I know this topic has been visited before but when is it a appropriate amount of time passed when you stop asking the same provider for references? I feel for me is like a month especially if you're one of those hobbyists who is very active & can use the most recent provider they've seen unless you're a regular then I would anytime..  

Tell him " I do not mind referring you, but since I have already referred you X # of times, would you like to schedule another date with me?

I don't know what the "right" amount of time is to use as a cut-off date.  I'd say six months.  But to use it as a way to press for another date is REALLY bad form.  If anyone did that to me I'd not only go elsewhere for a reference but never see them again.

I've never been one to beat around the bush (ba dum tshhhh) and I think sometimes a person just has to have the "friend sit down" moment. Now, he could be using you as a reference from "way back when" to attest to his continuing good behavior; however, I'm intrigued as to why he isn't using other providers as a reference. Did something negative happen? I just typed out below something to say... again, I can come off a bit strong. Personally, I will not send an email out until 24 hours later so I can alter the tone if needed.  

6 months or so is the right cut-off time frame. Especially for an infrequent hobby guy. These days, I do this maybe once a month or so, thus my references tend to be a bit older.  

Six months is my cut-off.  Like Gemma said, it can seem a bit weird when a client keeps asking for a reference although he has seen other ladies in the interim - but I would never suggest a "refresher" date!

This is definitely an ongoing topic on Twitter. I know many providers who have their own style of doing references. Some will only serve as a reference "x" amount of times. Others are time based. I will not vouch for someone if it's been over 8 months for sure. Six (6) i pushing it. A few providers charge for references. That's been the hot topic of debate. And some will only use a reference network. Meaning, they only take references from providers they know personally and will only give them to those they know personally.  

... hit up the same gals several times over the course of many months and they were all cordial and accommodating. I think it depends a lot on the parties involved and the type of relationship that they have and the circumstances involved. In other words - there is no cut off time and each provider can apply her rules on a case by case basis.

I have had some guys use me as a reference that I hadn't seen in 6 months or longer.. I've had one or two use me as a reference and I hadn't seen them in close to a year! I will tell the provider looking for the reference that I've seen them (and that is all some are looking for I guess) BUT I will also let them know it's been a significant amount of time since I've seen them last and that I really can't give them a real reference. Personally, I would never take a reference over a few months old. To each their own though.

-- Modified on 3/29/2017 7:07:28 AM

in the "voluntary" reference system we have now. Have a policy clearly stated... good!

This way the lady has a better recollection.  This was also the primary reason I opted to use a verification site.  Makes life much easier for everyone.

what your policy is:  Example . . . . .

I honestly have just given references when asked without thinking about how long ago I saw a guy. But people on here have great points, a lot can change over time and it's probably best to have like a six month cut off.

I think this is one of the more serious problems with having to produce a reference from a gal-especially if it is in the same market she works in.   It is perceived as taking business from the gal you are asking the referral from so you can spend your money with another gal that you could have spent with her.......Oh well......that's the way it is !

I am not really sure how germane it is to your argument how many girls he has seen since you, or how that plays into your logic here. If he saw zero or just one, somehow doing him a solid is easier for you?

if someone cut me off for references after 6 months.  I almost always have to travel somewhere else to see someone and even then they are "visiting", so based on schedule, travel time, etc., etc., I have a hard time seeing good reputable providers.  With that said, many of my references are from "older" encounters due to all of the above.  

The next time he asks for a reference, just claim it's been so long since she's seen him, she really can't remember any of the details after this long and that she just doesn't feel comfortable giving out references after the "x month" period.  

the request is from a known (to me) and reputable provider.  

Apparently, you HAD been his go-to reference. Always reliable and his other dates went through, so why wouldn't he continue to use you as a ref?

some contact all of your OK's, some contact a few most recent OK's. Those reference contacts can often happen without your direct knowledge, "behind the scenes". There is no single process that works for every provider.

