Ok, ladies, enlighten me. Give me the true reality scoop..
I've noticed many times, in many threads, over and over, reference being made to 'competition' or 'competitiveness'. Example, in the thread below about teenagers becoming providers, where GLisHJ mentions it..have you noticed how often it is in a post? But, what I'm wondering is:

1) is it the guys' assumption, or perception?
2) is it because that's what we have lead them to presume?
3) is it so?

Why do they mention it so much? Honestly, I haven't ever seen any competitiveness at all, but then I realize that my situation is not the most common being that 1) I'm (very) part time, and 2) I'm in SD, and if you know the 'climate', we have way more on our minds in this arena than silly 'competitiveness'!! So, where do the guys get this from? I notice it a lot on the regional boards..Is it like that where you are? I have heard more than once that Florida is really cut-throat between the ladies..but what's really the 'norm'?

Guys..a gentleman mentioned to me that he was interested in seeing someone, but decided against it because he thought it might upset me. That was so endearing, and I'm deeply flattered that he considered my feelings. Except, if he had let me know I would've said - go for it - she's great! But, then, how do you feel if a lady you've seen or intend to see sees someone that you're acquainted with either by PM, email or Chat Room? Would that bother you? If you and your Chat Room Buddy are both interested in the same lady, and she is aware that you are 'buddies'?

Ok, I'm sure I've got both barrels coming..

The issue of competition is one that I have heard of from some Ladies. Not everyone feels as you do Sedona. Just as in the "real world" (I'm going to get it for that one), competion abounds and the "fittest" survive. Clearly you are one of those (hope to be able to meet you some day), so you are not threatened by competition as are others who may feel less secure. For those who excel at what they do competition is a non issue. For all others it is an issue to the degree that they lack in aptitude,confidence and/or operate in a more or less saturated market. There are plenty of providers in LA, but try and get one on a Sunday. Or for that matter try and get a highly rated one anytime. The more I do this, the more I am beginning to realize that their is plenty of room at the top but the middle and lower rungs tend to be full. Still looking for the elusive "10".
  With regard to jealousy between clients, I suppose it depends on whether there is an attachment and the nature of the relationship. It's paradoxical that for this to be a "once in a lifetime experience" there has to be emotional involvement. How could it be otherwise! Yet many of the clients who post on this board praise the "business" aspect of these encounters for their lack of involvement and thus their freedom to "walk away". Under those circumstances there is no jealousy because there is no committment. I think it would be hard to have a genuine "10" experience without all of the accompaning emotions of a real Girl Friend Experience. Just my thoughts.

Before someone calls me on my one review where I did give a 10 for performance, yet in my post I say that I am still looking for the "elusive 10", suffice it to say that I got carried away (not too much) in my review.
444

She also performs DFK, BBBJ, Anal, Really Bi, or More than one guy.  Each of those will raise her score by one point.

Please keep performance scores consistent per the guidelines.

Well, I had a lady e-mail me every day for a week to change a score which I didn't in keeping with guidelines.  I had given her a great writup too.  I would suppose that would be considered competitive as she didn't think my review would improve her standing and cared about it.

I've hobbied in a number of cities and have not experienced competition among the ladies. In fact, a lot of ladies give me recommendations of other ladies who they think I enjoy meeting. About half of the ladies I've seen over the past several months have been recommendations by other providers.

On the question of an "acquaintance" seeing a lady I have seen or would like to see, I would say that is a positive development in the sense that the guys are all here to help each other.

Sedona,

Like you I am NOT competative. Sorry, can't be that way.

And, if a gent and I don't click, I will recommend someone who I think will. Last time I did that, the guy wrote to me and said thank you,I found my new ATF. He did tell me he had a great time, but when he wanted something "more wild" he would call me.

That didn't bother me. I would rather have someone happy than not happy.

Shaye

Where are these performance guidelines listed?  I haven't seen them.  In any case, I'm much more interested in people's subjective assessments than in a checkoff list....Harry

competitiveness does seem to be true among some ladies and more prevalent in different areas. I can't say I have ever experienced this myself either, so I do feel that perhaps it is because we are part timers, the clientele we cater to and wonder if it depends on where we tend to hang out.

I am by no means blaming TBD, for they do have the ladies board there and through that board it is where I have come to hear many of the complaints and tales of unsavory practices.  Ladies refusing to give references, ladies posing as clients to fill your calendar, ladies spreading viscous lies in order to lay question on a good reputation, and the list can go on.

I never understood it, for in the long run, I would think these practices would undermine a lady with such unscrupulous practices and places all of us at more risk for not networking together to ensure our own safety.  I would think these actions in such a close community would eventually make it around as to what kind of lady she really is, especially among the most avid of hobbiests.  

But I do also notice that it is only a handful of ladies that do this, for their names come up over and over again, are full time and although I am not sure, I get the impression that this is all they have or do and do not have a personal life outside of this endeavor.  Because of this, perhaps they take things to seriously.  I really can't say I understand the psychology of it all, nor would I really want to.

I have had several occassions in which gents did feel that in giving a reference that somehow that would hurt feelings, but I have never had a problem and given the tales, I do make it a point to let the gent know that using me as a reference is perfectly fine and wouldn't be the least bit offended.  I am not their wife or SO for heavens sake and can't be in all parts of the world at any given time and so, it does make sense that a gent would want to visit with someone else and even see another lady in my area at times for some different spice and variety.  Every lady is unique in her own special way and there isn't anyway one could provide the services of another.  That is an impossibility.  

I have also had gents refer other gents to me and isn't all that uncommon.  A general email letting  me know that an acquaintance of his will contact me and if he is a most trusted client that I know would never steer me wrong, I just use him as reference alone.  It is a win-win situation.

