Excerpted from "Sex in the Romance: A Review of Romantic Encounters of the Close Kind".
(copyright John L. Ferri 1994, [email protected])
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Breathing
During arousal and subsequent sexual intercourse, there are physiological changes in both the male and the female. Breathing, heart rate, and blood pressure are the systems most commonly measured, although there are certainly other indicators. Of all the changes that occur during sex, the breathing rate is the most obvious.
During arousal, it increases from a resting rate to 35-40 breaths per minute. During orgasm, it may increase to over 50 breaths per minute then gradually return to normal. Breathing may also be irregular, shallow, or unsteady and may be accompanied by panting, moaning and sighing of varying intensities.
The affected breathing is evident to a casual observer and would not require instruments other than an ear to detect. Similar changes occur in heart rate and blood pressure, but would remain undetected because they occur silently.
Of all the physiological systems that are affected by sexual intercourse, breathing is the only one that can be voluntarily controlled. The average person has no control over the involuntary systems such as heart rate, blood pressure, erection status, lubrication, or miscellaneous swellings. However, these occur quietly so that controlling them becomes unnecessary. Changes in breathing beg for attention but can, with concentration, be controlled.
This is wonderful news for couples who have sex in locations that tend to lack privacy -- like airplanes, subways, the office at work, or even at home if your bedroom is next to your mother-in-law's. It requires practice to be effective at quiet sex and a tape recorder to monitor progress. The next time you have sex, record it. If, from the tape, you can tell that it is a recording of someone having sex, you need more practice.
The bad news is that, because of the inherent motions of sex, the low-level seismic activity is almost impossible to conceal. Even the sturdiest beds, chairs, tables, and desks tend to squeak, creak, and groan under the punishing thrashing and pounding of sex (if performed correctly). Even in a completely soundless situation, low frequency vibrations and undulations are transmitted over short distances through walls, floors, and other seemingly rigid structures. These movements are easily detected, and require only a perceptive observer.
You may be in a situation where you are both so incredibly aroused that sex is inevitable. My first recommendation would be to wait for a more private location, such as a motel room. However, when sex is involved, urgency usually overrules many of the normal considerations. So from the above discussion, I will present a few guidelines to minimize detection.
1. Control your breathing. This also includes moaning, sighing, and screaming. If the moment is extremely passionate, it may require you to bury your face in a pillow or shoulder or anything available. You also may have to stuff something suitable in your mouth, or your partner's.
2. Control your movements. This depends on the situation and location. It may require little restraint, or it may require control that is difficult to maintain. And it requires control from both participants.
Depending on the situation, you may have to use various degrees of restraint. However, if you eliminate the heavy breathing, the panting, the groaning, the thrusting, and the screaming, you may as well take a nap. Some things are just not worth doing unless they're done right.
The romance authors liked some form of "gasping" 26% of the time that breathing was referenced. Next came "panting" at 9% and "sucking" at 8%.
Additional breathing descriptions are:
Agonized gasps
air was forced from her lungs
breath rush in and out
breathing hurt her lungs
breathless urgent gasps
caught in her throat
choppy
deeply
deep, shuddering
desperate rhythm
emerging in gasps
fast and hard
forced the breath from her lungs
fought for more oxygen
gasping
gasping at his touch
grew short
halted
hard
harsh and uneven
harsh rush of his breath
he fought for his breath
heavily
heaving like a bellows
hissed
hot and moist
in fits and starts
in little gasps
irregular
labored
more rapidly
panting
pulled in a lungful of air
punctuated gasps
quick and shallow
quickening
ragged
ragged gasps
ragged sigh
rapid
shallow
shallow and fast
shallow pants
shivering inhale
short little spurts
short, harsh gasps
short, heated breaths
short, sharp gasps
shuddering in breaths of gasping completion
sucked air through her teeth
sucked in a quick breath
sucked in a sharp breath,
sucked in a startled breath
sucking in lungfuls of air as spasms of delight rocketed through her
sucking in panting breath
unsteady
warm and erratic
whispering shallowly from her lungs.
PRE
Male Orgasm -
I Came, Therefore I Am
When does sex actually start? When does it end? These are difficult questions that depend entirely on the definition of sex. To simplify matters but still leave the start and stop open, I'll define sex (short for sexual intercourse) as the intimate interaction of two individuals who care for each other with the goal of mutual pleasure and satisfaction. For the female, the perceived start may be a subtle glance from her mate, or a passing kiss, even a gentle touch. Her perception of the end is possibly when her mate moves from her. For the male, it starts with penetration and ends with his orgasm. This is not to say that he stops at this point, but until then it's sex. Afterward, it's a challenge.
Few men will agree with this, and few women will disagree. The situation is very fortunate for the male because of the perceived duration of sex. For any given sexual encounter, the female's estimate for the length of the act will be from five to ten times the male's estimate.
So, if the subject of duration ever comes up in the locker room or on the golf course, when everyone else is bragging five minutes, ten minutes, even fifteen minutes, you can confidently, through female perspective, throw out "an hour and a half" and back it up with a note from home.
In the list below, there was no overwhelming winner. Some form of "climax" and "release" each were used 11% of the time that the male orgasm was referenced. Next were "spill" at 8%, and "explode" at 5%.