Any given provider should feel free to use whatever policy or judgment with respect to references. I can understand that it would be annoying to keep giving references for a guy who hasn't seen you for a while and maybe only saw you once. I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to stop giving references for someone you haven't seen in months, though maybe it would be better to give the reference but also mention that you haven't seen that guy in months.

Rather than from all the BP,  
$40-special, providers they normally see.  
Sucks to be famous, huh?

-- Modified on 3/29/2017 12:50:45 PM

This is the main reason why I went to P411, not that it was a huge problem, but some ladies simply aren't hospitable enough to respond back in a timely manner if at all.  From my time hobbying when I used provider references as verification it was like rolling the dice when sending ladies reference information.  

Either give a reference or don't/it is up to the provider.  

I'd venture to say that unless the client does something totally off-putting such as horrible B/O, rude, overly physical/aggressive, that he will at least be lumped in the category of "he was okay."  Anything more that that I am sure would warrant him a spot on the blacklist.  

I don't know what's hotter, your body or your attitude.

When I started  I asked providers when I left if I could use as a reference  
In most cases the answer was "of course but not continuously without coming back"
I personally feel that if you have given him four or five references in even a moth and he has not returned would be appropriate to send him a " I enjoyed my time with you and would like to see you again and would love to see you again before anymore referrals are given. "  
On the other hand if you have seen him and it is under six months and is the first or second time to  use you feel that if you can verify that he was OK should verify him.
I recently saw you and if I use you as a reference  five months from now I would expect a positive response.
If not would not even consider seeing you again. Again this is one referall not many.

he already meet other ladies after you.. so he can use them as references. I am starting to give one or 2 references, bu the third one, I tell them to pick an item from my amazon wishlist first.  
Also, I am only giving references for 6 months, after that they can come back and see me again.  

is appreciation. If I meet XYZ client less than 6 months, I give reference for him 2 -3-4times...  it would be nice from  XYZ client to sent a small token of appreciation for my efforts.  

And I can put whatever I want here even if I write EOM And what were your doing reading the body when EOM is in the subject anyhow?

This is the world of quid pro quo. I have even been asked to write reviews (though never had pressure on me to write a good one) and I have never denied that request. It would be naive to think that those reviews to not hep promote the provider's business, and for great providers (the ones I have gladly reviewed) I am happy to do it as I want them to have a lot of business, and I want to vouch for them to my fellow hobbyists.

Has the great and powerful, the almighty and the overly pompous Jack Dunphy FINALLY fallen for his hooker? Can you get up Jack? Do you need help? Will you console yourself as you have guided many of the love sick manginas here over the years? This is a sign of the coming apocalypse. Say it aint so Jack!

Providers use references as a safety/screening tool.  Which means we ask for them, and we give them too.  

references are given much more so for YOUR safety than as a "courtesy to the client"  

Mia is one fine looking woman. She should be the poster girl for "Ass Lovers Monthly." LOL

looking records is out of that period of time.  
And.. I do have clients that have sent me a gift as appreciation. Nothing wrong with that.

a good review on Yelp or TripAdvisor? Not identical, but similar to a reference request.

is some truth to that in that a reference from a well-known lady and well respected lady will go further than a new lady or a touring lady to your local area.

Expecting it makes you look like an entitled.......You can feel free to finish my sentence any way you like.

and yes, you are right. Im not in this looking for a husband. It's a job.  

don't read too much in what I  haven't say.

It's true that smart girls are happy to provide a reference but some do get jealous.  I agree it's dumb.  But there are a lot of stupid people in this world.

regarding the granting of OKs and being responsive when another member checks on an OK.  It is definitely NOT voluntary.  I haven't checked lately on the status of the rules today but that's the way it used to be.

They say "no worries! anytime!"

Ok so I've gone back and forth on this in my mind during the course of reading this thread... But honestly, it makes no sense to count how long it's been... if you've seen him and he's good just give him a damn reference. No need to worry about any of this other stuff lol. ESPECIALLY if he gave a review.

Not every lady has the same standards as far as who they meet. What is safe and comfortable for one lady, its not for another.  

but if a lady doesn't want to give a ok to the gentleman, we contact p411 and explain the reason why.