It is about having fun and if the gents wanted such restrictions and emotional ties, then I believe that they wouldn't be here in the first place, they would just stick with their SO or have that illicit affair.  Our function is about much more than just the fun, it is about discretion and the assurances of avoiding such ties.  We tend to forget that a lot.

I am not saying I do not have any emotional ties to gents that I do see.  I have made some very special acquaintances and care deeply for them, but never cross that line to emotional turmoil.  I may as well quit this and join the dating scene once again if that is what I wanted.

Lauren  

Thanks for your response. It was really helpful in clarifying what this is all about, at least from one perspective. I'm sure that there are many reasons for hobbying. Meeting ones emotional needs is just one of them, particularly if ones S.O. isn't coming through. Variety, fun, excitment, newness, etc. are some others. I must say, however, that staying within the boundaries you describe, while safe (emotionally), does suffer from a lack of  depth. Oh well, you can't have everything and hobbying is probably one of the best compromises around. Maybe for some of us it's just a transitional thing, while looking for the elusive "soul mate" (aka "10"?) Who knows. Appreciate your perspective. Thanks again.
444

Yes .. women are just as competitive as men.

Men, generally, can't walk by a store with an awning without at least having the urge to jump up and slap it, but Women are genetically incabable of walking past a shoe store without at least stopping to look in the window.   I've seen women buy a pair of shoes they can't wear .. just so some other woman can't have them.

Women say that men have no patience .... but see how much patience THEY show when you go to a party and the center of attention turns to be that young blonde bimbo with the huge tits ..

We could have won the Iraqi war in hours instead of weeks if we'd used female soldiers.    All we'd have to do is assemble a division of female troops, call them to formation and say "You see those Iraqi soldiers over there?  They say that your uniforms make your butts look fat."   Eight hours . maybe nine, tops.

I was at a social gathering of providers and their clients.  An apparently uninvited provider showed up and was working the room, walking up to each man and saying, "Hi, I'm Barbara, here is my card."  

I was told that some of the other providers almost walked out, because they disliked her practice of stealing clients (how, I don't know).  I was told this by a provider who often recommended other providers to me, unsolicited.  

Also, I have wondered when I have asked for a reference from providers whether they are going to feel competitive, thinking "why haven't you been to see me recently?"  But when I have asked for a reference I have been surprised by how effusive and complimentary the reference has been that was sent to the provider (I got a cc email).  

Another provider has pictures of herself and other actresses from past movies sitting around.  She will point out others in the pictures, saying "Isn't she pretty?"  If I say yes, she will say, "She also works sometimes.  I can give you her number."

My guess is that younger providers may be more competitive, judging by some of the past threads here regarding providers who call clients, pretend to be in love with clients, etc. (When in doubt, make a broad generalization)

I have seen more competitiveness in agencies than in independents, since I've done both of these mentioned. I do agree with most providers that we look out for each other. I know when my girlfriends are out of town, they refer their clients to me or another friend if we match the profile that the gentleman is looking for in a date. I think it is unrealistic if a provider feels threatened that her regular client wants to see another lady. After all, we are certainly not the hobbyist's girlfriend --we're fantasies for these men. We may be someone to talk to and express their personal feelings with, someone to carry out a fantasy with or just someone to spend quality time with because they are looking for a nice companion. Many of these men feel they can talk to us about things they may not feel comfortable with telling their wives or girlfriends in fear of retribution. This is a business. All of us need to remember that and go about our daily lives feeling blessed that we have work right now and have some caring people out there supporting us. We need to stick together and work as a team but still respect each other's privacy.

Bless all of you and be careful,
Ciara

You hit a home run with your viewpoints!  I would like to see you the next time I'm in Phoenix - you sound fantastic!

here in my modest MIdwestern town I've seen it split right down the middle. some ladies will network with each other, provide references,and are active productive advertisers on our regoinal board. meanwhile, the other half always tries to find out who I've been with, and gossip or spread rumors about all the other local ladies. the more competitive ones seem to, from what I've read online, have more trouble getting and retaining nice gentlemen and/or repeat clients. it's almost as bad as the different cliques or circles of friends we had to endure in high school.
I try and have no part in this silly and imature competitiveness.      
best regards, mr.man

you click the button for SUBMIT A REVIEW"

(Home/Escort Reviews/Submit a Review).  This calls up a big page of info "Guidelines for submitting reviews".  You had to click "I agree" at the bottom of this page before the actual submission form to come up, so you must have seen it.

# 7 says
"In order to keep our performance ratings consistent, we set up the following system: An escort provider may only earn up to a 7, unless she also performs the following during a session: Kisses With Tongue, Bare-Back Blow Job, Really Bi, Anal Sex, or More than One Guy. The addition of each offering will raise her score by one point. If your review doesn’t already accurately reflect this rating system, we will adjust it. "

Also there is more info on a second page under:
(Home/Escort Reviews/Review Info)  Review FAQ "How does the rating system work?"

There is a big list of helpful info about reviews, why some get rejected, How long it takes to get accepted, etc.  This page is also accessable from:

Home/info & Policies/Policies & Info

Adhearing to the TER guidelines for PERFORMANCE will make all of our lives easier.  It helps when you do searches for a lady to select those that do "extras" at the level that you want.  This keeps the playing field level in a certain respect, and helps narrow your search.

Just listen for a while on the discussion boards about the confusion over how to rate ladies for LOOKS.  Very hard. Rating PERFORMANCE is supposed to be easy: a 10 being the closest to a "do everything you could possibly want".  It is TER's scale, I just try to live by it.  (Like why multiple pops doesn't get a point?).  But you are right, in that the subjective assessment is the much more important part of the review.  that's what the Juicy Details section is for.  I hope you are a VIP member!