I have been wondering about this question for awhile and interested in what you really think.

I'm a provider that has been happily married for several years. I met my husband as a client and we are *both very secure in our relationship....me being a provider is not a problem at all for either of us. I'm very happy being in love and married to my husband but I do enjoy being a provider as well.

Although I'm wondering about the clients I see. I'm pretty much a straight forward person if you ask I'll tell. So when a client asks if I'm married, I tell them yes. I get the feeling this is not what most clients want to hear. I don't ever mention that I'm married or talk about my husband....unless asked because I know there is a huge level of fantasy and knowing a provider is married or has a so can be a turn-off for some. So I never bring it up!!

I have met some great clients and after several meetings they ask the question......I tell the truth, and most answer with "Oh I didn't know you were married" "Oh how nice...in a weird tone" and I haven't seen a few of them again. So obviously they didn't really want that info., so why did they bring it up?  

I never lead a client on to make him think that our meeting can be anything more then it is (a provider and client having some fun and enjoying each other in the time that he books). I have met alot of wonderful guys and have made some special friends along the way but that is as far as it will go.

If you really don't want to know.....why do you ask? Would you rather a provider lie and lead you on or do you want the truth when you ask?  

just a curiousprovider

Reo you really want to know?. Makes no difference

For me... based on the reaction in my pants, I must not mind. I don't think it would make any difference in my choice of a provider.

A person that is genuine, and loves what she does is much more important to me.

I applaud you two for living the life you want. Far too often we live in fear and have to live out secret or un-fulfilled lives. Bravo!

Sure, some things one can't answer, but a polite "sorry, I really don't feel comfortable discussing that" beats some made up answer that you then have to make an effort to remember.  Any guy who would stop seeing a provider he really enjoys and gets along well with because he found out she is married is likely the type of guy who has some hope that "things will work out" between the two of them.  When he finds out she is married, he loses hope of a non professional relationship developing and looks for someone else.  Really, if that is the case, isn't it better than he does fade away, since you are very honest in not trying to lead him on?  Have known several guys who mistake a girl's sweet and kind nature to be something far more than it is.  There are all kinds of men in the world, so I'd suspect that for every one who would drop a girl because she is married, there is another who would get off on "making it with another guy's wife".  People are like snowflakes, no two are alike.  Sounds like you are a really nice and honest person, and imagine most people appreciate you for the person you are, not the legal status of who you go home to. Then again, what the hell do I know?

Henry

Reo you really want to know??

Great question.  

I have a need to know as much as possible - that is just part of my personality.  I will admit, however, that it is somewhat of a turnoff to find out the provider is married because it disrupts the fantasy which is so important for those of us (not everyone)seeking a GFE.  Nevertheless, if I really liked the provider, I would still continue seeing her.

It's a person choice for me, but I never ask such a personal question. I tend to listen, and anything personal a woman wants me to know, she'll tell me in her time.

Regarding civilian women, some of my most fun have been with married women, or women who had an SO. Sorry guys, but they want to have fun too, and I'm more than happy to oblige! A few have even wanted to travel with me, which is a big no no. Don't allow that!

The only negative with married women is that they tend to have unprotected sex with their husband, of course, (however, it is not very often, or they wouldn't have been with me.) They just need to be very clean.

Reo you really want to know??

It may be morbid curiosity just as what drives us to look at a bad accident on the freeway. We many times don't like what we see but we still look.

  Remain straight forward and tell the truth about you having a SO. It may affect your clients "fantasy" about you and could even cause him to move on to another provider. No matter what though he will appreciate and respect you more for your honesty.

Reo you really want to know??

Honestly, it is a big turn on for me.  Imagine, making love with someone else's spouse.  I think that is sexy!

Reo you really want to know??

First of all, what makes you think they didn't want the information.  They may not have liked the answer but they definitely wanted the information.  For at least some of them, they were getting ready to blur the lines maybe dinner or a drink, who knows?  If they know you are married, that is going to be hard for them to do.  I wouldn't lie about your marital status if asked.  If you do, sooner rather than later, you are going to have a worse problem than a client who doesn't come back.

By the way you don't ever need to lead the client on.  We can do all that by ourselves.  Anytime my ATF does anything kind for me no matter how insignificant, that is a sure sign she is going to abandon her fabulous life and join me in a miserable existence. LOL

After reading about their reactions to your replies to their questions, it sounds as though some of these guys are looking for something other than a provider/client relationship.  If you lie, I firmly believe it will lead to nothing good.  Just keep telling the truth -- it's the best path.

I think that those questions shouldn't be asked, unless the conversation has somehow gone in that direction by your lead.  That is your own personal business and he has no right to ask.  

The biggest turn off I have is when a provider begins to tell me about life's woes or ask me about family when I'm still in fantasy land.  For me, after session pillow talk is still time to dream about what has just happened.  Its not that I'm not sympathetic or interested. I'm trying to leave the real world for just about an hour and can use all the help I can get.  

