-- Modified on 4/5/2004 9:22:29 AM

I would think most providers would be reluctant to go broadcasting to their clientele that they have an SO they are close to, as some guys may not be keen on that.  I may be wrong, but I wonder.

Well I am more at ease about this then my provider friend is.  It would only be a huge issue for me if we were to be husband and wife. I am not saying I like it and am comfortible with it. Just that I am more at ease than she is.

I wish she would retire and spend a life with me.

Without having that I still wnat a relationship with here and we both keep our spouses.  Not as good as having each other all to ourselves , but better that not having each other at all.

...to a far greater extent than most men, or at least some providers are OK with it. I agree completely that it is far more problematical emotional gymnastics for a man who is used to a conventional relationship. I personally would have no problem having a relationship with a provider who was out of the business, retired and had this phase of her life over and done with completely. I don't subscribe to that somewhat antiquated view that when a woman has s*x that she is somehow damaged goods but when a man has s*x it's a "right of passage" and a measure of his virility and appeal to the opposite sex, or in this community perhaps a measure of his affluence.

The reason I would find it difficult to engage the services of a provider that I knew to be married or in a committed relationship would center on trying to put myself in her SO's place and have some sort of feel for how that might affect him, even if he seems to be OK with it. I personally would NOT be OK with it but that is merely my personal perspective. I'm not trying to be judgemental here.

I was quite misinterpreted in an earlier thread about providers and SO's. Being male I approach this from the perspective of a male and I wonder about how some men are able to deal with their wife or SO working as a provider. I'm not suggesting that a provider is NOT entitled to a relationship outside of her work as a provider, is NOT entitled to experiencing LOVE, that is not my position at all. I was trying to imagine myself in the position of the man in such a relationship. There are evidently some men out there who can "handle" it. I would NOT include myself among them.

-- Modified on 4/5/2004 5:31:35 PM

-- Modified on 4/5/2004 5:37:37 PM

-- Modified on 4/5/2004 6:03:09 PM

-- Modified on 4/5/2004 9:19:23 PM

what do you mean by that.  Open minded but no cigar.?

My thoughts too, I wish the love of my life who became a provider would retire and be mine, because I hate sharing her affections. And it does stress me out.

...of why I would find it difficult, if not impossible, to engage the services of a provider that is married or in a committed relationship.

"If you meant can we do this and have an SO in the marital/carnal sense; No Way can I do that...I dont think that I would want to be with someone who was okay with my having sexual relations with others....something about that doesnt sit right in my world..."

This is precisely on point, at least in part, as to why I indicated in an earlier thread that I would not engage in the hobby if I were married or in a committed relationship myself.The other part of the equation I have explained in a previous post. Once again I am not passing judgement on those who are married or in a committed relationship who engage in the hobby.  It simply would not be the right choice for me.

Re:I have been in a loving relationship for over 11 years...

MEOWZZZZAAAAA!