So ladies cant complaint about being a reference SEVERAL times!?  
Exacly, it's about 10-15 seconds... several times.  
What about courtesy from the clients?

Aren't a "voluntary " thing anymore. It seems that it's a requirement from frequent members in this board.

-- Modified on 3/29/2017 3:17:25 PM

YOU are the one being PAID. WE are the payer. It isn't exactly a level playing field and nor should it be. You make more than my attorney per hour so sliding someone 15 seconds here and there seems like a no brainer. That doesn't mean we can treat you like dirt, but making a mountain out of something so mole hill-ish doesn't seem to make good business sense. I wouldn't see you either. Arguing this point to death doesn't seem to help your cause but I have to pay for pussy so what do I know?

The Mick will soon stick the spic with his tiny dick. Ha!

If the tables were turned, and there was a guy who wanted to donate his money to see you and he was a great guy, would you want the providers you called to refuse to give a good reference? You would be the one losing out on the client and his money.

The issue is being used for references several times, even tho you meet with new ladies that can give you fresh and current references. The question is... why the gentleman would not give current references!? Because they didn't behave in a proper way?! Because the ladies dont have good reputation? Who knows.

thank you  
mutual respect it's the key.

And Gina does a good job of making sure clients and escorts get a fair shake.

...He said give the reference even if it's more than 6 months since you saw the client. He stated a case for clients that don't see providers very often. You have already said you won't go beyond 6 months. He did mention respect and you agreed with that. But that doesn't meet the criteria for completely agreeing with him.

As usual you're on point... Thanks GaGa!!!  

Basically you can make up your own rules.  Just be polite but assertive.  

and I agree with the mutual respect... and yes, If I meet a client more than 6 months... I  have responded  in the past to those request (You would not know, or will know)  
 regardless, letting the lady know that it's been more than 6 months I haven't see him.. or 7 or 8, or a year.  

It takes more than 10-15 seconds to give a valid reference. Maybe Ms Veronica who's a hot and sassy lady took it to an extreme but I can tell you it can get time consuming.  

in this general board guys are quick to judge if the situation is not to their convenience... I had give references with more than 6 months, theres many gentleman that don't see ladies frequently, and I may be the only lady he meet in MONTHS... I have no issue giving a reference and letting the lady I meet him with that period of time....  
But when a guy gives my name, over, and over, and over again... and he already meet 5-7 ladies after me... why he keep giving my name? (it happen to me in the past, and when I asked him he said.. because you are the only one that respond within minutes! other ladies take days).  

Posted By: MatureGFE

It takes more than 10-15 seconds to give a valid reference. Maybe Ms Veronica who's a hot and sassy lady too it to an extreme but I can tell you it can get time consuming.  
   
 Now me, I give refs to my gents up to a year+ because I rarely forget someone and I really don't see many guys now but get mostly extended dates so it's all good. When it's been more than a year I do let the lady know long it's been since I saw the guy so she can take it into account. But that's just me. I have a lot of free time but if I were seeing guys like I used to, it would get a little annoying if the same guy kept using me as a ref over and over an over and never booked with me again.  
   
 The worst I've ever ad was a guy who I hadn't seen in 7-8 YEARS contacting me to see if he could use me as a ref. I said "really"? And ten said you'll have to refresh my memory BCD 'cause it's een WAY too long, lol.  
   
 Cut Ms hottie Veronica a little slack before throwing down the DNS gauntlet!  
   
 Steph xoxo

I think some here got their dander up about you saying something about thinking guys who constantly ask for references from you should give you a little something in return. I feel you on this, however as soon as I read that I thought to myself, she's going to catch it for saying that.

Maybe he has tried using more recent providers as references, and gotten feedback that they won't respond to reference requests. It wouldn't surprise me if the less expensive providers were also less likely to give references.

Along with you gifting me VIP credits via ter when I had to go get a gift card to renew... Memorable moments...  

should, it's a nice thing...  
Is not like I have a "reference package" like some ladies do.. LOL ... people read what they want to read.  

