I might be pushing it by asking so many questions in one night, but oh well.

I was reading a blog page of various providers from around the country, and came across one who basically is always bitching and griping about everything from other providers, to men, to how her life is so unfair....etc.

Wouldn't a provider who realizes that anything they put into print and out to the public can and will be used to determine if anyone would even want to see her, try to at least be civil?

I can understand frustrations in life and especially in the workplace. But that is what friends and maybe even something like a "providers only" board is about. To air out all your gripes and complaints about your whole life to the general public is just asking for lots of guys to just skip right by you, wouldn't it?

b-

I have seen a number of providers who come across fairly negative in their blogging, or in their posts on TER.

I have noticed two things about this group of providers. First, they are generally sweet and warm hearted in person. Second, they seem to have a 6th gear built into their sex drives, so to speak.

For those reasons, I wouldn't shy away from providers who sound a little harsh in their writing.

Although I would like to see the blog in question, I am speaking generally.
I also stay away from providers who rant, and are drama queens. There are providers here that I would not see for a free session, because of that.
I am not talking about providers who participate here frequently, but some of the providers do not enjoy what they are doing, and their ""writing" usually gives them away.

tend to rant and rave a bit now and then.

But Balathazar's point is well taken as amplified by Ego check's post.

It is off putting to some prospective clients to hear such things and the Providers Only Board would be a much better venue from their self interest point of view.

This is not to say that providers should refrain from posting about certain deficencies that come up from time to time (e.g. personal cleanliness is a good one), but that the tone should always be a friendly and inviting one.

I am under no illusion that the various sales clerks, countetpersons, telephone order takers, gov't functionaries, coworkers, etc...I encounter in the course of my miserable day-to-day existence have any great love for me.  If in fact I was no drop off the face of the earth, or be absducted by aliens, none of them would mourn or rue my passing.  If they even troubled themselves to note it.


Bitching and moaning and ranting is part of everyday life -- providers are no less likely to fall prey to this than is any other occupation.  As long as they provide a mimimal level of competence and professionalism, I have no care as to what they write in their various blogs for the benefit and entertainment of their peers and their fans.   The trope is that they're paid to leave -- so why should I trouble myself with whatever problems and worries they seek to work, on their own time, out via the written word in the community of their peers.?


i'm guessing that most TER hobbyists are able to separate the wheat from the chaff here.  If a provider's blog indicates an angry personality venting at will, but her performance reviews give no evidence of that, that's all that matters.  


Everyone's different; some hobbyists would take any blog ranting as a red flag and stay away.  Others would not. In the end, if it doesn't effect the quality of the session, it's just another unimportant "So What?"

I can suck the chrome off a bumper and can DT and I'm a complete nympho who can't get enough attention. I LOVE what I do.
I guess I'm in the 6 gears category.
LoL

Thank TER God for the alias.
I think that even if the best provider is honest with a sugary sweet tone 100% of the time she would appear as a man hater.  
Sometimes we say things over the course of discussions when prompted so that we may offer an alternative view: I've given up doing so with my name often because of all of the cry baby responses I get via PM and email.  Balathazar is smart to understand that inflection is lost through internet message boards.

A hard lesson for the internet provider to learn is that we sell a carefree, eternally pleasant attitude and that clients really don't want the truth about the business, ever.  If its not a message about "oh how I love sucking dick all day" or "I worship my clientele" its really not going to benefit your business when participating in hobby forums.  There are those who are impressed by intelligence and book based upon astute or interesting writing-but the vast majority value those who aren't interested in sharing their negative opinions regarding the business publically.  

I was once told by a moderator who was warning me for my best interest:  "TER isn't about your thoughtful discussion regarding the business, its about who can suck and fuck the best" and basically to watch myself.

I was also told by my Hooker Sensei, the oracle:
"If it doesn't make you money, don't post it."

