I've been thinking about this song. It is in my head along with the post below on cheating combined with a conversation an hour ago with a date, the topic being intimacy and how we all need it.

It makes no difference if we are black or white or rich or poor. We all need intimacy. We all know the difference in our needs is divided by the sexes.

The last four years have taught me quite a bit about the opposite sex. I can't even begin to list what I have learned about myself.

One thing I have to admit, is that I am more willing to have sex as Sexy Carolina than I am to have it with my bf.

I understand his needs...I sure do. I know mine. When it comes down to it.... my needs are more about tender intimacy. His needs are for more action...you know cg, rcg..mish   And of course BBBJ His appetite has not been sated like mine has over the last few years. His needs require more now and then... I am sure they will level out..
You see..we search for what we have missed out on along the way. And in some marriages there is little or NO intimacy. My bf is divorced and we are dating..9 months so far!!  
I have this giving persona..my boyfriend in my opinion will be with me...so I always tell him..we have time..no hurry....this is only when it comes to sex...anything else and I am out the door. My comfort comes from his presence. I can easily look back at my last marriage ...a picture exactly what he went thru..I endured... So did he. And now we are in our 50's..our prime time in life.
Knowledge is power. It gives us choices and we can make changes...we know what roads to detour so to speak.

Yes I do have a few things I need when it comes to my personal sex life. A good size helps and plenty of oral. I know my bf would like sex with me every day and twice on Sunday. Sometimes I am tired. Can you believe it?  
I have found that even one date takes it out of me. Start from the beginning. The anticipation..getting ready before the date...will he like me? Will he be pleased? And more. Add to the total summation...a very physical date..and I might be exhausted. It is all good. I enjoy it all and I reap many benefits.

But as providers... we do get into it all..we give...we give alot.
Which leads me, if you have been able to follow this rambling post to the importance of needs and desires.
That we need. We desire. The problem is timing.
As much as I know how much my bf needs and desires me..I get tired. A long day. A death in the family. Allergies. What works for us is that I KNOW and understand.

I know and understand about needs, desires, fantasies, lost chances....
Combine our needs with human anatomy. My naked body. My body that I grew to love. Some parts more than others!!! And yes..I remember naked men and their members!! Before I learned anything... the body of a man never really TOUCHED me. Not in the way I like to be touched now. What I learned is that MEN have greater physical needs. After exploring these needs with a few good men I found the male sexual organs very sexy in an up-close kinda perspective. I wanted him to feel my needs and I guess I used his cock and his body as my demo. I found that there was nothing sexier than caressing a man's cock tenderly with my lips, cheekbones...you get the picture. If only the majority of women could turn to their mates(penis) and worship them.....


I really do not look at myself as an escort. I feel like a sexy therapist.  
I think for men it IS crucial for them to have sexual activity. AND not so much self-pleasure.

Women need to FINALLY understand and accept these facts. You men know that it only takes a few minutes to put a smile on HIS face. For women that smile will be there as long as you are there for them.

It sounds so simple. But now we have to throw in personalities, physical and medical issues.
First it might be look and touch and then twenty years down the road it is don't look...she undresses in the closet.
99% of my clients are married. I respect that as you can tell.
In this hobby there are all levels of participation. Only you know how much your needs are and how far you will go.

But I dare say..I believe that many women like myself are saving marriages.

Everybody needs Somebody sometime....

Sexy Carolina





-- Modified on 6/9/2008 10:41:44 AM

o'l deano.....


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quY-Hs_9qy0&feature=related#

“In this hobby there are all levels of participation. Only you know how much your needs are and how far you will go.“

I agree Carolina.

I feel that you have hit on what is at the core (for me at least) of why I got into this hobby - seeking to fill those “needs, desires, fantasies” even if it is for just a short period of time, with someone else. I started because my needs were not being met in my marriage. The sexual aspects of my marriage died years ago.  I needed the release and the intimate connection that goes with it that I was missing. I think that by the very nature of this experience, the planning, the anticipation and yes, the exchange of monetary consideration, it makes us concentrate on doing it “right” and getting the most out of the experience that we can. Filling those needs. That's what helps make the experience so special and fulfilling. Those times where 2 people share a connection, however brief it may be, that fills those needs, mental and physical. I have also thought that in a way it has helped my marriage. My wife has commented that she thought I have been treating her better.

