and I have to say, the talk rarely has lasting or significant effect.

What does work better is time.  When I stop seeing someone that normally I see every few weeks or months, and then see them again after a few months, the improvement is palpable.

Try that instead.

For sure, don't go flush precious $ down a drain you don't even care for.

I have had an ATF for going to 2 years now. She is the description of my fantasy woman in almost every way and allows me to do to her things that my wife wouldn't even dream of. We even share some hobbies and know each other's private lives. Recently however, her performance has begun to deteriorate. She knows how I like things, sure, but she seems to want to repeat the very same steps every time I see and foreplay (BBBJ or massage) has pretty much died away. I like this girl and I don't think there is another even close to her in appearance or personality. However I now feel like I am wasting my money every time I see her and the performance is worse than the last time.
As a pensioner every $ counts. Should I just move on or do I have a chat with her?

it is worth a chat.  Both of you maybe having issues.

Things tend to go stale.  Why not just tell her what you want?  Sounds like it would be worth it.

This is a paid transaction, so she probably looks at you as a paycheck.  And you shouldn't look at her as anything more than a person you pay for sex.  You can like her and you can get along with her, but let's not confuse one thing with another.

And after two years, things tend to change, get comfortable, or die out.

This is really no different.

A few months between appointments can work wonders.  Now, it can also bring out the worst in some providers but, one way or another, you will find out where you stand and if it's worth keeping her as a fave.

I'd say No, unless you are her basketball coach.

not of all of us are long term relationship types. thats why this career works for people whom wander n grow tired of the same.
i have been guilty of turnin down repeat clients to meet the new ones, Theres something about the adrenaline of the totally new person, maybe she s an adrenal junky and gets turned on by the thrill of the new guys. Doesnt make her a bad person. In any event if she s not performing the same clearly she s not enjoying it any longer with you and your sensing it and like wise feeling resentful.
move on, We dont owe each other explanations this is hookers and johns. not match dot com. we all forget that, .
I myself have felt the dread of havn a repeat client over i have already experienced, in that case i by pass the repeat appt and book anew one if i am goin to be bored n suck at the appt, why bother,
she probly just gets hot byt the adrenaline of the new. its been proven we have certain chemicvals released in our brain in the beginning stage of love. it helps you lose weight n gets you hyper. Then theres a second chemical re;leased in our brains during the second stage of love that opposite makes you gain weight. and is a relaxer.  I remebr i seen it on some weird show about chemicals released in the brain during human interaction it was on one those science channels once, or something,
You guys should cool it, sounds lame, .....

So glad you got a pro photographer to do you justice.  Those Aldo Antonio pix are beyond hot!  Hope all's well.

Pay for play was never intended for all you guys make it out to be with your ATF stuff. Just as marriages get complacent, so does this if you make it into a damn relationship. Move on.



-- Modified on 1/8/2013 9:18:12 PM

seem always to deteriorate over time.  I went exclusive with an ATF for a couple of years.  I had to take a break...  in which I found a couple new Favorites.  Nearly a year later I circled back.  She was surprised to see me...  thought I was gone for good.  I now include her in a rotation.
 
The relationship with her has changed...  her service is better & she puts more effort into it...  yet the continueity has changed & she's holding back in some ways...   Can't have it both ways!  I believe the rotation is better.  If one is unavailable, I have choices.

I met my atf a year ago. After our first encounter everyone elso paled in comparison. After 2 cancellations (and an awesome discount on her part) I finally saw her again. Still great but nowhere close to that first encounter.

and expand your hobbying a little bit. Find someone that looks similar and have a great time, it will be very worth it. I'm sure she likes your company, but she loves your money and your ATF knows that she doesn't have to work as hard to impress you.

Another piece of advice...when you schedule your next ATF date, completely take charge. Tell her what you want her to do and what you want her to wear. If you go out on your date, you make the reservations and order the meal.

MM

Here is something for your viewing pleasure.....

not sure what to tell you for the current situation. However, in the future, consider having a few providers in the rotation. I have a couple  of favs instead of just one.  It keeps it fresh since I'm  not continually seeing the same provider all the time.   Yes, it takes a effort to find a few favs, but once you do, you shouldn't have to deal with the issues you're currently facing.  And if you find the performance slipping, it's NBD, just stop seeing her and go see the other favs. Easy Peasy

Is that you need to realize that you are probably not her ATF, and she's been taking your business for granted. I am sure some girls have an ATF, and when they see that guy they bring it every time. If she's slacking off, you are foolish to continue.
Also, the hobby is no place for "chats". Who needs that  nonsense.
Take your dollars elsewhere, you'll have more fun, and if you decide to see her down the line, I'll bet she makes an effort to keep your business.

She is your ATF but you may not be hers. There might be something you are doing, maybe inserting yourself a little too much into her life, maybe pushing some boundaries.

The guys saying not to bother with a "chat" are right and that is from her perspective also...that rarely goes well with a chat from escort to hobbyist about his demands or behavior.

Unfortunately, this is something that we can't figure out for you, as we are hearing one side of this. She might also have her POV that is different to yours.

If she is not satisfying you, then move on...it might be what she is hoping you do.

-- Modified on 1/9/2013 7:22:15 AM

If I were in her shoes, and I hope it never comes to that, I would hope that the person I was with would come to me and talk about it.

Communication is very important. Who knows, you might decide to keep going with some improvements or decide to both move on.

Whatever you decide, good luck.

I think it is inevitable that the relationship deteriorates. By definition an ATF is someone you desire above others. Whether pro or civvilian, women sense this and respond by taking you for granted. It is why there is a hobby in the first place. But the illusion is powerful and I have certainly succumbed more than once.  As hard as it is, you sooner or later have to accept that and move on.