Friendly, but not intrusive.

Curious - I think it's very cool that you're straight up when people ask. Would not make any difference to me, and it's much better to be straight than lie. Actually, I'm seeing a provider on a pretty regular basis that's married, and makes no diff to me. Actually, because she's married, she does not hobby full time. Makes me feel more "special".

You keep being honest and straight forward. Those that don't really want to know, shouldn't ask. Also, I think it's natural for guys to think the relationship (provider/client) is more than it really is. We want to think we're special... that's our illusion we have to deal with!

Reo you really want to know??

I think a lot of men cannot fathom having their wife working as a provider.  I know it's a double standard, but men (and this is a big generality) tend to want their wives to be exclusive.  So, I'm guessing the men you've told you were married, could not
comprehend your relationship with your husband.  It says more about their perceptions and comfort zones, then about you...

sorry-  I had to put that into the mix...

its like when famous people get married alot of times their image consultons tell them to really down play it or not mention it at all...I am not married..but I wear a ring..keeps the rif raf away..lol..but I make sure to point that out to clients..that I am not married..they always feel better..i hate to say it..but they want to feel like  you belong to them even for an hour..and why should'nt they..they are paying for time and fantasy...its good to be honest..butsome answers they really dont want to hear..like when your overweight friend say" do these pants make me look fat?' you smile and say no...its the polite thing to do...my 2cents....

I'm not sure I understand?

Most Providers have an SO, or a husband, with whom they have unprotected sex. What does that have to do with anything?

Most of my clients are married - aren't they having unprotected sex with their wives??

Reo you really want to know??

I wouldn't recommend lying about it but I think whether you answer at all just depends on what kind of connection you have with the guy.  I know I'm always filled with questions for providers that I never ask until 2nd, 3rd or 4th visits because I don't want to pry and I understand the need for privacy. My interest in knowing is just that I'm looking to learn as much about the lady as I can so I can get to know her and connect on more than the "just sex" level. If a guy asks and you tell the truth and he doesn't come back...just as well, I'd think.

If I asked a friend how a pair of jeans looked on me, I'd be asking because I wanted an honest answer... not a lie.

I wouldn't lie to my friends, don't expect them to lie to me either.

But then I am not into that baiting people with "do I look fat," crap either.

Best,
Tamara

... Never ask a question you don't want the answer to.

Asking idle questions as a way of making small talk can lead down unexpected paths.  How many jokes start out with lead lines like "Honey, does this dress make me look fat?" or the older "Penny for your thoughts?"  Heck, I've even gotten sucked in with an innocent "How you doing?"

Just my experience and observation.

d_d

not blowing my own horn. Doesn't everyone talk about sex here? So, I talked about my experiences. Get over it.

Both civi's and providers.

You want the men you meet to be clean, correct?

Well, I want the women I'm with to be clean as well. This means hygeine as well as STD's. I choose not to do one hour evenings with providers because I don't want to be "guy number two". Some providers don't make men wear condoms, that's rather unsafe, in my opinion. Plus, I enjoy DATY, and I have no intention of doing that right after some other guy.

Sorry if that's blunt, but JMHO.

Perhaps you thought I was "blowing my horn."

My apologies, but you took it the wrong way. I was just sharing my personal experiences.

Also, my comment about, "sorry guys" was meant to be tongue in cheek. Consider this, statistically, married women are almost as likely to cheat on men as we are on them. Also, is it not likely married women could be just as disatisfied with us as we are with them.

Most of us are married. Most are disatisfied to some extent, or we wouldn't be doing this. I wonder how many of us have considered the problem with our sex lives with our SO, is as much our fault as it is theirs? How many of us have considered the fact that our SO may very well have cheated on us?

Reo you really want to know??

I've had providers volunteer this info several times--never bothered me.  (One had her husband call right before session and sed, excuse me I have to take this it is my husband.)

"Some providers don't make men wear condoms, that's rather unsafe, in my opinion"

Really? Where?

...

as much time in her crotch as anything else.   Hah, Hah, Hah

I also don't have to wear one at the store when I am buying her stuff.  Otherwise if there is the slightest inkling I might be inserting my smaller head in, the cover goes on.

Make me laugh Sedona, I feel like laughing.

about a GFE...
if a gent really wants a GFE, shouldn't he be ready to hear that question?

Oh My God!! You are so unbelieveably beautiful.  And Irish to boot!  I am so in love.  Leaving wife now, and will be there soon to woo you with beads in hand.

Really, if love can be based on internet photos, I am smitten.  

As to the subject at hand, I wear my ring, and I view my hobby the same way I view golf.  My SO doesn't play, but doesn't complain about me going out for a few holes.

Reo you really want to know??

Lie to me baby!!!!