Hugs

Because they want so badly what is just out of their reach . Once they touch it and find out it is not a mirage they drink from it and continue their journey . Hugs honey ,Kendall

You relieved his DSB (deadly sperm buildup) so he doesn't need you quite so intensely anymore.

The quest is what he wanted and having conquered you he's onto the next quest.

He scared himself with how vulnerable he felt with you once you were together.

Once he had you he found out there were things he didn't like about you.  He was disappointed.

He does not want to be a member of a club that would have himself as a member.  The fact that you would accept him means you're inferior.

He is commitment phobic.

His old girlfriend saw you together and lured him back.

You have pubic hair.

You shave your pubic hair.

_________________

Those are just a few possible reasons.  Other posters may have some more.  The reasons are just about as varied as personalities are.  

for many of the things women do.

The problem is that for many (most?) women, men have to work this hard at the beginning to get with them REGARDLESS of what they think of the woman.  It is our cultures notion of what is proper in gender roles...that a man work hard to win the girl, even though a relationship is mutually beneficial and supposedly something both parties want.  The whole notion that men have to "fight" to get the girl (leftover from our pre-"civilized" days?), that the woman makes this "decision" about a man (supposedly because she has so much more to lose or gives more when she actually accepts the relationship) basically empowers women to mostly be the decision makers about whether to have a relationship or not.

The problem is that because men have to put out off of this effort at first instead of "being themselves", they often overshoot, and once they get a CHANCE to be with the woman, discover that she isn't everything that they were hoping she is, because men aren't able to judge the whole woman at the start...they often hold so much back until they actually are in the relationship that who the man is with is quite different from the few dimensions that the man saw during "courtship".

It is a Catch-22 of our gender roles.  People can't have it both ways.

Re: Age old question …(4 the guys)

How about that old fashioned word....LOVE!
Go ahead,let the darts fly!...I can take it!

Re: Age old question …(4 the guys)

If my above post doesn't satisfy your ? (Livie)
Hell,we can always blame it on "TESTOSTERONE"
Will that work?....LOL.

I wish it was different. I have seen a few ladies that I would love to see again and again. It's geography that keeps me from being able to. My playtime is limited to when I travel, and some of my favorite ladies are hundreds, sometimes thousands of miles away.

Actually, I'm a sort of stick with someone type of person.  I'm divorced but that' because she left me.

I continue to see providers over and over, some for upwards of twenty years.  I think this is because I am a Scorpio.  More gals have left me for one reason or another than I've left, sometimes they even come back.

Life is funny like that.

Well - I am an old world flirt. I am rather skilled at it. But it really does not mean that I am totally smitten by someone or that I am interested in a commitment.  I flirted with an elderly lady that I helped up a couple of steps and through a door recently. She was delightful but I was not chatting her up. If I'm setting up a date with a lady (professional or not) I like to flirt a bit with her. It shows my level interest and sets the stage. But I cannot say that I continue to see every lady that I flirt with. My interest may be of the one and done variety. Actually my interest is often of the one and done variety. I want to thank you for your question - I've seldom thought about it from the lady's perspective. And it has been my experience that women are just as capable of being somewhat mercenary about this. I don't know how I could possibly tell if I was setting someone up for a disappointment.... should I not flirt with a lady with the intention of bedding her unless I have fallen in love with her, or am looking for a long term relationship? Should I issue a disclaimer: by the way, I'm going to flirt with you until you are good and wet, got to bed with you once, and then you'll never hear from me again?

Okay, I'm not a guy but here goes . . .

In my humble opinion, I believe the majority of men enjoy the chase. They love getting something they've had to work for (not super hard, mind you). Once they've tasted of the nectar, it is time to search out another essence of fruit (so to speak). I think some women are like this, too, without admitting it. However, I have never wanted more than one man at a time while in a relationship.  

With the above being said, it's hard for the eye not to wander. The biggest obstacle is certainly not whether someone is looking at other men or women in public, but knowing when to stop and realize what you may already have in front of you might be your soulmate. Most do not realize this until we have been in a few relationships and are able to compare one person to another. This could be bad or good depending upon your expectations.

Now, I'm sure some would argue that men are built differently than women. They have the "caveman" mentality of dragging an unsuspecting female by her hair until he conquers and tires of her. Well, women can do that too. I do believe the majority of women are more committed once in a relationship but that doesn't mean a woman is free from sexual feelings toward another person. I merely say this because that is what I've witnessed most of my life. When a woman is really attracted to -- and in love with -- a man, they tend not to stray.

I am honest enough to openly say that if I ever got into a relationship again, I'd have to be super attracted to him, yet love and attraction are not enough to put up with bad habits or incompatability. I don't do too great with someone who snores next to me; I don't like picking up after someone, so he'd have to be a neat freak; I don't want to watch "Monster Trucks" or golf on TV. Those things bore the hell out of me; I am an expert marksman but I do not want to go hunting and kill an animal; I do not want to be expected to cook and slave over someone if I am working, too; and best of all: If I could find someone who has their own place (near me) and they would go and sleep in their own bed after making love and we could have our own place for space, then it would be a perfect relationship. Of course, my thinking could change if I fell in love. Frankly, I don't remember what it feels like but it's okay. I don't have a problem being alone. I would just like to know that someone will be there for me when I get sick, or someone who wants to travel with me.


Hugs,
Ciara









-- Modified on 11/13/2008 12:25:20 PM

Hardwired into the genes....

men are programed to "spread their seed" while women are programed to nuture and nest build.  While there are exceptions to this... for the most part it is true.... even the Academically minded libs, are coming to recognize that male-female relations are for the majority of folks built into the hard wiring...

ME??? I was very faithful during my marriage... but I looked and fantasized a whole lot... that was part of my undoing - as it destabilized how the ex ms. Superdude viewed our relationship... and once that was changed - so was her view of fidelity...

so... even in my own life, I've seen the rule and the induced exception...

What hobby land offers dudes is a license to sample as many flowers as we can afford... and while some like only roses, others like roses, lillys, daffodils...  well you get the picture....

Variety... in one word - we are wired for "variety"