guy and a girl are walking down the isle and the guy is thinking how happy he is that he will get BJ's every day while the girl thinks: "I can finally stop sucking dick".

One person's happiness is another person's misery, and vice versa.

Woman insists on going out with a man to see if he is worth sleeping with and man sleeps with woman to see is she is worth going out with


Guess somewhere along the way they gotta reach same schedule


Lina

1) Beat me, slap me, kick me, fuck me, come on my tits, then Get The Fuck Out! (actually, it was a T-shirt).
2) I (heart) animals.  They're delicious! (above a bar in Breckinridge, Colorado)
3) Dick Cheney eats kittens (on the back window of my daughter's Jeep).
4) How's my driving?  Dial 1-800-EAT-SHIT.

Getting Married is like climbing into a bath tub.
  After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.

.....Husbands who come home early kill people.

Take my boobs off your eyes!
Free mustache rides!

I love it because it causes people to collapse into apoplectic fits.