Newbie to TER seeking advice:
I have an ATF provider I've been seeing every 2 weeks for a few months. Really enjoy and look forward to our time together.
Her fees are 600/hour, 1200/2 hrs, but I've paid her $750/session and we often exceed 1.5-2 hrs each time.
I'd like to propose an arrangement where I can see her 3x/month at a lower rate for each date.
I'm thinking of 700/per session, also to include an overnight and a 4 hour each year + occasional trips.
Does this seem reasonable or should I aim lower?
My proposal comes to 25.2K/year which stretches my budget.
Any counsel is appreciated.
Thanks
It seems like a reasonable ask to me. But I've seen a lot of providers put on their websites to not ask for any kind of discounts or have stated 'my rates are non-negotiable' so I don't know if this request would be considered appropriate or not. I have heard it's frowned on but as a business proposition I think it seems fair to at least introduce it. I'd do it at the end of the session though, if you plan to bring it up in person, to prevent a meltdown from blowing the session at hand. You know how touchy they can be. One wrong move and it's off to munchkin land with you.
If you are getting 1.5-2 hours for $750, I would not propose $50 less per session! It might make her start watching the clock more and result in less bonus time than you are already getting! I would be thankful that she is already being generous with her time! The extra $50 per session means one extra session every 15 sessions for you, and it makes up for 1-2 hours of all the extra time you are banking regularly now! Ride that horse until it gets tired! Assuming a 4 hour session, she would probably get $1.5-2k for that. When you are ready to book that, wait until a particularly satisfying session for her and propose a discounted session. Same with the overnight. I doubt she will go for a long-term arrangement where she “owes” you a 4 hour or overnight session. Why go with the long-term ask? She might leave the business, you may get tired of her, or you might find a second atf to split time with her!
Instead of proposing a rate per session, maybe propose that you pay her 2100 per month and that would include up to x, y and z. And it for whatever reason you aren’t able to see her that much in a particular month, she still gets the cash. This way you’re not talking about hourly rates and she can count on the money monthly.
No idea how that would go over, but seems like a better approach.
So let me see if I got this...
As it is now, you're doing 1500 a month. (Two visits. 1.5-.20 hours at 750)
And now you want to purpose 700 per session, 3 visits or 2100 a month. 25K a year.
And is it is now she's projected to get 18k a year and your deal is 25.2k a year for roughly 12 more visits...
Not following the overnight and trips arraignment you have planned but is that included in the 25k number?
It sounds "ok" but without knowing of the girl and how much in demand she is. It'is hard to tell.
But be prepared to pay in advance a full month to seal the deal. Kinda like "The Pussy is Due On the First". So you'll have to come up with the 2100 on the first of the month or in some lump payment because that's my guess on how she might want it.
Word of advise...don't do it. Surprised you're not sick and tired of her yet. To commit to something like this just was never in my playbook. I tried it and maybe it's me but I wasn't cut out for that kinda arraignment. I got tired of the "But you promised me"..in my best girly voice...BS
But ask her....
-- Modified on 8/16/2023 4:34:53 PM
You have a relationship developing with the provider not us. I have on my website $5k is my starting rate for monthly arrangements. If she entertains monthly arrangements it would be on her website. If it’s not you should discuss as what you propose during your next encounter. We are not her darling.
I don't see the harm in him asking how to go about the situation. Him trying to work out a special arrangement with the lady in question is fraught with many land mines and the more experienced guys here weighing in with there advice could quite possibly allow him to sidestep a few of those landmines. Just my 2 cents.
I don't find her to be condescending at all.
While it doesn't hurt to ask opinions here, the best idea is to just ask to provider and avoid the guess work,
Not to white knight or anything, but she's been on TER since 2006, that's 17 years for the math challenged. I think she's seen it all.
You are woefully wrong!
QB rocks! She adds a lot to this forum.
She has never been condescending, and doesn't take any $hit.
She's cool with me!
