Since you guys all seem to have nothing but nice things to say about providers, would you want your daughter to grow up and become one?

Not as long as so many other guy's daughters are signing up

it's like "would you want your daughter to marry a fill-in-the-blank man?" or woman for that matter.

as a parent i have never treated my children equally. always fairly in some sense, but never equally. each individual has different needs, different strengths, different weaknesses. therefore each child requires different treatment.

BTW i wish that some providers and agencies would realize the same thing about their clients: realize that individuals are not averages. i generally find treating an individual as some statistical average to be an affront to the individual annoying whether it is myself or another. but i digress....

so the best i can answer is that if i had a daughter who had the inclination, skills, street smarts to go into this business and i was given an opportunity to weigh in my response would be:

1) to ask her what she hoped to gain by doing so, what are her motivations, are her goals attainable, etc.

2) to lay out for her all the possible risks to make sure she had carefully considered the down sides

3) to then step back and let her make her own decision after being as sure as possible i had been as informative as i could be.

that 3-step pattern is how i generally dealt with my maturing children or any adult i might presume to advise. i find that those who know me well know that when i give information i am not trying to usurp their decision making. those who know me less well make mistakes about my motives. another digression......

if she then decided to proceed i would likely still be worried and do something like watch her back from afar, trying to not be intrusive. providers have told me some horror stories and i have stumbled across some that i think i would have to say it is a very risky profession.

but this is all very much contrary to fact, an exercise in fantasy. my daughters do not have the inclinations or skill sets.



-- Modified on 8/21/2009 11:01:05 PM

My family knows all about what I do for "work". They have no issue as I have put my sister and myself through school. The way my father sees it at least I'm not doing it in public via porn, my business is private. Please keep in mind every provider you have ever seen is someones daughter.

not to be argumentative, but i think that my looser and less authoritarian approach as i outlined above is a good way to ensure good decisions. OTOH the attitude that a child WILL NOT do something is often the perfect motivation to guarantee that the child will do it.

i remember one occasion when i went through the process i described with one of my kids making a decision. the kid decided to go ahead and do it anyway after our talk. i kept my mouth shut and the experiment was abandoned, i think, sooner than if i had made a fuss.

my gentle non authoritarian process has led to a wonderful set of kids that i have to say are better humans than either of their parents.

No, but if She did  I would still love her and give her support.

NWIH! I have seen/heard/experienced both sides of this coin long enough to recognize the ill effects one can derive from this mess. And they are not limited. They are staggering. I would like my daughter to appreciate 'tradition'. Sorry

If your daughter decides to become a provider, will you be able to stop her? Think not.

No one has total control over the decisions their children make.  Having said that, if you raise your children with a sense of values and freedom, yes it is possible, they usually do not end up in a profession that you may not love, but that you respect and can live with.  Having said that, when you talk about sex with your kids, if you talk at all about hobbying or prostitution, and the latter subject will come up I assure you, your response will color their perceptions.  It would be interesting to know how you would respond to their question or how you speak in a general conversation about the subject.  Because even subtle comments or facial expressions are easily picked up.  And I would bet that you are not as open minded as you think you are.


IMHO

Is the love and light of my life.What I want is  for her to have a fulfilling life . I do not so much care if her success can be measured in dollars but rather in happiness.

There is the old adage the peach does not fall far from the tree...I think my daughter realistically is the one person most like me on this planet .I believe it is entirely possible she will follow a similar path regardless of how very scared that would make me.

I as a parent am a provider of safety , love education ,shelter , emotional support , monetary support and of course someone she can yell at when no one else will listen I am in short her Guardian .I am the one who helps her to build her foundation going forward . Hopefully giving her the skills she needs to negotiate her way threw life .
             
I am hopeful she will be the artist she says she would like to beFor now crayola is making a fortune Kendall

There are really two issues here, one is legal and the other is ethical.  Let's leave aside the legal part for the moment and all that it entails and boil it down to one question:  Would you be happy/comfortable/proud if your daughter became a provider? Be honest.

and plyed this trade with its stated ideals, I would be very happy with that.

