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Satire or Satyr? I was abused as a child, and that's why I pay for sex
CynicalSOB 2370 reads
posted

I've had a dysfunctional life. That's why I like sex and became a whoremonger.

Yes, its true. At the age of 3, I was punished for wanting to read books instead of do finger paints. This is why I buy Playboy... for the centerfold, not the articles.

At the age of 5, my rabbi used to beat me because he had arguments with my father over religion. This is why I never scream "OH GOD!" during my sexual climax.

As a 10 year old, my dad used to beat me because he had arguments with the rabbi over religion. This is why I engage in S&M.

As a 15 year old college freshman fraternity pledge, I had to participate in a panty raid, but we got caught. This is why I don't visit the Nevada brothels, they remind me too much of the all girl sorority house dormitories. I don't want to get caught with my pants down. Again.

As a 20 year old, I lost my virginity to a 30-something swinger chick with boobs the size of the Goodyear Blimp. This caused me to become a leg man and eschew those with surgically enhanced breastits.

I've led a very hard and emotionally unstable life because of all the abuse I endured as a child and young adult. You should all feel sorry for me and gift me with free sessions. Then I can sell my story to Hustler magazine for a $1.79.

Gimme a fuckin' break. I deserve it because I'm special. :P

scriptfixer594 reads

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livie1128 reads

You keep PM ing me and I have answered your question 3 times please check your system to see that it's working properly.

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livie304 reads

Thank You!!

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SexyMadelineShaw618 reads

I thought it was funny. Take it light scriptfixer.   It was obviously a joke.
Considering the plague of bad luck and even worse P.R the "oldest profession has suffered as of late
If we cannot make light here, then where can we?
It is going to be a great day.
Happy St Paddys!
Enjoy!

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livie291 reads

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livie508 reads


No I think the way post was written was. I truly thought is was meant to be. I'm not used to seeing such personal matter being discussed in open form thought this guy is kidding .Please forgive my ignorance I did not mean to make light of the subject or insult any one.

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BizzaroSuperdude447 reads

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dblhappy170 reads

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CynicalSOB309 reads

I meant my post to be a cynical satire about how we can use whatever excuses we can come up with, no matter how horrific or heinous as long as we can get away with not owning up to our own behavior and choices in life.

Anyone who read the entire comment (sell my story to Hustler for $1.79) would recognize immediately I was just being a cynical SOB. If not, lighten up.

It was not my intention to make light of child abuse. It WAS my intention to highlight some of the ridiculous bullshit being slung these days as excuses.

She might have been more believable if not for the fact her entire history seems to have been one of priviledged party girl. I think it was and is just a crock in her case. It makes for sensationalist media and a crackerjack plotline.

Are there not many ladies here who have argued over the validity of their right to choose to be an escort? Just a few threads removed from this one, Sola Love comments "Why are we always seeing questions such as "Do escorts... (fill in the blank)" as if we are any different from the rest of the population?" which exactly makes my point.

*I* think the girl is just trying to polish up her "street cred". Plus I don't like it when people "out" others. Especially in this particular playground.

My entire post was filled to the brim with sarcasm and satire. Political correctness be damned.

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scriptfixer211 reads

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GaGambler233 reads

There is absolutely no reason that you need to explain yourself. Your satire was obvious to anyone with a doubledigit IQ. Some people just need to lighten up and get over themselves.

When you have to be PC on a board dvoted to the hobby, then political correctness has definitely run amok.

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Chuck Darwin860 reads

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zinaval274 reads


Many abused children don't turn to the sex industry in their adult life. Why did she?

People get duped by the abuse issue. It never occurs to them that the number one reason women go into it is the PAY. Yes, all you feminists and Bible-Belters, it's really that simple.

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Cpl_Punishment306 reads

Please don't throw me in dat briar patch!

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