One reason why men come to see us is because it's good clean fun.  Other times it's because of some personal misfortune or tragedy.   I always wondered if Christopher Reeve's wife had a boyfriend because he could no longer satisfy one of her basic needs? Did they talk about it?   Or maybe she just lost interest in sex herself.  My point is that sometimes we provide an invaluable service keeping a marriage alive.

I'm sure everyone has stories.  I used to have a regular client who saw me because his wife wouldn't have sex with him after she gave birth to their child.  He loved her and didn't want to leave her, but he had a basic human need for sex.  Knowing that I kept a family together made me feel really good about being in this business; regardless of moral judgments made by others.

Do any of my colleagues have an interesting story to tell?  Any gentlemen with any stories are invited to weigh in with their thoughts or experiences.

-- Modified on 3/7/2013 6:14:05 PM

Deciding to become an escort has been the best choice I've made in my life thus far. It's given me all the things I've ever craved as far as work goes- liking what I do, being my own boss, making my own schedule, traveling every so often, being able to work with people, financially satisfied, as well as being able to provide a valuable service without feeling like I'm betraying people.

Before I became an escort I had a hard time financially and was afraid I'd either have roomates for life or need to depend on a man for financial support in able to make it. It's very hard to live off of one income in this day and age- even when I was working in corporate america at 40k a year, I ended up drowining in a huge pool of debt. To get out of the mess I made I cut back so many different areas, I was carless for 2 years, shared living arrangements, never ate out, didn't buy new things from department stores, and basically lived a very simple penny pinching frugal life. It was so depressing.

Escorting gave me the satisfaction I craved from a job but never got. The closest I found was when I was waitressing but I hated working nights and weekends. I enjoyed being looked at when I was a cocktail waitress in a nightclub but the hours were killing me. So I did some naked house cleaning and it opened up a whole new world to me..

Fast forward about 2 years later and I've never been happier. I own my 2013 car outright, have a beautiful place all to myself roomate free, I help out other girls that are trying to get into the biz, and do everything I've always dreamed of. I'm so fortunate I have to pinch myself every so often to make sure it's not a dream. I'm out of the 40k of debt I created by the time I was 22, and I owe it all to escorting. Everyday that I have an appointment or am set to work I get excited and look forward to it. That's the real reward! I just wish I could do it forever.

The downside to it was my ex boyfriend and some other people finding out- but I dont live in secrecy anymore and people need to either accept it or not..so I'm as happy as a pig in shit nowadays

This lady I knew escorted only to get through school.
She's now retired from the hobby and finished with her doctorate.

The main reason why I helped her was because she wasn't materialistic.
She didn't care for the high end shoes, nice clothes, purses, and jewelry.
She had a great attitude and wasn't a time pincher.

She was more interested in developing relationships rather than getting clients in and out.
And since she took such good care of me, I returned the favor by paying for a year's tuition.
At first, she couldn't believe it and would not accept such a generous offering.
I insisted that she should take it and she expressed her gratitude so many times..

We still keep in touch and she's happier than ever with her career and is still thankful for my help.
I'm embarrassed to say that she's now better off than I am career-wise.
I'm very proud of her.

I guess your story helps me to perpetuate the hope that all of my regular providers share your perspective.  I could never, ever knowingly pay a women for sex who was doing it out of financial desperation and hating the experiences or even much worse, due to being exploited by another person or entity (traficking).

I hobby in two distinct geographic locations, and the location where I have my primary home (but where I spend the minority of my time) is much, much different from the DC area in terms of the hobbying experience.  I am certain - and I mean certain - that my three ATFs in the DC area share your perspective, it is a lifestyle choice they have made and enjoy, and they will walk away when that is no longer the case.  They are all three exceedingly intelligent and well-adjusted people and have other options.  

The other area where I hobby?  What a fucking nightmare finding even one provider with whom I can establish a good hobbyist-provider relationship.  Two of the last four girls have broken down in tears nearly convulsing while undressing (paid them, asked them to leave without touching them), another was wearing a LE bracelet living in low income housing with her toffler sleeping in the only bedroom (she wanted to fuck on the world's most gross couch) and went back to providing out of financial desperation (I tried - she was cute as hell and quite determined to show a good time - I couldn't overcome the conditions) and the fourth fits your model more closely but has an issue showing up sober and/or getting too deep into her partying to show up at all.  