The complete list is:
Abandoned himself to pleasure
allowed his molten juices to intermingle with hers
arched and cried her name
bringing him with her
bucked within her
came inside her
climaxed
climaxed together in minutes
convulsed
convulsed against her
convulsing in spasm
cry of deliverance
embalming injection
erotic release
exploded
exploded inside her
exploded within her
exploding into her
explosion of bliss
felt his hot seed spill into her
fiery culmination
final glorious moment
final moment
final moment of ecstasy
flooded himself into her
found release
frenzy of simultaneous explosions
glorious waves of splendor
great cry
groaned in blissful agony
groaned long and low
harsh groan of masculine satisfaction
his seed spilling into her
incredible climax
it began
jarring, pulsing climax
let go
lightning bolts of fulfillment
longest, hottest release of his life
lost control
love's sweet lava flowed
magnificent body shuddered
passion crested
plunged over the crest
poured himself into her
pulsating waves of pleasure
pulsating within her
pulsing life flooding her
release
releasing himself
rocketed through the universe
rode the wild and wonderful waves of sheer ecstasy
shattering release
she felt something burst inside her
shook violently
shuddered and convulsed
shuddering release
slamming thrusts of climax
soared over the edge
spent itself within her
spilled himself into her hand
spilled his seed
spilling himself
staccato spasms
stiffened in release
they came
ultimate joy
uninhibited cry of satisfaction
white-hot eruption
Appropriately missing from the list are "greased her monkey", "shot his load", "popped his wad", and the all too frequent "creamed his jeans."
Female Orgasm -
You Came, Therefore I Am
What is the goal of sex? For willing partners that care for each other, answers would include pleasure, comfort, love, relaxation, closeness, and tenderness. These and many others are partially correct, but if the list doesn't include procreation, it is grossly incomplete. The participants may be performing for other shorter term reasons, but ultimately, the goal of sex is to propagate the species.
What is actually needed for this propagation? The full requirements are a male and female each with the proper reproductive plumbing, and a system capable of delivering enough sperm to successfully fertilize an egg, if present. Ignoring artificial means, the delivery system is an erect penis. The male orgasm serves two purposes. First, it is the pumping mechanism for the sperm. Second, because it is extremely pleasurable, it is a strong motivating force that makes the positioning of the delivery system a very high priority for most males between fifteen and twenty-five years old. (After twenty-five years of age, it drops to just a high priority.)
So that everyone understands the concept, thus far we have the female and her reproductive system, the male and his, and the male orgasm. Where does the female orgasm fit? It doesn't. It's not needed for reproduction. (Some believe that pregnancy can't occur unless the female has an orgasm. They're called parents.)
For the female, sex can be pleasurable even without orgasm. However, if the female orgasm had never evolved, there would be much less of a motivating force for the female to want to have sex. Enter evolution with its incessant trials and errors and dead-ends and successes. The female evolved with a mechanism, the orgasm, whose sole purpose is to increase the frequency of sex. It makes sex pleasurable for her thus greatly increasing her desire for sex, thus increasing her frequency of sex, and thus increasing the probability of impregnation, which is the purpose of sex in the first place.
How does all this affect the male? So as not to defeat the grand scheme of evolution, it is to his benefit to see to it that his partner has an orgasm. As the saying goes, "It ain't over until the fat lady sings." Or more appropriately, "It ain't over until the lady shudders and screams."
The romance authors used some form of "release" 9% of the time, and "climax", "explode", and "spasm" each at 6%.
Others are:
Blinding, pulsing moment of release
blood-rushing climax
burned to a cinder
burst of ecstasy
came, wildly, explosively
came with soul-shattering intensity
clench deep inside her
climax of passion
climaxed together in minutes
climaxed
coming
completion
convulsed around him
convulsed into a chain of spasms
convulsive release
cry a scream
crying out
dizzying explosion of feeling
erotic release
erupted in dazzling undulations
exploded in sensation
exploded inside
exploded into a thousand pieces
explosion of ecstasy
explosive climax
fiery, cataclysmic response
final explosion
final glorious moment
final moment of ecstasy
final shattering release
final threshold of passion
found what she was seeking
frenzied explosion of exquisite sensation
frenzy of simultaneous explosions
gasping completion
glorious peak
glorious waves of splendor
great shuddering, clenching spasms
her body milking it from him
how quickly she peaked
incredible climax
intolerable pleasure
love's sweet lava flowed
molten sensation of total release
moment of release
orgasm
over the edge
overwhelming spasms
passion crested
plunged over the crest
profound shudder
pulsating waves of pleasure
reached her peak
reached their pinnacle
reaching a crescendo
release
rhythmic convulsions
riding on a wave of frenzy
ripples of ecstasy flooded through her
rode the wild and wonderful waves of sheer ecstasy
screamed against his throat
screamed in ecstasy
seized by a rush of sensation so intense
sensual waves
she cried out with unabashed abandon
shimmering in spasm
shuddered in completion
shuddered uncontrollably
spasms of pleasure
spasms
spewing forth a fountain
stiffen in climax
sweet and final cry
sweet death
sweet simultaneous miracle
that final moment
that strong, lovely sensation began to claim her again
they came
thrashed
tidal wave of enormous power
trembled on the very edge of infinity
tremors of ecstasy
ultimate joy
uncontrollable, shuddering contractions
uninhibited cry of satisfaction
wave after wave of rapture
wave of orgasm hit her
whimpered in a climax
wild eruption of pleasure
wild wave of pleasure
The two previous sections covered both female and male orgasms but made little or no reference to the simultaneous variety. Although plentiful in the romance novels, a most unique description of this elusive delight can be found in Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure, (a.k.a. Fanny Hill) and is described as
. . . she clos'd her eyes in the sweet death, in the instant of which she was embalm'd by an injection, . .
on the rhythmic, pulsating, convulsive, wave-like nature of a female O.
Isn't sex great?
You said to pick one..
Shuderring in Breaths of Gasping Completion.