By the time enough time has elapsed for me to have any cause to get upset, I have already moved on to several other women who do respond in a timely matter.

As we discussed just a couple of days ago, I don't get particularly upset if a plumber doesn't call me right back. So goes it with hookers IMO, as long as I can always get someone to "clean my pipes"  I don't waste a moments worth of angst worrying about why some other plumber/hooker didn't call me back.

You do realize this is only a business, not Match.com. there are a thousand reasons that a lady doesn't return your inquiry, and at least half of them are her fault, not yours.

Where "NR" = No Response, to a gentleman's request to see a provider?

I answer within a timely manner, whether I plan on meeting them or not. If the email is inappropriate/time waster, I feel he may be a stalker, or if I had already met him and did not enjoy our time together (rude, too big c^ck, or very bad hygiene and wouldn't jump in the shower)... it is unlikely I will respond back. It is a case by case basis in those situations.

And you answered yourself in your last paragraph.

Or a RE agent, or any other so called professional. I would hazard to guess that you don't get out much.

I have people who claim to NEED business fail to get back to me all the time, I don't put any more thought into their bad business practices than I do when a hooker fails to get back to me. Quite frankly, although it might not seem like it due to how much I spend on these boards, but I actually do have a life, and I don't have any time to "wonder why", or I suppose I just don't have the inclination.

I'd like to turn this question around, and ask just why this bother's you so much? Is getting the approval of some unknown woman really that important to you? If that's the case, you and Tiddles should start a support group for unrequited johns that are pining for the approval of every woman that passes through their/your life.

If I get a NR, I will sometimes send a follow up, because I know sometimes emails get lost and things like that. If I get a NR to a follow up, then "oh well, next."

But when I contact other businesses about their services and ask whether they are available on a specific day & time, they respond in a professional manner, e.g. "Thank you for contacting us! We're sorry, but we can't make it on your requested day & time.  Would earlier/later that day work for you, or how about Wednesday... " etc.  

Personally I try and respond to every single request, I'm not perfect but I try. I usually try to respond within the same or next day, depending on the amount of screening that I have to do. If I am already booked at that time I just let him know and ask that we reschedule at another time and date.
If something in the email makes me feel uneasy or I just feel like we are not a good match I politely let him know that I don't think we are on the same page and have uncommon interests and suggest that he look elsewhere, Some reasons might include something that he said in his board posts or reviews (believe it or not these have a huge impact on whether or not I will see someone). Sometimes I don't feel comfortable seeing someone who acts like an ass on the boards or ALWAYS rights a negative review, some people just can't be satisfied!..lol
And as far as the "blacklist" statement, If there is a report on someone, sometimes it's just for being a timewaster, always late or chronic texter or emailer and some ladies are willing to see someone like this as long as he isn't dangerous and others are not. If I come across someone who has been blacklisted unfortuately I do not even acknowledge his emails or requests at all as I want nothing to do with him and I act as if he doesnt even exist. I would NEVER betray the trust of other ladies and let him know that he had been "blacklisted" it's just an unwritten lady rule!

I usually start at the end. Usually works with lengthy diatribes. In this case it did.

Agreed. Time is money to us all. Put the important thing first in your message.  

Don't worry about these things, and just move on.  Most likely you did nothing wrong (especially as an experienced guy) so no point wasting time worrying about it.  Also, just realize we aren't dealing with a regular business here, the level of "pre-date" customer service is going to vary VERY widely from lady to lady, because as long as the ACTUAL DATE customer service is there, she can get away with a little sloppiness in the other area.  I used to feel a little insulted if a lady didn't get back to me - as when you are getting started in the hobby it's easy to take things more personally - but I really don't in the least anymore.  And if she emails me a week later and says "hey babe, are you still interested?" - if the timing is still right for me, then I'll go for it.  They key for me is understanding what's truly important, and having a willingness to let small stuff slide, as there isn't necessarily a correlation between "pre-date" customer service professionalism and a really fun romp with a beautiful young woman (with even less correlation the younger the lady IMO).

to completely ignore a polite contact... do you really want to see her?  

Shit testing = a process (normally verbal jabs) to determine the thickness of your skin in order to decide as to whether to invest some time on you or to file you under the creeper/needy category!

So, as you know, providers hire photographers to keep their portfolio updated.

or preferences to his ego.  A provider who doesn't respond or doesn't want to see you isn't rejecting YOU.  She's rejecting your business.  

...you clearly have an ax to grind. My advice. Let it go. And yes it has happened to me. I let it go.

but then when pressed further the OP will finally admit to using certain verbage that would all but guarantee him NEVER getting a response.