I have been quite fortunate to find those three who are either DC local or regular visitors who share your passion for the profession, it makes such a huge difference to the experience from my perspective.  I have all but given up on hobbying in the other area (just outside a state capitol, at that, you would think it wouldn't be so fucking hard!!), I just can't be comfortable feeling like I am contributing to someone's misery in any way even if....in a twisted kinda way I guess I would be helping alleviate the situation financially while contributing to her depression.  Just can't go there and enjoy that at all.

I have been doing this a long time.  I find myself utilizing my degree in social science often.  I truly love what I do.  It isnt just exciting and fun, very rewarding as well.  I couldnt think of a better career field I would rather be in.

I wish that the general public had access to stories like these to understand better what role escorts play in our society. It is not all negative, like the "hooker/john busts" on the 6 PM news. For every broken marriage there is a marriage saved. Single moms are able to provide a quality of life for their children. Women are able to get an education and become productive members of society. (My ATF ~ 12 years did it to pay her tuition at a well-known Law School - she became a successful attorney).
I think most of us "hobbyists" appreciate you ladies for more than just the great physical enjoyment you bring to the table. IMHO

I don't buy the savig a marriage thing. I can only speak for myself as other hobbyist may disagree. I only got into this as my marriage was already ending, it was not just sexually related issues but was instead many other things as well.

I was not deluded that this lifestyle was going to save my marriage, because no matter how you look at it, it's cheating. That is not something I am proud of, this is my second marriage but the first time I ever stepped outside of it for anything. Things are more complicated now than it was for my first divorce. The state I live in requires certain things be met to grant a divorce if you have children, the process is lengthy...and costly.

My marriage is effectively over, but unless I want to really lose my ass by just walking away, I have to go through this process.

I am glad you are at peace with it and enjoy your job, without the satisfaction of what you do I can see how this job for a provider could be disheartening.

Again this is only from my personal experience.

If I had gotten into this 3 years ago it would not have saved my marriage. In my opinion sex is not the only thing that can kill it, therefore not the only thing that can save it.

MM

You make an interesting point and I partially agree.  But the main thing to keep in mind is we are all different.  I'll admit it's probably a minority, but there are some couples that play in this game together and it does help their marriage.  There are others where one or the other partner does not play but knows and accepts what the other does.  That said, I believe in most cases it's done on the sly or the wife looks the other way.
In my case, I've had two periods where I've done this, and both were after a marriage that broke up.  I don't believe in cheating and never have, but I don't look down on what others do.
Interestingly, in the case of my last marriage, knowing what my ex and I know about each other's sexual needs, it's remotely possible that seeing providers together might have actually kept the marriage together.  Not likely, but possible.
As for the ladies commenting here, you are one reason why I love playing this game.

Dana Reeve was a goddess who was practically worshiped by everyone who knew her.

I met Chris at a party after the first Superman opened, and again after he did "The Cherry Orchard" in Williamstown MA. It was actually a funny story, because I had a number of friends who were involved in theater back in those days. One of my friends took me to a party in NYC that Chris was at, and I actually spent quite a bit of time talking to him. A couple of years later, another friend who was involved in local (MA) theater took me to the cast party after Cherry Orchard, very excited that he was going to introduce me to Christopher Reeve (so I didn't say anything). We saw him across the room, so my friend is leading me towards him, and when we got close enough, Chris looked up and said "Hey, Dave, how have you been?" My friend was devastated

After Chris had his accident, I had the opportunity to work with him as a caregiver, but situations in my life at the time made it impossible. I have always regretted that, he was an incredible guy. But I did get to meet everybody, and I did stay in touch from time to time, particularly with Dana, I was able to help her out occasionally with computer stuff, and referring other caregivers to her. So anyway, the point of my long boring story is that no, Dana did NOT have a boyfriend. She was in love with Chris, and her life was far too hectic and demanding for her to be stepping out in any kind of relationship. I have no doubt that she just took care of her own desires by herself, as needed. As beautiful as she was, she was not really "sexy" - I mean, she didn't flirt or wear provocative clothing or project the air of a horny or needy woman, she was the rock in the center of the room who kept the peace and made things happen.

Those two got a shit deal in life and neither one of them ever complained for a second. I've never known a couple like them, and I'll never forget them.

I was going to stay out of this conversation since I have never been married. A lot of people justify their so called "cheating" by blaming it on lack of intimacy, affection and sex. However, they don't realize that what they are calling cheating just the way of life..

