An overwhelming majority have voted that they would like to do a 3-some with their SO and a provider. I am surprised at this response. Sure most guys would like a 3-way but the way I like to interact with a provider is very different than with my SO. It would be hard for me to enjoy the provider and the whole situation with my SO there. And it might open a door that could make the SO suspicious ("boy you seemed to enjoy that provider alot, honey"). Besides, most providers are younger and more attractive than my SO which seems like another awkward part of this picture. If it was a non-provider it would be a different story. I know I'm in the minority on this but I wonder if the guys who voted yes really thought it through before they voted.

If I did have an SO and she wanted to participate in a 3-way I would assume that she had her own reasons for doing so and leave things at that.  If she enjoyed it then I would probaly try to set up more 3-ways.  If your SO KNOWS that you are going to set up a 3-way with a provider, then she would obviously guess or be aware of the fact that you have seen providers during the past or will be seeing providers during the future, if she agrees to the 3-way and is not forced to participate then that implies some form on acceptance of your activities.

I think that most of the issues you would worry about would already be handled for her to agree to it.  Most of them (jealousy, homo-phobia, self consciousness, trust, etc) need to be handled before ANY threesome.  The only thing a provider adds is the potential stigma associated with the hobby.  But, it can also make it easier to handle jealousy.  It is very unlikely that your going to leave her for a provider so if she looks at in that light, it may help.  I've been barking up the threesome tree for awhile without much luck but what finally broke the ice was this site.  My wife feels more comfortable with a provider and loves being able to search through all the reviews.  I doubt I'll have any complaints once she picks somebody out.  

I think your also looking at it through only your eyes.  Don't forget she may enjoy it as much or even more than you.  Whenever my wife and I go to strip clubs, she has more fun than I do because the dancers are more relaxed with women.

I must say I didn't think it through.  Even if my wife was okay with it (which there is no way in hell she ever would be) the possible complications are too heavy a price.  

Not only that, I have a hard enough time trying to please 1 woman - my wife might get annoyed that I left her to please the provider (vice-versa would be a whole lotta trouble).

It might be wise to treat the question as you would one of those trick questions we asked each other in 6th grade.  e.g. if a rooster laid an egg on the roof, which side would it roll down?  The easy answer is the literal one but the slightly more nuanced answer is one that accepts the premise of the question, i.e. that roosters could lay eggs in some alternate universe.  So when I answered yes to the survey, I presumed that I had an SO who treats sex as something other than a chore (how I wish), would be into a 3-way (not the case in this universe) and that she would also be comfortable with a provider (no way in hell).  Once I got over these hurdles, the answer was easy.

No, nada, eh eh, nein, no f..in way...
not if I wanted to be healthy the next day.

Now, my SO is not a violent, or mean person, it' s just that as with most of us, I think, we are in the hobby because we want different, we want intrigue, we want a bit of excitement that we don't get otherwise.
She doesn't know and would not understand.

Therefore, the idea of even mentioning it has no appeal to me and I would bet it would not appeal to my favorite provider either.

Maybe this should be another thread, but what about sharring a SO with another guy?

how did the survey ever come up so lopsided in favor of 3-ways with your so.

and posits such a HUGE hypothetical (my SO being OK with a 3-way -- no way in this or any other universe!) that it ends up being considered as a realm of fantasy.  If we're merely fantasizing, well then *of course* I'd be interested in a threesome.  The small minority for whom this would actually be a realistic possibility will tend to give much more thought to the potential downsides -- of which there are many.

I did think it through - that was easy, since I've had a number of three-ways that included my SO, and even one four-way (three women and me -- though that was pretty confusing for me!)  I've written reviews on the experiences (though I review under a different handle), and they continue, from time to time.  And by the way, several ladies from this board have been involved!  Guess I'm just lucky!

Paul

-- Modified on 3/28/2004 6:56:34 PM

-- Modified on 3/28/2004 6:58:24 PM