TER General Board
Apologies first, as I am not a provider...
but I thought the need to chime in because this situation has come up for me about three times during my hobbying career with providers with whom I was very involved with over a long period of time.
On these occasions, it was clear that there was a grave upset in the provider's life at the time; and they did not want to have sex, but instead to be able to talk and/or just be held in a non-sexual way. Owing to the longevity and intensity of the relationshipw we had, I obliged.
In one of the cases I paid their fee anyway, in the other two I did not.
I felt a little strange about offering the money as I felt it might make the provider feel awkward, but I knew that she really needed it and I obliged to help.
I confess to having mixed emotions about these situations, but on the whole life is sometimes more about what you need to do than what you want to do; and those were those times.
In the end, things cleared up and we went back to our usual sybaritic ways; so it's all good.
A recent reply on the Newbie board by xxxalyssaxxx suggested an interesting question if answered from the Providers' point of view:
If your clients had to pick one or the other, what percentage would choose intimacy (without sex), and what percentage would choose sex (without intimacy)?
I realize many would opt for a combination of the two. But if that combination was not available . . .?
Good question and I cant wait to read the replies .
-Layla
(Not a provider, but)
Okay, so I am a romantic. For me (although I enjoy everything offered) the best part is just cuddling and kissing and sharing some intimate conversation. To hold a woman who is beautiful on the inside, playfully caressing, feeling her soft skin next to mine. Hearing her laugh. Seeing her smile, and her eyes light up at something you say. Seeing her reach into her depth as she responds to something you say or ask. Treasuring that which she shares with you. Doing all of this while you are both au natural, with no physical barriers, sharing what's in our depths.
Yes, without a doubt, Intimacy. "To Know, and Be Known".
We all are greedy and want both, but if forced to choose I'd almost always take intimacy. Especially with one of my ATFs.
The two best sessions I ever had were both scheduled for a three hour dinner/dessert time. Both times we were too damn busy having FUN and enjoying each other's company we never got back to my room for dessert. Dawn came some 9 or 10 hours later and I dropped her off at her home.
No doubt sex wo intimacy is not very exciting. If I wanted that I would just grab a hooker of the streets for 50 bucks.
I think this is related to the issue of provider-client friendships. Whenever this issue has been brought up, many clients who have a special rapport with a provider have stated that they would give up the sexual relationship for a platonic friendship.
However, that's only in rare cases. Let's face it, we'd like a bit of both, and the best providers give us that but ultimately, we're hobbyists for one main reason.
One could make the case that hobbyists crave provider sex as a compensation for lack of emotional intimacy in their civvie lives but I'd be wary of any such generalizations.
People being naturally inclined towards sexuality, in doubt any of us could remain in a civvie "intimacy-only" relationship for long - at least not without stepping out on her.
Though Dragonfly has some good points, for me, what VisitingProf said hit the nail on the head. I'm more of a lonely guy who wants the intimate attention. Sex is great, but it builds to a climax and the second it's over it's over. The intimacy can go on for hours and still be rewarding the whole time.
That's my .02
--Kreyzy
Growing indifference with diminishing intimacy and rapidly diminishing sex.
Choose your poison, pard'ner!
at least the first word
Prof and Krazy both hit it on the head. For me, it is all about the total experience. GFE is sometimes understated for what it means.
Whenever I see my ATF I leave after a couple of hours with a refreshed attitude and a feeling that the world is just a wonderful place to inhabit. The sex with this lady is phenomenal but the intimacy-the laughter, the shared jokes, the familiarity and the trust is what makes each visit special. Sure the sex is bought and paid for but the fun we have together and what her personality and joy for life do for my disposition is something you simply can not put a price on.
but I thought the need to chime in because this situation has come up for me about three times during my hobbying career with providers with whom I was very involved with over a long period of time.
On these occasions, it was clear that there was a grave upset in the provider's life at the time; and they did not want to have sex, but instead to be able to talk and/or just be held in a non-sexual way. Owing to the longevity and intensity of the relationshipw we had, I obliged.
In one of the cases I paid their fee anyway, in the other two I did not.
I felt a little strange about offering the money as I felt it might make the provider feel awkward, but I knew that she really needed it and I obliged to help.
I confess to having mixed emotions about these situations, but on the whole life is sometimes more about what you need to do than what you want to do; and those were those times.
In the end, things cleared up and we went back to our usual sybaritic ways; so it's all good.
Are you kidding?
Anybody coming here for intimacy is in the wrong place. This is no place for it.
With my ATF, the two are so inextrcably linked that I can't separate them. The sex is fantastic, but without the intimacy I wouldn't continue to see her. The intimacy is truly amazing but I think that would be impossible without the sex. Mind/body/spirit.
I was thinking the same thing as I was making my first entry. If everything is clicking with a lady you really can not separate the two...
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