Men and Women were never intended to be monogamous creatures. Wanting to have sex with multiple people is just as natural as wanting to have Chinese one day and Steak another day. I bet you, that your shrimp wouldn't be upset at your cow, and if we understand the human psyche and needs, there is no reason for any woman or man to be upset at their partner for having sex with someone else. And there is no reason to be upset with your own self either..

I know many of my friends are married & their SO's will not provide kinky fun.  They feel it is gross, or they think they will hurt him by preforming some of the naughty activities I cater too!

No disrespect to the ladies here. Infact I love the ladies here. I see your point as well. If both  husband and wife  agree and choose to see a provider is a different story and I can see how that could keep a marriage happy sexually.

As far as saving a marriage when a man goes behind his wifes back is something entirely different.  Now if you go into a marriage saying every now and then I'm okay with you stepping outside for some strange I just don't want to know about it, then that's agreed upon and allows for a noncheating marriage.

MM

When I Started this many years ago I was in a very unhappy marriage myself...(this is why most times I understand this from the guys side)...we were lacking the physical fun and I longed to have the fun brought back into my life! This was as much a hobby for me as to why the gents come looking!!

When I stumbled into this little world I found a place that I could not only have my fun, but get paid to do it!!!  It became the best of both worlds...I could live my fantasies out with others and not feel the pressure of a relationship I wasn't interested in having!
I left Corporate America (making six figures) since this had become so much more than to me...I left the stress of normal life to play here instead!  I know I can go back when the time is right and I'm ready to be "normal" again...maybe in my old days...lol!!

Over the years this has allowed me the opportunity to meet wonderful men I would never have had the chance to meet and become friends with!  
I have been able to take time off and focus on my personal world as needed and still see friends UTR.
I can step back when I forget the fun and refocus to come back and play again...if it's not fun why do it??  This has to be fun!!!

I feel this fantasyland saved "me" from being that depressed, unsatisfied woman who longed for that passion and lust!
Instead now I have many "boyfriends" who visit and play with me...best part...they leave...but then when they come back...it's that hot passion again without the strings!!!!
Plus there is something to be said about the "new" that stirs the excitement!!!  There is no better "high" than this!!!!!  

Everyone has a different story as to why they come out to play...but most of us long to be in another's arms for just a moment to feel!

Love,
Pammy

we all have our needs..some are emotional..some physical..some psychological..providers fulfill those needs when we need them fulfilled..that is exactly why we are all here..

I feel the same way. I doubt I am saving anyone's marriage by selling my ass, because had I said no, it would be the next girl with a profile who was fkin the guy. I do this for money, no hidden meaning, no deep seeded psychological issues from the past, no abuse, just plain fast money that is getting me to the next step in my life, which is a stable one. Whether we realize it or not, we are STILL depending on men to make money here. If they don't call, you don't make money, so I don't see how this is any better/different than having one man to depend on.

Add to that, it's lonely if you are the type of person who can't date whilst doing this. I don't buy that sex is what keeps marriages together, because if that were the case guys would marry women who never stopped fkin them. It's not the sex, it is DIFFERENT sex, with tons of women, they can't get for free in most cases. I have yet to hear of a man ONLY see ONE provider lol.

If CR's wife did not go out and fk someone else, it's probably because she put his needs BEFORE her own. Wow...shocking.

Sorry, but when you've heard the same bs lines for years, you get a reality check and I don't buy that most men escort to "save their marriages." Plenty of men and women don't have to cheat to fill that void...they do other things.

If sex with prostitutes truly is the ONLY thing keeping your marriage together, you might want to talk to a therapist about that, because that in and of itself sounds a bit off. Rarely is just sex the dividing factor in marriages...it usually stems from something else. How many men here have said they have a gorgeous wife at home who fks them, but they still see escorts? Quite a few, and I don't judge or condemn, but get real.

-- Modified on 3/8/2013 11:39:40 AM

Nope, because you keep it real. I think far too many people are deluded and have to convince themselves of the "greater good" they think is being done, when in reality it's just a fk in most cases. Not that there is anything wrong with that, and I prefer it that way, but goodness.

Amazing, and that is how it should be. She was a real woman, and he was a fkin MAN! I bet if the tables were turned, he would not be cruising for strange ass, either. I think too many people confuse "needs" with "wants" and many more buy into that bs. Not me...save it!

I can so relate to this even though I'm not an escort but an Erotic Masseuse !

I think you will find the majority of us, are also here for those very reasons. Hey, can you pay back my student loans lol. JK!

Shit, my GF wants chicken parm every day. I'm fucked, eh? :-P