My best civvie experience was much better than any providers and way better than all the other civvies...although I have had some close seconds with providers.

 Whats love got to do with it??

It actually increases the effects for some of us..

Civvie by a good bit. For me the advantage of the hobby is convenience and control (being able to more reliably schedule when these peak experiences are going to occur). I've found that the hobby relationships can develope nicely and are well worth ongoing effort and commitment and that there can be some paybacks in both heat and meaning with the right provider(s). Civvie relationships are more out of control and frankly rather more difficult to acheive some types of sexual honesty and authenticity. The fantasy element of the hobby (hey I've only known/reconnected with this woman for 10 minutes and she wants to have sex with me, that's so sweet, geez she's a nice person) creates some room for authentic physical expression and affection. The same fantasy makes some types of conversational intimacy difficult and can limit  and restrict some levels of connection. Some civvies have been far more inauthentic than anything I've ever gotten from providers especially the civvies that are playing with disguised money or status routines. Nonetheless, at their best the civvies have been hotter.

In my limited experience... no hobby encounters has ever come close to some of my civie experiences.

Same.

The civie experience by a long shot.
Some of my past girlfriends were nothing short of spectacular, and having an emotional connection even betters the experience.
I lack the emotional connection when I hobby, by my own choice, of course.

To clarify another point, I have had many one night stands with civies over the years. Comparing the one nighters to the providers I have seen, I give the edge to the providers.

I have about ten civie lovers in my life, most when I was quite young and not as good a lover as I am now.  (Experience does trump physical attributes.)  By comparison, I've been with over 150 different providers over the last thirty something years.

I have had good and bad in both, but of the ten best sexual experiences that I have had, I would say that the hobby owns at least seven of them.

Providers are more unrestricted than civies who are always concerned that they may be judged severely if they are too wild despite what you tell them, providers have no such considerations.

-- Modified on 8/30/2008 8:10:26 AM

Apples vs Oranges vs Grapes

I have some lovers in my past that I adore to this day and would walk naked through hell to spend another night with, and they were not EVEN animals in bed.  

I have had 'friends with benefits' that were awesome bed partners and who, by mutual agreement, condoms were not required.  Some of them far exceeded most providers' skills mainly due to the fact that they were truly enjoying what they were doing and having non-fake orgasms.

I have had providers that were more beautifuly and sexy looking than any of my lovers or fuck buddies, one in particular - it was worth the money just to see her naked.  And yes, I've had providers respond and some pretty certainly had real O's, but it just isn't the same.  

You just can't compare the experiences evenly.
MVR

Nothing against the ladies I have seen here, as almost all of my experiences have been very good to exceptional (because of my good research .

However, as a feeling human being, love and real commitment give ANY sexual experience an additional plane that automatically puts them past a "one-time (or repeat one time) paid experience". I have had plenty of not great civvie experiences, but I have had more great ones, and quite a few that were just as good as the best provider experiences.  When you add it that at the time I was in a loving relationship with these women and we took a shower together afterwards, ate in bed together, lay in the dark and listened to music together, woke up the next morning and fucked three times together, went to breakfast together, went wine tasting together, talked about our future together, planned out trips together, had good times with our friends together, etc...all without shelling out what would have cost many thousands for the same thing with a provider, yet always known when the payment stopped the time did as well...how can you compare the two?  Unfortunately, the relationships didn't last forever, but while they were there, they were much more fulfilling than any "one night stand" with a lady, paid or not, no matter hwo great the sex was, no matter how beautiful she was, etc. etc.

It is just sex, people.  When it is great, it is like asking if a 1990 Chateau Margaux is better than a 2004 Pisoni Pinot Noir.  When it is that great, do the subtle differences really matter that much, or make any lasting difference?

The difference is love.  It is just that most that are here and are in sexually unhappy marriages have lost that understanding.

I'd still say my best sexual experience was with a civvie boy... though places 2-2000 are definitely in the hobby. How's that for odds?

He was awesome, really really ridiculously good looking and *phenomenal* in bed... but unfortunately after an earth-shattering 36 hours spent doing nothing but sleeping and fvcking (more of the latter!), we realized that we far to little in common to consider a relationship. Such a shame!

Maxine

Re: The hobby is far better.

While I have had great relationships.  Women who are in relationships want love and romance with the sex.  
Even if the sex is purely causal they still want some love connection.

No girlfriend of mine ever let me have sex and just leave and never see her again.  

How many girlfriends would let you give them a facial?  

I'm having the best sex I've ever had in my life right now and it is all due to my ATF...

Comapring Anne (the love of my life) vs. providers that I love now?  As much as I loved civvies in the past, the hobby is and has been front and center for over four years...I have made friends with two ladies primarily, and a few secondarily.  They are the present...not going way anytime soon...

I am having the best sex & passionate lovemaking in my life right now; I have been most fortunate to meet some incredibly beautiful, talented, & loving women here since I (thank G-d) stumbled on this site 1.5 yrs ago.

There is simply no way to compare the women in this hobby vs the civie world.