The 700 three times per month seems reasonable, but tacking on an overnight, a 4 hour session, and travel are over the top.
I'd approach the longer sessions and overnight more organically. Assuming it's an outcall, plan a late starting session and invite her to stay. She'll probably pass the first time, being unprepared, but will likely let you know directly or indirectly by her reaction, if an otc overnight is possible.
As far as travel goes, see how this monthly arrangement works before suggesting an otc, but expenses paid trip.
the kind of money that is going to get you special rates or treatment. A few years ago, I spent $29,000 on the same provider over a 10-week period, and the only kind of concession I got was 2 OTC dates where we went to the horse races at Santa Anita on Sunday afternoons and then a freebie afterward at my place.
With that said, it's more a question of how desperate or hurting for business the girl is. There are providers that might jump at that kind of money, but they are not going to be top tier ladies, in my experience. It's always a tough sell to get a provider to lower her rate because it's a point of pride with most, and if word gets out that different customers pay different prices, it hurts their business. If you've been paying 600/hr and you meet a guy on TER that is only paying $500 you are not going to be happy for him. If you confront the girl about it, your future with her will never be the same. I find it's better to pay the same rate as everyone, and have her make it up with some OTC time which may or may not include a thank-you fuck like I described above. If you spend a lot and ask for a thank-you fuck from some providers, they will just look you in the eye and say, "Thank you, fuck." Just keeping it real.
If you want the best rate, which is "free", then become a real-life outside boyfriend to a provider, but you will still spend a lot of money over the course of a year ON her, just not in direct payments TO her. The other choice is to find a young sugar baby that will fuck you to or three times a week for a couple thousand a month, which is within your budget. Go to the SA website for some ideas of what's out there. You wanted advice, there it is. Good luck.
You spent $29000 over a ten week period ? Maybe I need to stop working and get some girls and become a Pimp. I buy a car out of you in ten weeks or less.
I would tell those girls to treat you like the king you are. Some providers don't appreciate generosity for many different reasons, so don't waste your money on those ,but my girls would take care of You 'buddy's.
Do I sound like a pimp yet ?
like it's happy hour where you are. LOL
Spending is all relative. I have a few hobby friends who have taken providers on pleasure trips for a week and gave them $25-30,000, plus they paid all of their expenses. By way of contrast, there are married guys here who make decent money, but must hide money $20 at a time from their wife until they have enough for a session. It might take a month or longer. Regardless of spending level, we are all united by our common love of young (and sometimes older) pussy, so there is a certain understanding between most of us, . . . . but not all of us. Lol
I buy a car out of you in ten weeks or less.
Firing blanks ,never dated anyone and no review. Maybe we should call him pistolspypete.
Its like learning a new language without having to go to school. Then you can brag about being multilingual. Lol
I never brag about being multi-lingual ; you said englsh is possibly my second language.
Listen man , no body have a monopoly on the english language , so I might (mite), be writing as a free man ,liberated of any lingual status quo, and don't have to accept what society puts before me.
You give yourself a German name ,but cant speak the language. Maybe cheap ass BasicmemberPistolPetey can teach you .
You're making this too easy. I don't have to call you a moron, you have just announced it yourself with your post. Lol
I don't think Germany was a country when Richard was galivanting around? Although I will be the first to admit I am far from an expert on medieval European geography.
Maybe you could teach him instead of just belittling him? We all have our shortcomings. I thought we all agreed we were going to work on making this board a nice inclusive learning place for everyone in the industry. Being mean and name calling takes no effort. Let's all do better.
We agree on that, but even in public schools, the short bus people are usually separated from the main group so the teachers don't have to dumb down their material to the lowest common denominator.