I will be the first one to concede that there are PLENTY of BSC hookers, hookers who are lazy, hookers with bad business practices, etc etc, but even I concede that a LOT more times than not, it's the fault of the guys inquiring and that his claims of "saying nothing inappropriate" are just that, empty claims.

One thing you didn't mention, is asking for a type of date she doesn't offer. For instance, I have a multi-hour minimum, and for (most) practical purposes, I'm outcall only (my policy for getting a hotel is spelled out on my site). You'd be surprised how many requests I get for "1 hour, incall" or even "about 1 hour" or some variation. Those emails get no reply. I'm not going to see the dude (he is either haggling, or just didn't care enough to look over my site).  

'their loss'  More than anything I think NR is an opportunity to see where we stand with ourselves

Damn...he needs to borrow some of those kneepads from you.

Most guys who do not get a response think they did nothing wrong, did everything politely and did not overstep. Odds on you did in some way.  

I bet you if you do, you are likely to find a whole myriad of reasons why you never heard back from her.

As much as I would love to blame this on rude, BSC, flakey hookers, the truth of the matter is, when you don't hear back from a woman, especially one you are trying to give money to, there is usually a reason. Sometimes that reason is that she is flakey, BSC, or rude, but more often or not the blame lies with the guy making the inquiry. Sorry, if I  have broken some "bro code" but the women aren't always wrong. Except the MHB's of course, but we all know who they are. lol

"ONE word"?  That's hysterical  LOL

If the client's name is Mohammed Al-Sharif and the provider has a bias against Muslim gentlemen, he could give perfect references, advance notice, and recite her website to her from memory and she is still not going to see him, ever.

Let's say my name is Joe Smith, middle-aged or older white male, so no ethnic issues. References are all good. Contact email or form is filled out properly, spelled correctly (well, maybe), and the guy's not on any blacklist.

I take it by your non response you don't plan on doing the same.

But at least something positive seems to have come out of this thread, Our little turdster seems to have finally found a friend. lol

I meant to say "at least half of them are yours, not hers"

and of course I like messing with people, you must be new here to even have to ask that question, but I only mess with people who open that door, and you left the door WIDE OPEN.

With just a little instruction and experience, most guys can understand the drill - and the OP seems to be in this group.  I'm guessing the guys you are referring to are not well-seasoned hobbysts.  Or think of it this way, if a guy essentially has sent the same basic type of note and 95% of the time got a reply and things worked out fine, is it more likely that he is doing something wrong the other 5% of the time, or that it's more an issue on the lady's end of things (too busy, disorganized, schedule already full so doesn't bother, feeling ill, meant to reply but forgot, or any of a million other different reasons)?  Bottom line, as long as a guy is doing things the right way, it really doesn't matter.  If a lady doesn't reply, then just move along without a second thought.  It's only happened to me once or twice in over two years that I didn't get any reply.  And actually some of very BEST dates have been with ladies who took a long time to get back to me, or had other very sloppy up-front practices.  So I'd say that if he is getting replies the vast % of the time, he really shouldn't worry about the few outlier times that someone doesn't reply to him.

That's why I'm tolerant of some sloppy "pre-date" customer service myself!
(I'm not counting last second cancellations here, because without a good reason, those are disrespectful and would certainly lead me to move on...)

There are some clients for whom flakiness is an irreparable turnoff (or so they say). To others, it's not a big deal at all.  

Why does ANYTHING "bother" ANYONE here so much that they start a thread about it?  This is just something I've wondered about for awhile, and I figured I'd ask the community about it.

This latest post of yours is odd, considering earlier in this thread you said "there are a thousand reasons that a lady doesn't return your inquiry, and at least half of them are her fault, not yours."

As I said, I don't have any interest in seeing this provider any more.  I now have a date at my requested day & time with a provider who is the epitome of a professional... and tons of fun too.  

... to my offer to become a new customer of a business.  

How many NR's you've socked away with this thread and your whining. As GaG said at least Tiddles has a new playmate.

but the more he whined about it, the more it sounds like maybe his inquiries have the same tone to them, which I can only imagine are very offputting to many, (but not all) providers. That could be the reason that only "some" of the ladies don't respond to him.

I have to say that the very fact that he is STILL whining about not getting a return email pretty much proves my point.

and of course if he wants to use this post as proof that I am an asshole, I will claim "guilty as charged" but at least I am not a "whiny little asshole" lmao

and 95% of the time things work out okay, then I'd suggest that most likely in the other 5% of times that the lack of response has little to do with anything he did wrong (by an objective standard).  The OP seems like he's been around enough and has a decent head on his shoulders, so I'm guessing he didn't do anything wrong.  But hey, we're all just speculating aren't we?  Either way, it doesn't really matter and he should just move on, like he says he's done.