C_K

As women we feel pressure sometimes. it is so weird for me to be on the other side of the coin.
I know how much my bf NEEDS me. My needs and his are way off. But because I understand them I am able to satisfy them. Not as often as he wants..but I am working on it. men don't need any preperation. I think they are always ready.
I a;lso believe that being an escort has put some kind of timing mechanism on my sexiness.
What we do to prepare..well what I do...involves time..it is the dance before the mating.
When I am with my boyfriend I find I need to be more spontaneous. Even Sexy Carolina has to work on her sexual relationship. It is a continous process..but I am happy to say it is not work..it is a love driven process.

What I am very thankful for is being a woman..and while I am 52..being in a relationship. The last thing I would want is to be a 50 year old male who has needs and he is single...or married. I can't even begin to imagine the dificulty in having your needs and desires met....that is another chapter in life...A book!

I know that since I became Sexy..I have learned what pleases me and how to achieve these feelings. I know what feels good. All of the men I have met have had ONE thing in common. To please me and adore my body. And to talk a little...I think when we fulfil our needs we feel better about ourselves and our eyes and hearts open up to the needs and desires of others. It is the circle of life. We only need the chance to share.

52 year old male - married - has needs. It does make it hard to lead this duplicitous existence where I do still care about my wife and her feelings and yet I still seek out the release through the hobby. So I do have to carefully plan to keep my hobby time hidden. But as you said that's a whole other chapter or 6! I do think it has helped me feel better about myself even with the small cloud of guilt that sometimes follows me. I find real benefit from the sharing and the connection  - that chance to share.

C_K

And this one caused me to do a great deal of thinking.  Thank you for that.

D.

P.S.:  Now that I know your personal life requires "a good size and plenty of oral," I realize that I can only fulfill one of your requirements.

Sexy Carolina would say size does not matter!!

But I know for me personally it does
I want to feel all of it.  
And there is nothing wrong with a little oral to get everything hot and wet  

I get my cake and I eat it too!

I'm thankful for all my O-s. I have COME to believe, pun intended, that orgasms are better for us than any other pill or drug or organic smoothie!!. Forget about the apple a day. Not everyone has a daily O but they should , could and damn sure wish to.

How many times..ask yourself this..when you were with the one you loved...and you just made love..and you both thought... We need to do this MORE often. And then you jump out of bed...or just scramble and you are off to what we all think is more important. But it is those moments of intimacy that give us those energizing waves of bliss. If we Get it On more often we might enjoy the journey more along the way.

But I have them stored up...The memories, the possibilities, the different gentlemen, the dance, the pillow talk, the sex in the car, early in the am, crack of dawn, in the middle of the night, in the hottub, in Boston, after a 10K, a weekend to remember....a wrestle date...dinner for two, blindfolds and cock-milking. Those hours have more value than any of us realize.

I think it was Billy Crystal who observed Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

Women have no clue as to how often men think about sex. Perhaps even about their naked wifes. If only wifes realized that men desired them even after 4 kids and any kind of surgery imaginable. That men look at womens breasts and body parts..with lust and desire...kinda like they see your body and desire to touch it...lavish it..no matter how it has changed.
They don't care when it gets down to it if your toenail polish is chipped.

The result of the joining together is still just as wonderful as the day they married you.

But women start to feel unnattractive. To much emphasis is on self image. And most Americans both men and women are hung up about our nudity and sensuality. Certain acts seem dirty. Only certain kind of women do those kind of things....

You and I know how wrong that is.
But it is a reality.

Believe it or not..I never had oral sex until 4 years ago.



I can't even begin to imagine sex without oral pleasure.

I grew up in a generation where parents didn't talk about sex....and of course nakedness was not next to Godliness. I think my generation is in the closet when it comes to sex. You married and you had one position..I used to call it him on top..now I know plenty of positions. Marriage sex was like bread and margarine. Not even butter!

Well now I know different...but that still puts millions of others out there that have desires and also haven't explored their own bodies..opened up sexually. What do you do?