Obviously, I don't adhere to his sage advice all the time-but girls and boys, those are words to live and die by in this business.  Public blogs in which you voice negative opinions about the business are counterproductive.



-- Modified on 1/13/2008 8:00:29 AM

I'm with balathazar on this one, I avoid people who mess up their life in general. One very well-known tantra provider from West Coast (who previously did a great job popularizing tantra) apparently got a nervous breakdown recently, and she keeps posting rants and insults on her former male partner and some other providers on her blog. This is especially troubling because tantra is supposed to help you master your emotional side. I had some suspicions about her before, but now I doubt whether I want to see anyone involved in this story during my next trip to West Coast at all...

It's one thing for hobbyists to whine, bitch and overpost here.  But our living isn't affected by it. To be brutally honest, I tend to stay away from providers who I perceive to be over-active DB drama queens .  I figure that lack of biz might be a reason.  Better for them to post using an alias.

-- Modified on 1/13/2008 10:27:55 AM

You should hear what they say in person!  I have been out for drinks or dinner, of the clock, with a number of ladies over the years after a session and honestly, once they feel comfortable enough to start venting about their problems (in the hobby or otherwise) it can leave you scratching your head and wondering how they could have done such an amazing job of satisfying you in bed just a short time earlier.  

The answer is really quite simple. None of us are one dimensional, life would be pretty boring if we were. Providers have a tough row to hoe in that they can't bitch about their work problems to most of the people in their lives. A blog, being read by both other providers and guys who hobby is, in a manner of speaking, a sympathetic ear.  Unless we are hobbying with blinders on we should understand where they are coming from.  Sometimes when I'm with a lady on an OTC excursion and she is in vent mode she will stop in mid rant and ask me "Does it bother you that I am telling you this stuff?". Of course it doesn't. I look at it as having achieved a level of trust that only makes our actual appointments that much more intimate.

I do read some pretty horrifying stuff on some provider blogs but I usually see some very up-beat entries on the same blog. Don't judge a gal by one or two entries. For better or worse you can learn a lot about someone from their written words. A negative post is far different from a negative outlook. I guess the tricky part is reading enough and being open-minded enough to figure out which of those options you are dealing with in a particular case....very tricky indeed.

Ultimately, I use the reviews to decide if I am going to see a lady or not.  The sex part is all about the fantasy and that story is better told by those who have seen her.

-- Modified on 1/13/2008 10:52:52 AM

-- Modified on 1/13/2008 10:55:13 AM

I admit I talk about my civvie job and how I feel about those I help in my job. I talk about the pain, the sorrow and the joy of my civvie job.

I talk about what is going on with me.  My thoughts, new adventures and my pets,etc..

I try to avoid talking about this part of my life on my blog.  I enjoy my clients, I enjoy the time we spend together, but I don't feel it's appropriate to blog about them or our experiences.  I will admit there have been times I talked about the ick of bargaining and rollover minutes, but that's far from the norm.

Blogging is about being able to voice your opinions and thoughts without censorship.

Isn't there a rule that says that if you publish a photo like that after a post like yours you MUST also include a link to your site?  Or is this just a tease?

As others have noted, I guess it really depends on what you (the hobbyist) is looking for.

If your home life stinks, your SO is constantly nagging you, your boss is a jerk, and your football team just got knocked out of the play-offs, then maybe all you really want out of a session is a sweet fantasy girl - all smiles, moans, and declarations of your sexual might.

On the other hand, there are some that may want a little more depth out of their interactions.  (As I write that, I feel that 'Hardy' is warming up his keyboard ).  Perhaps these hobbyists want to experience a more dynamic, three dimensional person.  A longer session, a repeat session, perhaps a little time off the clock.  They love the great sex, but they also want to know what makes the provider tick.  Maybe see some of the figurative warts below the glossy exterior.

That kind of knowledge can either add depth and passion, or it can kill the illusion.  Tightrope walking for the so inclined.