Good luck getting answers, But there are 2 things that annoy the heck out me though.

who chain me up and use me for their personal sex machine for days on end.

So what if I'm the horniest stud they ever met, I can't help it, I was born that way.

They have to keep in mind that there are others who want and need my loving.

Haven't they ever heard of sharing?

8o)

...for the time I'm with you.  You can forget me immediately afterwards.

It's not just providers: In California, TV anchors making 6 and 7 figures a year couldn't spend 10 minutes practicing how to pronounce 'Schwarzenegger'.  They routinely butchered his name and blithely cashed their paychecks.  Talk about whores!

for some, they might have butchered his name continually on purpose.

See the link.  Let do some similar lists for the escort business.

Guys: What things do providers do that annoy you?

Girls: What do customers do that drives you batty?

We already had a thread for this not too long ago, but one of my pet peeves is girls who can't ditch their cell phone.  And sloppy incalls.  Sure the woman's body might be pristine.  But jeezus christ clean the bathroom now and then, willya?  I hate visiting silky smooth shaven providers but having to dodge public hairs and goopy tissues in the bathroom.  And please don't act like you're doing us a favor by screening.  Yes, we all agree: Screening is important.  But c'mon -- we're offering you money.  Try to act just a little bit pleased that we selected you.  Screening is no more a thrill than waiting in the rain while a bouncer checks his list or having your registration and license checked when you're pulled over by a cop.  Just bureaucracy.

And yes, ladies, what you suspect is true: My penis has not seen soap in six weeks.  I'm not touching that thing.  That's why I pay you.  And no, I don't floss either.

1) Escorts that do not value my time. The constant moving back of appointments. I know real life happens, but appointments are moved back 20 min to an hour when I am on route on a regular basis to the point it is normal. Then there is the NCNS. It has only happened three times but really how long does it take to call and say it an't happening?

2) Only lady didn't bother to shower after her day job. Ladies I get what your saying about stinky privates as I had to convince her it was a dream of mine to give a lady a sponge bath so just I could stand to eat her out. It is one thing if you have unplanned sex with an SO and she is a bit off, but a lady that I scheduled a week in advance and am paying $250 an hour to, that is just not cool.

3) Ladies that need to fake an "O". I know most guys are into the fantasy that they rock the escorts world, and that the provider is their girlfriend for the hour, but I am not one of them. Yes I want her to have a good time and if I can possibly get the lady to her "O" I am all in. Yet, if you fake and I can tell it bothers me more then the lady not having one at all. And yes I often can tell that a lady is faking.

Those are my biggest beefs I have had with providers.

Providers cant possibly like any of you guys, for real.  Annoying things from providers?  Hiding a people magazine under the pillow, while I doggie them and they say 'oh yes pappy' when I know they are reading about George clooney or Jennifer Anniston.

have been very professional about the business part of the relationship.  The incall has been clean and neat, usually a beverage is offered, and sometimes fruit, cheese, or other snack is offered if the date is for more than an hour.

Ocassionally, I have tried to see a provider who either didn't or was very late in returning an e-mail inquiry.  I know they get tons of e-mail but at least return the e-mail and say you are not available.

With agency gals, the phone call at 55 minutes is annoying.  the provider can certainly tell that the hour is almost up.  Some providers have a playlist on their ipod or iPad that runs about 60 minutes so when the music stops, the date is over.  No need to watch a clock.

The other one,

I generally schedule my meetings at least a week ahead of time.  Why in the world, if you have 168 Hours or more notice before an appointment can you not be ready on time?  Seriously!

(The lady I reviewed is exempt, she can be as late as she wants!  Everyone else, be on time, please! We have jobs, family, friends, mistresses, whatever ourselves, it's rather rude to be late!)

Gotta be annoyed at a provider who milked me dry for 3 pops and wanted to keep riding my shaft till it can no longer function ... when she is fully aware that I got another 1 hour provider appointment right after her  session .. and that I have a date with the SO at night.

Please turn the phone off !!!!!  When I am seeing someone, I want her to myself for the time I have paid for.  I don't want to keep stopping while she checks a message.  Wait until the session is over.

Can we save the chit chat for the middle when I'm recharging? Especially if we've met before. I haven't been 19 in a long time, so I'd like more then 30 minutes to work up that second pop.