You've been not responded to several times. Out of how many contacts? say 100. Unless the providers have not responded to as many  potentials out of a hundred you stand out as someone probably best avoided. Just numbers, so you think your approach is cool but you're doing something that red flags you.

Always.  

Response page could have been lost and she doesn't know.  There could be a browser conflict.
Her server could be filtering out submissions from certain domains.

if my first email never got a response, but I found that it never resulted in a session, even if the provider emailed me the second time around to say that she never got my first email. It just never pans out, so now if I don't get a response on the first email, she goes into my "dead-to-me" pile, and I move on.

"Dead-To-Me" pile. I like that and I will have to borrow it. My "Her Loss"  pile seemed kinda juvenile.  

...he shouldn't obsessively worry about what he may have done wrong the time or two a lady DIDN'T reply to him.  Whatever the reason, it just doesn't matter.  I'm guessing that the most obsessive worriers about this are probably guys who in fact DO conduct themselves in the most proper way.  I think douche bags know exactly what they've said that crossed over the line, and wouldn't need to come here looking for the explanation to one of life's great mysteries, like a guy who did things "right" but still didn't hear back.

But I've found some lovely ladies who were just a bit disorganized in their approach but were true sweathearts and had all the right kind of skills that REALLY mattered.  One just didn't reply to written communication - but when I eventually tried calling her we worked everything out and we had several great dates.  I've just learned over time not to read too much into ladies who don't reply like we'd all want a well-run small business to.  And hell, by not taking offense, it's allowed me to have some fun times with ladies I didn't "give-up" on.

when she is, you'll just have to get in line buddy! lol

And once again you won't reply with an answer.

... who posted opinions on the subject, pro and con.  That's why I posed my questions, to get the "wisdom of the group."

I have had some email go to archive or spam.  Gmail threads my notifications together every now and then and I have missed some emails.  Once I get them, I always reply with an apology.  It happens.

There is a nice permanence to it. With so many fish in the ocean, why continue chumming for sub-par tuna?

with a well known local lady.  I did this about a month ahead of my trip.  I finally heard back from her 2 weeks after I returned home.  Yes, I missed out on seeing her but I saw another fantastic lady who rocked my world.  Did I fret about the NR?  Hell no!

+1
My thoughts exactly.

So I try to let the guy have some time to chew on it and email me back when he is in a place where he can go on my site to fill out the form. Otherwise I'm blowing up his email.  

who post advance iso requests asking for pms.

I sent an email using Gmail to the assistant of a provider I've seen before. I never got a reply. I contacted her again, but used a different email address (non-Gmail), and she sent me copies of the replies she's sent me to my first email.

If it smells like fish, she ain't a dish

I use gmail and have never had a problem sending or receiving mail, nor keeping it private.  I set it up to not save cookies, passwords, data, etc.  I use the browser not the app and do it all in incognito mode.  Checking my temporary files every time is a bit of a pain, but have never had a problem.  The confusion sets in when you use google apps.  I stay away from the apps.

I forgot to add this, I have had clients make typos on their emails when filling out my request notifications on my website.  If a reply isn't received, try submitting again.

-- Modified on 3/2/2015 8:35:28 AM

Just had to throw in the "fish pun" ...

1. Any acronyms that were used in the email
2. A sense of arrogance or entitlement
3. I am really good looking, big dick ...etc.
4. You will really enjoy this, I am so good in bed etc.

And yes I agree that there are some hookers that are just not on their game with replies. I can and will  on;y speak for myself and I do things. Everyone gets a reply that does not overstep something that sends a red flag.  

In the interest of fairness, I freely admit that I have misfiled emails or been slow to respond on a few occasions. In those cases, I've either offered to make it up to the guy or graciously accepted that he has moved on to someone else. It happens. Just the other day, I put an email thread in the wrong folder and didn't notice it until the guy emailed me to confirm an appointment that I had meant to reschedule. Totally my fault and he is getting some OTC time to make up for it.  

Any trick who calls you paranoid, is exactly the type to be rejected. And you are right about the seasoned tricks, they can be the most difficult when rejected. The sense of entitlement of some is off the charts.  

Remove all identifiers and let us see what you wrote. That is if you are honest enough to actually post it truthfully.  

but I guess art mimics life

When a trick has been rejected and goes ape shit. I did that on my local board when I was disbelieved at how miserable some guys can get when rejected. And yes it was a board dude who lost his shit because I refused to see him, which proves Toby's assessment that a hobbyist can be the worst.  

but you are certainly a smart Man Hating Bitch. lol

That's exactly what happened, the more defensive the OP gets on this subject, the more I believe he said something that didn't sit real well with the woman in question.

