Was wondering others thoughts on bypassing the assistant when the provider requests that in the future you to contact her directly instead of going through the assistant again.

She's much more prompt with requests for available and giving the "all clear" on game day.

You get that feeling of jealousy.  These arrangements between sex workers and these type of assistants never ends good ,judging from a few cases I know of.

If I can make initial contact with the lady directly, usually she informs the assistant-of-the-moment that I'm OK and please finish up the booking.  So it's a win all around.  

Pimps don't like bypass because they're the boss.  An assistant works for the boss.

There is another model besides pimps and hired assistants.  Prime example is K-Girls in SF Bay area.  The org handles work apartments, provides the PO (scheduling assistant), and exercises some control, but the girls are free to leave, go home, join another org, or travel.

Then I would bypass the booker, I've done it before but only when the young lady gave me her direct line. But consider this, if the booker finds out and the booker has other ladies in their stable who you have considered meeting, then you could get the shitty service going forward or the booker could "blackball" you or make it on tough on you. You may not know if the lady you're interested in the future uses the same booker....but it the chance you take.
I've done it when the opportunity presented itself. I wouldn't worry too much about it...just don't expect that 20 percent discount
One thing, if it's a agency girl....then you can almost forget about using that agency again. It could get tricky

a Kgirl or an American Indie. Which is it?

"if the booker finds out and the booker has other ladies in their stable who you have considered meeting, then you could get the shitty service going forward"

I'd like to jump in here because it seems many of you gentleman have a lack of education when it comes to the position and responsibilities of a true courtesan's assistant. We exist because, for better are worse, many men are careless, indiscriminate, or simply cannot be trusted. Sadly these traits are often not discovered until after the fact. Therefore many women who make a certain investment in their lives as courtesans need help maintaining and protecting that investment. Nearly all also live lives few men know about. Personal lives with children, companions, and other jobs. They build walls between the personal, private and professional. We as assistants guard those walls. We provide them peace of mind as they safely pursue a life free from speculation and judgement. We screen their clients, arrange their travel, keep their schedules and back up their alibis. One of the challenges many ladies face, almost universally is keeping a regular client invested. To keep things from getting stale and the gentleman moving on, it is important for the gentleman to feel the relationship is growing. This almost always at some point leads to exchanges of phone numbers, etc. And while of course their must be some trust extended in welcoming you to contact her directly it is not a new part of the dance. It is something that behind the scenes we all understand as inevitable and there is typically no ill will generated by it. In most cases we know in advance and are paid just the same. I am of course speaking for real assistants of true courtesans. If you are seeing women who are using boyfriends, husbands, and pimps, you are seeing the wrong women.

You have described the process, and the change from a date here or there with the same guy, into a regular, or even possibly a LTR, spot on as I have experienced it. There are expectations when two people get closer and closer over many dates in this lifestyle, as long as those expectations stay within a professional boundary. One of those expectations is an exchange of cells, as you state.  
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The only issue I have with what you are saying is your last sentence. I personally don't care if the girl is using a boyfriend or husband to act as her assistant. As far as I know, it has only been a few occasions with very few women who have done this, in my experience but I can never be sure of that of course.  
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Now leaving the word "pimp" out of this argument, as that word has a very negative connotation, I dont think I am seeing the "wrong women" if they happen to use a SO as their assistant. Now you may have meant something different than the way I took that, so pardon me in advance if that is the case. But again, I really don't care what the relationship that exists between the assistant and the provider, as long as I am treated with respect and professionalism. Do you not agree with that?  
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Thanks for your take, as it was a well thought out and a very well written post. Nice to hear from an assistant as many of us deal with them regularly but very few ever post here, at least speaking from the assistants POV. Great post!

when a provider you are working with decides to work directly with a customer that you still get paid.  Having that kind of leverage where you can fuck up the business of an employer if you don't still get paid despite making no contribution to the sale does not happen in too many businesses.  Kudos for always making sure you get a slice of the pie, . . . . . but not the same pie the customer is getting.  Lol

The comment "husbands, boyfriends, and pimps" was meant in reference to an earlier post. I apologize if that was not clear. It may be necessary to review for proper context. Thank you.

-- Modified on 12/13/2024 3:45:01 PM

I am paid because I provide a valuable service. Women who employ assistants are in most cases simply seeking the freedom to pursue a normal life beyond being a courtesan. Assistants help maintain the boundaries that give them that chance. It is about commitment and trust, not leverage.

I don’t care. If that’s what she wishes works for me. The assistant isn’t sucking my dick.

a bonus IN CASE you ever need it.  The leverage exists whether you have ever needed it or not.  If you haven't ever needed it, then it just means you have a good working relationship with the boss and commitment and trust has been working for the two of you so far, and that's good.  

I suppose I see your point should the relationship ever degrade. I think the main reason it seldom does is in most cases regardless of who the gent communicates with the assistant still needs to know about the appointment. There are seldom secrets between the lady and her assistant because it is the assistant’s job to manage the lady’s schedules in a way that literally keeps her worlds from colliding. Between the lady and her assistant, transparency is paramount. Failure to communicate is dangerous. As I said, I think many ladies will lead a gentleman to assume they are allowing them direct contact, to circumvent their assistant as a way of making them feel closer, like a wall has been taken down or you have moved beyond the room of smoke and mirrors. When, in reality, you have simply moved to a new room with new smoke and new mirrors. I have worked with a few who are experts at this. Sometimes I feel sorry for the gent as they can have genuine feelings, but it is all part of the dance. I do however believe in full disclosure which is partially why I’m posting.

Perhaps we are not “sucking [your] dick” but there are still reasons you should be considerate. How many have thought about how easy it would be for an assistant to open a TER account as a hobbyist? Read reviews and comments? Get VIP and then actually PM you and ask questions when you think you are talking with another hobbyist? Another guy? And when we recognize a review of a provider connect the handle to the person we screened for that very visit? Have any of you ever wondered if there is a list of who is who on TER circulated among the assistants? Or how we might use it? Not just to read the locker room talk? So many crass comments! Things one might re-think if one realized anyone actually knew who you really are? There are many un-gentlemanly things said behind the cloak of a TER handle, are they not? Though we have been called the CIA of this business, I am not trying to actually threaten anyone. My point here simply is…. you might want to be kind to assistants if for no other reason than, trust me, we are kind to you every day.

Who isn’t being kind to assistants? I don’t give a shit about your relationship with your client is. It’s up to her to decide.

I apologize. My above was not meant to be directed at you specifically. Your phrasing simply made a convenient segue. And, well , some are not kind. Sadly there are men in this business who on occasion must be said no to. Some take it well while others become rude and childish. Some can even become threatening and it is for these few, mind you very few, men we feel the need to keep "the pistol in the cash drawer" so to speak?  How this relates to the OP and his question regarding reasons why one might continue to consider the assistant when the lady says it is ok to bypass, one might consider that we protect the client as well as the courtesan even though it is not as overt. I would say in that way it is your concern. One way I have seen this play out is a gentleman offers to simply leave a tip for the assistant saying he values the role assistants play in keeping all of us safe and would like her to be taken care of.