(All answers are MY personal opinion only)
Q. A girl lets say, 18 gets into the scene. What’s her life span in the industry? 10-20yrs if she doesn’t bail and mother nature and the doctors keep her fit.
A. Girls get in the biz at all ages. When a woman gets in at a young age I seriously doubt she is thinking about her future. When you are young you think you’re invincible and that the money will always be there. When a woman is a little older she may have already had an education and/or career and woke up one day to find she had nothing to show for it. Once Uncle Sam get a hold of your paycheck it makes you wonder why you even get up everyday and go to work if you bring so little home. IMHO women who are a little older and have had careers seem to manage their “business” and their lives much better than the younger girls who have less experience in life.
The Porn Industry "is" different than providing. Porn is based on looks more than personality. A provider need to look nice to attract clients, but in the end it’s really the ability to establish rapport with her clients and make them feel comfortable that keeps them coming back for more.
Q. What’s worse is...
There actually is someone who wants her. But something that has happened to her tells her she is not worthy or that she just is so scared to believe it.
A. I agree with that 100%. A lot of girls don’t want to admit that their past "normal" lives may have had something to do with why they are in the biz. Yes, too many women are in denial. I was actually surprised to find that a lot of girls in the porn industry have strict "religious" backgrounds (doesn’t matter which religion) and felt so repressed that they ended up acting out sexually. I know of one girl who had some sexual abuse when she was a child. When asked if she thought that contributed to her entering the biz she said, "It wasn’t the reason I got into the biz, but it opened the door. Just like Marijuana and Alcohol are "gateway" drugs to other serious narcotics, sexual abuse is the gateway to prostitution. It may not open the door, but it sure unlocks it".
Q. So I guess what I would say she should do is...take those chances, never apologize for anything you honestly did...and never look back.,,,most importantly, allow yourself to be loved.... you will be surprised
A. I agree. I always say:” I’m not proud of what I do, but I'm not ashamed of it either". I used to wonder if I'd ever have a "normal" life after this, all indications say yes. I’m comfortable with my life decision and choices. But I know that the reason I think my future is bright is because I Love myself and believe in myself and that makes all the difference in the world.
Q. Saving money, making wise investments, preparation...etc. are all important. But...more important is enjoying our lives NOW. Too many people work their entire lives waiting for retirement and die before they get there.
A. I've been in the biz two years and I was warned upfront by several providers I associate with that the first year "nobody saves any money". Of course I thought I'd be different...yeah right. I didn’t save any money either. Now in year two+ I'm saving money and working on a "retirement" plan. Unfortunately most girls don’t save any money or have a retirement plan. You really think you're going to be able to do this forever, but if you're smart you'll start saving the money, or at least have the sense to buy a house and a car to have something to show for it when you get out. Whether a girl has something to show for this or not in the end all depends on the girl, and every girl is different.
Q. I think the emotional dimension of "life after providing" could be almost as big an issue as the career dimension. When you are in a "performance-rated" profession, it is easy to fall into the trap of measuring who you are by what you do and how well you do it. The "who you are" is much more than "what you do", however. How do providers deal with this issue? Or is it an issue?
A. I think it all depends on the girl’s upbringing and how she felt about herself and the biz BEFORE she got into it. If she was taught that this is a bad thing then she will have a harder time with it. If this sort of thing was no big deal then she'll have an easy time of it. If she's comfortable with herself and her life and her choices, then it wont be an issue. Again, it all depends on the girl.
Q. I know in Vegas many wonderful women in their 40's and older who are still very busy, look much younger than their age and have a full and rich personal life...
A. Again, unlike pornography this biz is more about personality than looks. "The Life" isn’t some bad 70's movie where the girls get beat up every day by her pimp and they are man haters, etc. There are different levels of the biz and on the street level you get a lot of girls who are on drugs or alcohol, have 7 kids to support or a stuck with a pimp (manager/boyfriend/driver/whatever they are calling themselves these days).
The Internet has done SO MUCH to allow independent women to get into the biz. Many of these women REALLY ARE educated and non-drug users. Many of these women really DO enjoy their work and lead "normal" lives.
The Internet allows the women to create websites that showcase who they are. It's no longer anonymous "fun" in the backseat of a car in some alley (THANK YOU HEIDI FLIESS & SIDNEY BIDDLE BARROWS/THE MAYFLOWER MADAM - they helped put some real class into the biz).
On many levels it truly is "companionship". I love the internet because it makes the providers more human to their clients...their clients are reminded that they are real people with real feeling, etc. It’s hard to feel cheap when you're treated with respect.
Q. The best advice is to live life to the fullest, do as little emotional and physical damage as can be and save for future.
Yes ladies, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF while you're in and know when it's time to get out.
Q. It seems to me that more often than not, the providers I have met are planning for their future. They have skills beyond the bedroom (ie-webmasters, designers, etc.), have been investing $$ and in IRAs for retirement, and have some clear business plan.
A. Yes! Many of us DO have skills beyond the bedroom. When gentlemen ask me what I did before this biz they are always surprised by the answer. They are also surprised that I speak, read and write a foreign language fluently, and that all around I'm a pretty bright girl. It used to actually offend me that they thought I was an idiot, I mean really; if I'm doing this then I clearly can’t do anything else right? I'm not offended anymore, I realize that its just a stereotype that we ALL have to live with. But thanks to the Internet and sites like this that stereotype is changing.
Q. I believe, as do most intelligent indies, that they are in fact running a small business, and as such have had to develop at least a basic game plan.
A. AMEN SISTER! I've learned more about Marketing, Sales and running a small biz doing this than at any other "real" job I've ever had. Again, it just depends on the girl. A smart girl will take this seriously and do it right, and the not so smart ones wont. That’s just the way it is....
Sable