Posted By: MatureGFE

I think some here got their dander up about you saying something about thinking guys who constantly ask for references from you should give you a little something in return. I feel you on this, however as soon as I read that I thought to myself, she's going to catch it for saying that.  
   
 Best to maybe amend that or not dig in anymore. I still think you are muy caliente sassy gal!  
   
 Steph xoxo

I got a email from a newbie massage lady asking about a guy. All she had was his (new) cell number and a first name. Later I found out I knew him from over 4 years ago and I had only seen him once. To be fair, I did give the girl a reference but explained that I hadn't seen him in x-time but once. Yes I would see him again. I do not know what he has done in this time frame or if anything changed. This was for an out of state guy.

Posted By: MatureGFE

It takes more than 10-15 seconds to give a valid reference. Maybe Ms Veronica who's a hot and sassy lady too it to an extreme but I can tell you it can get time consuming.  
   
 Now me, I give refs to my gents up to a year+ because I rarely forget someone and I really don't see many guys now but get mostly extended dates so it's all good. When it's been more than a year I do let the lady know long it's been since I saw the guy so she can take it into account. But that's just me. I have a lot of free time but if I were seeing guys like I used to, it would get a little annoying if the same guy kept using me as a ref over and over an over and never booked with me again.  
   
 The worst I've ever ad was a guy who I hadn't seen in 7-8 YEARS contacting me to see if he could use me as a ref. I said "really"? And ten said you'll have to refresh my memory BCD 'cause it's een WAY too long, lol.  
   
 Cut Ms hottie Veronica a little slack before throwing down the DNS gauntlet!  
   
 Steph xoxo

That would be a marvelous idea (hint).

Would it make more sense? Yes and no. Yes, both because providers you've seen more recently have a fresher memory of you and because they're more likely to view you as a potential repeat customer. Or at least that's my assumption.

She has already heard that more than just a couple of guys have taken her off of their "to do list" after this.

No-No credit-it is what it is.........Believe whatever floats your canoe !!

When I ask for references I ask for the most recent providers that person has seen especially if he's an active hobbyists, not someone he's 3-4-5 months passed.. This is the p4p world I would never get jelly cause a client I've seen once go see another provider.. Not even an ATF ... I would rather my ATF reference me then not get any fun out & about!!!  

And getting back to the original question about time frames, start getting out the 4 - 6 months and people can change so is there's not been any repeat by the John how could a provider really give a safe reference? For all she knows the guys wife just found out, filed for divorce and is getting the house, the cars, dog, all the money and now he's living in a shoe box and is blaming the escorts for his current lot in life.

The OP complained that it had been 4 months, and my response was (even) 6 months wasn't too long. I picked 6 because a lot of providers ask for "recent" references (last 6 months). I agree with you that if the provider remembers you that more than six months shouldn't be a problem, but think about how many client's she sees and how many reviews are written. I'd hate to put a girl in the position of saying "yeah, I think he was ok" based on a fuzzy memory of a 1-hour appointment.

She expects to be compensated for references. How did you miss that part? That is part of the "attitude" I referred to and why she was placed on my DNS.

I saw a Chicago fella once and for months and months after he used me as a reference like once or twice a week!! (He was a trust fund baby with a lot of money and time) In the end I had to email and point out politely that if he'd seen these dozens of ladies since seeing me months before, could he please use one of them a special a reference so I could have a break?
 😂😂

I didn't read everything, but here is my policy
I usually email my providers to apologize for the number of references they are getting and to thank them because I am always successfully verified. They usually say they aren't getting that many email requests from me (lol) or they say no problem.

Glad you finally saw the light. It took you long enough! LOL

If you guys have been meeting with each other for over 4 months, Why are you still requiring a reference? Not to sound harsh but just wondering. If I continue to see someone for more than 2 months , by then I would imagine I am completely comfortable with them. I would imagine that client more needing of my references versus there's Especially when (from my own experience) most other providers just say " He's ok".

