OK, so I was enjoying my first anal experience with a reviewed provider, and after a memorable O pulled out to discover the condom had come off in her ass. Had just a second to enjoy the sight of anal cream pie, then she said, "Well, if you know you're OK, I know I am, so I'll just get tested at my usual time."
 Oh, shit ...(ironic exclamation)... I may have been exposed. I'm a 50-something dude who, with the exception of the last 9 months of hobbying, have been monogamous all my life. Please explain/confirm the following:
1.) I need to get tested ASAP, right?
2.) what's the best, fastest, and most descreet way?
3.) no sex with my SO (no problem there...) until I get results back, right?
4.) superglue all future condoms to the base of my schwantz

"well, if you know you're OK, I know I am, so I'll just get tested at my usual time" (?)


first of all, if you don't mind me asking! ... how long did you stay in there after you were done?  cuz i'm guessing the only way you could lose that condom is if you went limp after finishing? yes?

i guess it's not for nuttin' it's called the "vice-grip-of-love!" ...  LOL


seriously though ... get yourself tested. ASAP

you may come back falsely negative.  I would go to a clinic if you are uncomfortable going to your family doctor.  No sex with your spouse means no sputum exchange.  Do you really not at least kiss her.  If you do, you need to keep your lips dry and your tongue in your own mouth.

Good Luck

By the way.  Where was the condom?   maybe it just fell off when you withdrew.  Don't know how excited I would get about that.