And now we are hit square in the face with ALL this sex. Primetime. All over the web. I think we are in a sexual revolution.

And we still have desires and needs.
When I stumbled into this hobby, I was amazed. I was like astounded. I had no idea there were so many marriages like mine  and that people could come together and share their fantasies and lust and still keep realtionships/marriages intact.
To me this was an eye-opener.
I couldn't believe how many sex tharapists there were in the world!!  

Yes I have a hobby!!  






-- Modified on 6/9/2008 2:23:28 PM

Thanks for sharing your honest thoughts & personal insights showing your humanness!

Always interesting to hear personal views from an experienced provider. Keep sharing!

as a resultof my relationship, my retirement coming...could be another pun!! And my kids Grandfather just passed last week. He was married  to Grandma for 55 years. When we look at these marriages most of the time we don't see intimacy. It isn't modeled for us.


I just saw this documentary on this famoue surfer. He made it his goal to find a woman who was sexual and he loved pussy. Those were his words. His kids grew up with their own hands over there ears at night in the motor home they lived in..every night!!  

That is an extreme example. The other extreme is to not be able to imagine your parents ever having sex to begin with.
Neither works. Our society is nakedly vulnerable.

So while the family was together during Grandpa's funeral his daughter shared this story with us.

Grandpa went out with the guys...and Grandm was livid!
He was in the USAF. In fact he will be buried in a few months at Arlington National. Anyway...Grandpa comes home and he finds the bedroom door locked. And Grandpa is mad now...

So what does he do? He gets in and takes Grandma to the bathroom and gives her a spanking!

All I could think of was what happened next!!

We don't always know the intimacy shared. But when we hear these kinds of stories we get that glimpse that we never would have believed, not in a million years!

-- Modified on 6/9/2008 3:08:57 PM

Thanks Caroline! It's really nice to hear a girl that really Gets It. There alot of different reasons guys get into the hobby. I'm married 30+ (I'm 55) but still love my wife. It's just that something's missing sexually. I've also had some medical issues over the last year or so that got me into the hobby. I do get to the Carolinas on business a couple of times a year (Charlotte and Charleston) and would love to look you up.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

I am in a sad reflective mood today and the compassion in your post really touched me.  Thanks for sharing your thoughts I agree we all want and need intimacy.

That's the way I prefer to administer orally to a lady, but some want it different and I do my best to accommodate.

The Celtics lead the Lakers 2-0

I hope you don't stay sad for long. There is more basketball coming soon!!

Really..I wouldn't want to make you sad. Hopeful and understood. Yes

I agree, Carolina.  I feel more like a sex therapist than an escort most of the time.  I prefer a long appointment with the intimacy, the carressing, the toughing, kissing and pampering.

Hugs,
Ciara

No your post helped me feel better. I really appreciated your sharing. I am pulling for the Celtics also

She gets it. The first time I met her,(she was fairly new to the profession at that time), I asked what got her started as a provider and how she felt about it. She said she loved sex and "It's just sex."
But over time, she's come to realize that I and most of her other clients (at least the repeats) are really looking for not just the sex, but the companionship, shared intimacy, and mutual pleasure that comes from making a "connection" - however temporary.

I am far from a senior level hobbyiest with hundreds of encounters or even dozens of reviews, but for now, I've got an ATF who I see regularly. She not only provides me the most amazing physical pleasures, but she responds to me in the most incredible ways. It is unbelievably empowering as a guy to have a sexy, beautiful woman enjoy being with you rather than making it seem like she's suffering through an obligation. While many of my hobby encounters attempted to replicate that feeling, in this one case, I know it's genuine and not an act.

Thanks for listening doc.  LOL

Your ATF is one lucky gal.

And hearing you describe your relationship makes me very proud to be able to say I'm someone's ATF too!

Hey... everybody loves somebody sometime...

What's the point otherwise?

You could always buy a blow up doll.

The mental connection is where all the fun begins.

I'm short of a special someone at the moment..

I remember our date like it was yesterday instead of over 3 years ago

Secret Lovers...sounds S E X Y

I too say its great to see you

I'm trying to get to the Dc area for one last fling...maybe we can secret lover

xoxo

Sexy Carolina