these ladies have expressed, but I can assure you that there are some providers out there who do mind. I know this because I have met a couple of them. It isn't obvious until you arrive for the appointment and find out you are SOL. My particular fetish is VERY easy to satisfy as it isn't shoes, and I am always certain to ask about it before I even set the appointment up. I only ask escorts who wear the item I am interested in on their site or in ads. One time I had a date with a certain escort who I requested wear the item(she promised but didn't) and I even asked if she had brought it with her at the start of the appointment and she said no. Another hobbyist I know was seeing her the very next appointment after mine(she didn't know I knew) and she wore the outfit for him even though he prefers nothing at all and told her so. So sometimes gamesmanship comes into play and you can just get crapped on. Most escorts are great about it, but there is a percentage out there that don't want to give you what you like. Its like a strange game they play. Repeating with them is out of the question.

I once knew a gynecologist who swore that his greatest fantasy was a fully clothed woman.  Mine?  Whatever makes the lady feel sexy.

I think that's a reasonable request... similar to requests for specific attire.  Speaking for myself, that request would be perfectly fine.  In fact, as long as it's something I have, I PREFER those types of requests.  


-- Modified on 2/8/2006 10:05:59 PM

That lady realized how important it was to you and decided to change her ways.

Been there, done that.

xo Lisa

YOu should come out and ask for exactly what your looking for or you could just make reference to the exact photo your referring to.  mentioning that you really like the "shoes"  she wore and why.  I am sure if you do it this way she will get the hint.


-- Modified on 2/9/2006 9:28:33 AM

I always ask my friends if they have any special requests before our meeting (if it's within my reach and affordable). I also ask what his favorite color is, if he is allergic to perfumes or scented oils, and whether he likes his hair buned with a torch or by candle (just kidding on the last one -- wanted to see if you were paying attention). Wink!

Hugs,
Ciara

You are being sarcastic or not? I was just stating facts. It was mentioned that I did ask her directly about the lingerie at the start of the appointment. The other hobbyist described his preference for her to be wearing nothing at all.
So it would seem she did us both a disservice wouldn't it? Since we inadvertantly found out about each other's visits that day, we have decided she certainly isn't worth our time or our dime. There would have been no problem at all if she had not worn the item for the other hobbyist. That made it seem like a vendetta or something. Providers who play games lose customers quickly and permanently, as they should. That was my point anyway, it wasn't a generality or blanket statement against all providers, far from it. I know that particular provider reads and writes on this very board, she'll see the post and learn from it hopefully.

ps, you are a hottie

I am often asked for specific attire and as best I am able comply.  I actually like dressing to please my client.  If you read some of my reviews here on TER you will find mention that I dressed according their criteria.  - Lia