Germany was formed in 962 AD and Richard I's reign began in 1157. It was later broken up into smaller kingdoms and principalities which comprised the Germanic states, which was then unified in 1871. An interesting side note . . . John Churchill, 1st Duke of Marlborough, was the winning general at the battle of Blenheim, defeating the French Army of Louis XIV. The German allies of the English offered him his own country among the Germanic states as a reward for his victory, which he declined. He said he would rather be a duke in England than a sovereign in any other country. (I know way more about European history than an American should, but the subject seldom comes up in a conversation - Lol)
She is reciprocating your generosity with generosity of her own - extra time. Now you want to lock in her generosity, in effect "forcing" her to give you a discount. Your budget limitations shouldn't make her reduce her income.
Does she "really enjoy and look forward" to your visits as much as you do? Is she giving you extra time because she likes you and genuinely enjoys your company or is it simply an in-kind exchange for your generous tip?
Many providers will voluntarily offer discounts and/or give more time to good customers. That said, you can ask her for the $700/3 times a month deal. But since you've only seen her for a few months, it's way too early to ask her for free overnights and free trips. In about a year, she may offer a steep discount for overnights and trips if you prove to be a good guy and an easy client.
I appreciate the words of wisdom helping me navigate.
The ideal goal is to have both parties feel valued and respected, which I will try to do.
As CDL suggested, it sounds like what you're proposing is a SD/SB situation.
There is great advice on the Erotic Highway board on how to how to approach negotiating a SD arrangement. I suggest you check it out before approaching her.
Negotiating a monthly deal with an escort who already has well-established hourly, etc., rates is NOT the same as negotiating a Sugar Baby rate. The latter girls mostly haven't worked as prostitutes with an hourly rate and some have even convinced themselves they're not prostitutes. They have no clue how to price themselves, whereas a working, independent escort generally has a VERY clear idea how to price herself. Now, she may be wrong, but that hardly matters. Anyway, by all means take a shot on the Erotic Highway board but I doubt you'll get anything useful there.
established a solid rapport based upon the frequency of your visits and the financial commitment you have already made to her. But ask yourself, how would you feel if she said "no?" Would be a mood killer for me and I would probably not want to see her again. Are you willing to risk it?
But of course, that is just me.
This mentality I agree with in the case of OP and many other similar situations.
I have a girl I see often for incalls and we have a pretty good relationship. I’ve been tempted to ask if she’d be interesting in doing the occasional outcall at a generous donation. But I’ve refrained from asking because I worry that it could backfire, and kill the chemistry that we’ve built over time.
But I think she'd be a fool not to accept. You sound like a good guy who comes with a 25K bonus... what's not to like?
Seriously, other girls would be better judges, but a steady income stream has value in and of itself no matter what the business. Sometimes, a lot!! That's why there's a discount for volume, LMAO. Throw in that you think you like each other, and this could turn out to be a moment of truth. If she counters with something you can't haul, you guys should be able to leave *the price* as is, I hope.
It's so much easier for me when that shit is out in the open and I don't have to wonder if what I'm paying her, including a frustratingly varying tip, has her pleased, or saying to herself what a cheap bastard I am. LOL. That was my reason for negotiating with my ATF.
I acknowledge that the amount of history I have with her is a lot more than your situation, and she's in a way different segment of the biz, but I negotiated with her for the first time ever at the start of this year... after 4+ years of seeing her, on and off. Also, while I've seen her a lot more, I've never seen her as frequently as you do yours.
I've always liked giving her my money (if you know what I mean). So when I asked her about it and promptly got my ego bruised by the number she threw out, I was left wanting for words. However, I knew it was a good faith "don't expect to get what you don't ask for" type ask, even if there was no humor in voice. Then when I countered, she barely got out a grinning 'OK' when she jumped on me, pinning me to the bed, and started kissing my face all over. She was excited that I even wanted an arrangement. It was less than I sometimes had given her, but a little more than I usually gave her. It was a moment of truth.
I just got back from her place less than five hours ago😁😁😘. I must have had a wild hair across my ass because earlier in the day I was thinking of showing her pics and videos of the agency girls I see, who are a lot younger and prettier, to compare the price I pay them versus her. In my head, this was to prevent her getting any ideas. Thank god I know how to count to ten before proceeding with most my ideas about relationships. LOL. Don't forget to count to ten when needed and I trust you'll be fine!