I know many providers pretty well, and I am impressed with how ethical and satisfied with their lives they are.

In fact, I am jealous if truth be told.  The business I am in is viewed by the public as solid and upstanding, if not virtuous; but the truth be told, it has slid a lot and I would not councel anyone to enter it at this point.  I am so glad that I'm at the far end of the road rather than just starting out.

I can easily think of ten other trades I would prefer my children not to enter over escorting.

I can only hope that society matures to the point where this field can be legitimate some day in the eyes of the public.

Appreciate the advise. I bet most people on this board knew the answer!

This is one of them. Why? First, it is a belittling question for those who are providers. Second, one already knows what the answers are going to be. Third, being judgemental of others is not good thing, regardless who, what and choice.

What answer did you expect from puritanical society? Yes I would?

...to choose the other options available to her.

If I choose to ever have children, they will not ever look at this profession as an option. Perhaps she will have a sugar daddy or a couple of gentlemen who spoil her, but she will not have this solely as her line of work.

My opinion is that there are bigger and better things for my future seeds...these things WILL be realized.

Kids over 18 have the right to pick and choose. Wouldnt want her to be a provider, maybe a doctor or teacher but if she picks being a provider i would still love her.

all my children are grown, independent, doing OK, and in my opinion each is an "improvement" over both of their parents.

a reason why i am spending effort on this topic is that their mother had a different attitude from mine. she was willing to try yo make choices for the children. as they matured i felt that the kids should make their own.

there were one or two close calls when their mother's opposition to a choice strengthened their determination to follow a path that looked rather risky. OTOH i think that my less judgemental approach gave them permission and acceptance enough to do what was genuinely right for themselves.

be very careful of making decisions for a child once they think they are competent to decide for themselves. they may decide to do what you don't want just to prove their independence.

The backbone of freedom is that every person can do what she/he wants so if she decides to become a provider and she is happy with it, fine.. as long as she charges high rates.

Who in their right mind would CHOOSE for their daughter to earn their living by taking the risks that you ladies take on a daily basis??

You literally risk your lives and health each and every time you open the door to a new stranger.  Screening aside, each new appointment could be the one who gets his kicks robbing, injuring, or even killing "whores".  You risk arrest every time you greet a new client.

No, this would be FAR down the list of professions I would choose for her.

I remain, however, in awe of those of you who choose to do it and do it well.

"I wouldn't want to be a member of any club that has me as a member"

Now being serious, I don't have kids but I wouldn't want it for my daughter if I ever have one. Reason is I don't think all hobbyists respect providers the way we see in these boards. TER is not your average sex industry. Life can be a lot more cruel for providers in other arenas

-- Modified on 8/22/2009 1:48:25 PM

Hahaha-I was waiting for someone to post this since some idiot asked providers if they'd want their kids doing it last month.

The question is faulty because it assumes being a provider is qualitatively different from other professions; when it isn't.

In America, parents want their children to fair better than themselves.

The plumber wants his son to be an engineer. The "window treatment" designer wants her daughter to be a lawyer. Etc. Etc.

Steel workers have the highest death rate of any profession in the country. I bet they don't want their kids to be steel workers. Same for coal miners.

It is only when you get to the very top of the heap that you find parents wanting their kids to be the same profession as themselves.

So the fact that a lot of providers wouldn't want their kids to be providers is utterly meaningless as it says nothing in particular about the profession.

But to answer the question: no. I want my daughter to marry a bright, ethical and handsome man who treats her as well as humanly possible so I don't have to kill him. I want her to work in a profession that she really loves so even when on the job, she never has to work a day in her life.

And, yes, I only have nice things to say about the providers I've met. But that's because my selection process is based more on personality than any other factor -- so I meet genuinely nice women.

In addition, the TER feedback mechanism tends to eliminate the truly bad providers from most clients' consideration; which will tend to give them biases based upon an above average sample.