Given that everything on this board is fictitious, I wondered what some unlikely reviews would look like. So here's a couple and I invite others to add their own fantasy encounters.

Paris Hilton
Appearance:  7 - Less attractive than photos
Performance: 6 - Spent entire time on the phone
Attitude:    Hell yeah!
Atmosphere:  That's hot!
Cost: $25 and a Get Out of Jail Free card.
Met at her place in Malibu.  Standard two call system. She opened the door wearing that red swimsuit number she wore in Simple Life. She was thinner and less attractive than her photos. VIPS read on...
...Gave her the envelope and she asked for my help in counting it. Finally, on to the fun. After a half-hearted CBJ, I asked for some doggy. She handed me her Pomeranian. I opted for Cowgirl instead. It was OK but Paris was on her new iPhone the entire time. I ended Round One as she was ordering pizza. For Round Two, she started to upsell me on CIM until I explained to her that it was not a new way to text message. I had to get back to work so I showered, made my way past the paparazzi and left.

Hilary Clinton
Appearance:  4 - Cross between a MILF and the See's Candy lady.
Performance: 7 -  Kept the boys in a vice grip the whole time.
Attitude:   Bossy - Demanded that I wear a Bill mask and speak hillbilly.
Atmosphere:  Ice queen
Cost:        One vote