I had a session this afternoon with one of my regulars, who I see every couple of months. Our sessions are always enjoyable, with a combination of sex as well as cuddling and conversation. I enjoy our sessions and I think that the feeling is mutual.  I usually bring flowers or chocolate or a bottle of wine, but this is something I typically do with other providers as well.  Anyway, during a break in our session today she asked me whether I wanted to go to a concert with her tonight, specifying that it would be on her dime.  I'm pretty sure that this wasn't just teasing or banter. I travel a lot for work and when I mention upcoming trips she has sometimes joked that I should bring her along to carry my suitcase, but this has always been obvious banter.  But today's suggestion seemed serious.  Anyway, I didn't respond, which I guess she took as a no. And there was no further mention and we had our usual nice session.  I didn't think too much of it at the time, but afterwards I felt sort of wierd.  She is a mature provider; probably only about 15 years younger than me so we wouldn't stand out if we were seen together, but I'm not looking for a relationship and am very careful about keeping my hobby life private.  

If you aren't interested, then you aren't interested and she "should" accept that.  

Why is it when a provider asks a client out that they automatically think she is falling for them

What's wrong with figuring out how you feel about spending time with her outside of the session.  Spending time together does not mean it's a committed relationship.  I have meals with providers many times and have gone to concerts, games, and to the beach with providers I'm quite fond of but I don't think either of us were thinking relationship; more like we like each other's company outside the traditional p4p.    

...and have dicks like John Holmes.

I never suggested that she is falling for me. Just that I want to maintain privacy.

Thanks. I hadn't thought about it that way.  I'm not comfortable seeing her ( or any other provider) in public, but yes, I guess maybe I should explain this to her in a friendly way.

you did not say if you have a SO in real life. If yes, not taking her up on the offer is understandable. If no, you missed a chance at friendship.

And now that I understand this is really about your privacy, which make infinite good sense to be concerned about, then I think she will really appreciate you mentioning that as it's certainly nothing personal and she may be relieved to hear that.  This has all's well that ends well written all over it... good luck

out of the ordinary for her to ask IF she's been a regular for a 2-3 yrs.

I really don't see what the big deal is or why you are afraid of taking her offer.
Just go out with her and have a good time and stop worrying about it.

Just a few weeks ago, I found out that my BFF would be unable to attend a few concerts we'd planned on seeing together.

We must conclude that, that is the case with you and you know who

In your replies here to me and below to Joe Christmas we get more info. I didn't realize tgat privacy was an issue for you. Of course it is a very valid issue. In that case you should have just told her the truth. You can't really be seen in public with her. Just ignoring her or not answering at all was a little rude, and talking about not seeing her again because she asked you out once is kind of extreme. At this point I would just keep seeing her as you have been, and don't bring up the subject, but if she has a similar invite in the future, tell her the truth. My guess is since you didn't answer last time there probably won't be a future invite, but who knows

I've had a fair number of personal relationships with providers that have ranged the gamut.  Sometimes, it's just good friendly occasional hangouts; sometimes it's been real love affairs and everything in between.  It sounds like you have a sufficiently good "work" relationship with her to speak candidly with her.  She what she wants as to this "outside" relationship and if it works for you, why not, unless you are married or otherwise involved with a SO.

It's not a big deal. Don't overthink it. I might go if I knew her well enough, but then again, I'm not married and don't care who sees me.

Believe it or not, sometimes a lady, as a thank you for being a favorite, will give you a gift. One of the early things I had to learn in the hobby was how to accept such a gift. Crazy as it might sound, I sort of have some ethics in the hobby, so it was hard to lose the guilt. But lose it I did, and I'm better at accepting now. Did you ever think this might be a gift, rather than an a relationship offer? It's probably too late, but I would have gone, and thought nothing of it. Unless you're a pubic figure, easily recognizable, she didn't cross any privacy lines.

She probably got the hint anyway. She's a grown woman she'll be fine. My advice is to see her again and it probably won't come up again.

Sounds like she is comfortable with you, but you were not comfortable with her, so you did the correct thing. If you want to be invited again in the future just let her know you were surprised by her offer and were unsure what to do. I am sure she will understand. But don’t expect anything more than a night out and you won’t get in trouble

my dick doesn't look at all like John Holmes. It kind of looks like George Bu$h but not such a stupid grin.

Sounds like she took the hint very well and moved on. But if something makes you feel uncomfortable, just tell her nicely and I'm sure she'll stop. Just explain exactly what you said here. No big deal. Why give up something good just to save a five minute awkward conversation?

U, If I ever get back east, I would love to have a five minute awkward conversations with you and then we could fuck like rabbits for the next 85 minutes....