Reviews are only written once, whereas references can be requested over and over again. And potential clients take older reviews less seriously, so they're not of as much use to a provider as fresh references are to a client.

That happens all the time to me too. My rule now is if I haven't seen you in the past 6 months I won't verify anymore. I have guys that I haven't seen but one time in over two years still trying to use me as a reference. .. sketchy if you ask me...they should use their recently seen girls I agree...

While it may take more than a 1/4 of minute, it doesn't take that much more. If she loved this occupation and cherished her men, she would overlook a faux pas here or there. To me, attitude carries at least as much importance as looks, for if a lady would act this way here on this board, and make such a fuss about referrals, I would hate to see how she would act with me privately. My money is too valuable to risk it on a woman like her.

Hey Gemma,  

If a customer hadn't request multiple references I don't see why a few should matter, especially for low hobbiers like myself. My real additional question is why would the person seeking the reference mind if it was even 12 months old or older? Are people worried that the client has changed in that time? Am I being to naive thinking that if someone is safe today they should be safe in a year?

I would pass as well, and your reasoning is not only sound but very well stated. I don't understand why Veronica has chosen to argue with so many in this thread over something so inane. God gave us two ears and one mouth. Was that due to the possibility he wanted us to listen twice as much as talk?

That is to say, that a reference from a  well-known & established provider has more credibility than the word of someone who's been around a short period of time and/or has only a few reviews.  

Why did you post this here?  This should be on a providers only board so instead of getting roasted every time you attack clients, you would just get good common sense advice, which is:

I'm thinking she didn't mean she was going to start literally asking to be compensated for giving references, although I've heard of some that do. I'm *hoping*  Veronica was kinda thinking out loud. Who knows what kind of day she had. I can't really speak for her, but I just don't think she made some cardinal sin, more of a uh oh.  

I know... somehow this ended up in the wrong place in the thread.   My apologies... it had nothing to do with your post.

yes, but one review take a lot more time than a series of references, so that point is very unconvincing to me.

I usually give the reference.  

From a customer you have seen before. There should be no issues giving a reference regardless when the guy saw you. It seems that some providers like to use giving a reference as candy to get the customer to come back to see them again.  Remember it is about your safety and the other providers safety.  Let the other provider determine if she will accept it or not (if it is not current enough).  

I used to take an hour to write reviews, but now I'm down to like 20 minutes. Only a few providers have specifically requested reviews. Those that have, yes, I would expect them to reciprocate concerning references. But bear in mind that they don't directly benefit from references like we do reviews, in the form of VIP days.  

Hope things are fabulous!!!!

there is a local lady who charges for references imo...that is tacky.Much rather someone say they are not reference friendly than to charge for a reference.But hey every lady does what she wants when it comes to running her business.
I get used alot for references sometimes I have only seen the guy once in a year I don't mind providing a reference but after 5+ times it gets to be redundant.
Even after I have given many references for one guy he still uses me almost two years later.I never said anything to him but I do tell the references I only saw him once two years ago and she can decide if she wants to take the reference or ask for a more recent one.

-- Modified on 3/29/2017 10:51:39 PM

I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt that you maybe didn't realize that referring to a Latina woman as a "s**c" is insanely racist. In fact, I'm earnestly hoping that it was a typo or something. Holy shit, dude.

I am called a "chink" here on a regular basis, and as long as it's said "with a smile" I hardly get upset over it.  

You said "oven," Wu.
Cocksukka!

and still other times I said "microwave oven"  

I don't like having my providers getting too many email requests for a reference for me.
I was verified for this morning but then she had to cancel.
Still horny.
Now I have to send out my references again (well don't have to - did email one for a second date - but all last minute requests have a low likelihood of success)

6 months sounds like a good time frame.  But it depends.  On a side note, I wish that providers did a better job communicating back 1) whether a reference was responsive and/or 2) what she said, if anything more than just verified legitimacy.  Every provider seems to do their own thing.  I don't think that there is a clear right answer.  Just use the golden rule --- what would you want someone to do if the roles were reversed?