Guys might not realize this, but if they have a needy or clingy personality, it is quite likely to show through in their correspondence, and needy and clingy customers are the very last thing any respectable provider who knows her business is ever going to want. So it's no wonder that many inquiries go straight into the trash bin.

But I'll reiterate it here in case you missed my last comment  LOL

I could also share some of the emails I've gotten over the years from hookers that were "rejected".

It's only going to happen once, and to borrow a Tobism, world keeps a'spinnin'

Email doesn't use cookies. I'm only talking about Gmail. I use Firefox as my "hobby" browser.

I can (and usually do) play virtually every day of the year, and I rarely if ever make plans more than a few hours in advance, and never more than a few days, so if a woman flakes out on me, it's really no biggie.

Other guys have to scheme, save, and plan, weeks or even months in advance, both to save the money and to plan the time with which to hobby. Flaking on one of these guys can be a VERY big deal, as they can't simply find someone else to see tomorrow.

I really wish I could muster up the energy to truly feel bad for these guys, but truth be told, "it sucks to be them" That's about as much sympathy as I can muster. We all make life choices, they choose to be married, deal with it. lol

You are both correct, of course. There are many ways that communications can go awry and respect isn't a one-way street. I wasn't trying to imply otherwise...  

I ever received from a provider was "I don't see guys who post on TER". I appreciated the acknowledgment of my request, the honest response and the ability to move on without wondering whether to try contacting her again (in other words, it helped me to be courteous and respectful to her in return).  

That preference is likely NOT posted on her site, so an explanation would be necessary.

My bad. I was referring to a hypothetical Betty Boobs. Didn't think there'd actually be one.

I promise you that we're speaking from experience on this. You'd be amazed at how nasty things can get when a guy can't properly handle a hooker's rejection. In most cases it's just annoying and stressful, but in other cases it's downright terrifying.  

It's primarily initial contact emails, but still funny nonetheless.

But I doubt she's a provider so I think you're cool

Just like "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" so is "inappropriate communications"

and just like the only person's opinion that matters to me about a woman's appearance is me, the only person's opinion about inappropriate emails is the woman responding, or "not" responding, whichever the case may be.

And ya know what? Those that made the site are still scratching their heads as to why they did not get a reply or a booking.

Unfortunately, I can't do that.  I think I mentioned earlier that I used the provider's Contact form on her website.  That's her preferred contact channel.  It didn't occur to me at the time to copy what I wrote on that form and save it someplace, as I never thought I'd need it again.

But you probably don't believe that.  I think you and GaG have your minds made up that I traumatized this provider somehow.  Heck, I'm probably on multiple blacklists now.  

I just visited the site and read a few and could not believe the utter stupidity of some people. And they wonder why we don't want to reply to some of the vomitus via email we get

There really was no need for your post...except to hopefully get some support bitching at moaning at providers who won't answer your requests for an appointment. So do you feel better? Hope so or this was all for nothing.

As much as I can't disprove it, she just didn't want to deal with you.

If you need to be told not to do this, you are TSTTT in the first place.

Your last paragraph nailed it...it is the perception of the provider that counts in this case.

Guess not.

They're hysterical but I can honestly say I didn't learn anything that common sense hadn't already taught me,

If this girl is a relative newbie or UTR (you said she is not on p411, which makes me think she might be) she could have been turned off by your mention of reviews.

All he knows is that she didn't reply.  Period.  No use speculating on anything else, it just doesn't matter.  Maybe she screened him and didn't like what he said, or maybe she dropped over dead from a stroke so she couldn't reply.  Who knows?

Perhaps ladies would prefer these?

I decided to take the advice of those of you who suggested I try to contact the provider one more time.  This time I used her email (gmail), even though she asks that her web site's Contact form be used.

... some of which are recent, and has a link on her web site's home page to TER. So I don't see why she'd be turned off by my mentioning her reviews.  

... all the others who recommended I simply move on.  

Hey! I resemble that remark!!

Usually moving on is by far the easiest, least stressful thing to do. And judging by the posters here who mentioned that they finally got some responses months later, you just never know. Providers sure are goofy sometimes.

There certainly were a lot of reactionary judgmental replies.
Approach this game with a light spirit, not judging anyone, and more times than not things will work out fine - but no matter what you can still have a smile on your face and not let little bumps in the road drag you down.

I kinda love how this worked out. Hope you have a great time with her.