It's awkward and a thrill kill

Same goes for "I want to get to know the real you... let’s do lunch/dinner off-the-clock"  

What's your real name?

Do you have an SO?

I got into this for the excitement of meeting strangers for a good time without strings.  Analytically, charging $ should take care of excess baggage, but not so... some of the time.  

For the most part, most keep things fun and easy.  Just griping a bit about the rare few.

-- Modified on 4/28/2011 7:46:32 AM

ha that makes sense good input, we may be glad to see you again... so just sweetly say shhhhh... kiss the girl and get it rollin

I can understand running late. However, scheduling guys back-to-back is a guarantee to create problems (I walk at about 10, maybe 15, minutes past). Thing is, your being 15 minutes late doesn't come off my appointment to get you back on schedule.

A lady can really get my interest not because she responded to my email right away - I'm a big boy and know that can't always be the case. But if you reply more than a couple of days, or weeks/months, later, fess up that it's a late response and then get down to business

I don't need your lies about why you had to cancel. I'd rather you just say that you had to cancel. I appreciate the heads up (more is better) and I don't need to know about the personal reason, no matter how benign. It's none of my business. You're free to share why, if you like, but I find keeping it clean is better (for me). Don't forget. We guys talk, and it is not uncommon to catch a lady giving different guys different excuses.

I get tired of the ladies who call themselves professional (I think every lady out there claims to be), but many are sadly far from it. They want, expect or demand to be treated as such, but do not seem to be able to treat others that way. This isn't every lady, and I won't even try to guess the percentage, but I do reward professional behavior with repeat business as much as I do good performance.

aside from bad hygiene, obviously:

-Bad mouthing other providers to me-I'm not in high school anymore, so no drama please. LOL

-Staying way over the agreed upon time without offering to tip extra. Most guys are very respectful of my time, but there are always going to be guys out there who try to take advantage.

-Not letting me know if something is turning you on, or not turning you on. I'm not a mind-reader-if something I'm doing isn't doing it for you and you would rather have me do something else, please let me know (nicely, of course )

-Being too bossy/demanding and constantly barking orders at me-yes, you are paying me, but I like to be treated like a human being and not a blow-up doll or robot LOL. Luckily I have only had this problem a couple times.

-Showing up way early to my incall. I don't book appointments back to back, but I like to take my time to make myself pretty for someone and not be rushing around. 5 minutes early-no problem, come on up. But I don't like it when someone is 20-30 minutes early and just waiting in his car in the parking lot. I completely understand if you're coming from far away and want to allow extra time to find the place, but if you arrive more than 5-10 minutes early, it's best to kill some time by going to the bar to have a drink, going to a nearby store to browse around, etc.

-- Modified on 4/28/2011 9:53:28 AM

I set the alarm on my phone.  Girls think it's kinda weird, but... whatever.  Why not?  I've often got other places that I need to be too.  The first time I set my alarm I did it purely to annoy a certain woman that I saw frequently but who still had a few rough edges.  One night I was with her and she started her usual blathering and dithering.  I waited patiently, then looked at her, said 'OK, now MY time starts'.  I started the timer, placed it prominently in front of us, and kissed her.  Later, when the timer went off, I pulled away, got up, got my shit together as fast as I could, and left.  You should have seen the look on her face.  Priceless.

I ended up seeing a lot of that girl.  We had a lot of good times, and most of my best memories with her aren't even sex-related (unless you count making out with her dog in the park -- which, by the way, I paid the dog 5 euros for).  She was really sweet.  And gorgeous.  We definitely danced on the line of professionalism, though.  If her boyfriend hadn't been a steroid-shooting bodybuilder who some of the other girls assumed was her pimp (and maybe he was), and if I hadn't been married (though I told her I wasn't -- oops; we guys are jerks), our relationship might have been different.

But yea -- clocks.  I'm all in favor.

1) Not being ready on time. A few minutes to finish showering is okay, but don't be out of your hotel shopping when our appointment is supposed to start ( happened to me a couple of years ago.)

2) Offering BS excuses for why you had to cancel- especially after I changed my travel plans to meet you in your city. To wit: a provider cancelled at the last minute due to "severe menstrual cramps", even though she had told me during a previous appointment all about her hysterectomy.

3) Ushering me out the door of her incall 15 minutes early because she had to get ready for her next appointment. Hey- the clock is still running at 5 dollars a minute, baby!