Ok man, what happened with your moment of truth? 🤔🙂
us ladies can sometimes be touchy. You never know, she might already be super busy and not need an arrangement. Or she could really like the idea.
I think the best way to approach it, is the same way you would approach a professional job offer..."Is our situation negotiable? Because I have some ideas on an arrangement." That way she does not have to feel put on the spot and the beginning is up to her.
I know a lady in an exclusive SB relationship. She gets 10k a month. Since inflation is so high, she now wants 11k or the ability to see a few people a month. But, her SD is balking as they have had this arrangement 10 years. It is beginning to sour their relationship. So, I would also let her know you are potentially open to change in the future.
Best wishes, GT
Yes go for it and propose the idea to her, I personally love doing arrangements.. it gives us the opportunity to really get to know each other and create beautiful chemistry.
Report back! I'm wondering this myself, if I could muster up the courage.
Seeing the kind of money some of the guys on here fork out, it’s out of my league, I have a budget of 10,000 a year, but I don’t hobby a lot because of my age, also I love investing in stocks (which is my main hobby)and just can’t see myself going over my budget, I can buy a lot of stocks for the kind of money some of your guys fork over.
I assume you mean by your age, being an older gent. The time when a stock will be of value to you personally grows shorter. I know timing is a guess, but eventually we run out of time to earn money that will be available to spend in our remaining years.
I figured at 62 i have 13 years to keep investing, I’m not worried about spending and enjoying my money in my remaining years, I’m am big on leaving wealth to the people who means so much to me( my family)
Well, if it is any consolation when guys fork over money to me I also invest heavily in the stock market so you can always be assured that my dirty hooker money is going to a good cause, my retirement!!
So we are investing in “ Broad.com” and some are making regular periodic investments.😂
Actually glad to hear you will not end up broke at the end of your providing career like so many others!
Good long term planning, because sex work doesn't necessarily comes with a 401K ,Pension etc,
tell her you have been thinking about seeing her more often and are thinking about an arrangement. Ask her for her thoughts. Perhaps you can tell her yours and ask her to think about it. She might counter it
I’ve done this dance. They change when you offer less lol. Your hopefully getting the almost perfect version of themselves. Even if you paying their normal rate over time and you see them frequently. They start acting like a girlfriend rather than a professional. Then when they get even more comfortable they start slipping into nagging girlfriend mode. Your paying a premium for a fake product. Enjoy it. Find a girlfriend somewhere else.
talk to the person in question, every one has different views, life, situation.
You are asking to random people here, that may not have the same lifestyle. Talk to her, hopefully you 2 get to an agreement. 
As a follow up, after a session with my ATF provider a few months ago,, I told her how much I value our time together and enjoy being with her.
I offered seeing her three times a month for 700 instead of the 750 I was paying twice a month.
Her response: “Yes”, with a smile.
I now see her 3-4 times a month, and if anything our sessions are even better!
I still pay per date.
A win-win!
Appreciate the counsel here.
PS- I did not bring up longer dates or overnites.
I share your concern about not wanting to appear cheap or "stingy."
Generally, providers hate it when you seek to lower their published rate, so don't. Alternately, when booking a long engagement, like a day of weekend, I will make an offer and bargain good naturedly. Here, I think it's reasonable to expect a "volume discount."
In economic terms, an escort's available hours are a "perishable." Like bananas in the supermarket, they becomes value-less, or spoil, if not consumed. Plus, escorts have usually paid for the hotel room, adding "overhead." Speaking of committing to a recurring engagement, as you propose, they know too that these hours are a sure thing.
Make a reasonable offer and let them do the math.
Let us know how you make out!
I think you should step-up to the plate!
Lexi Stone TER ID 353091 available for $75K / month!
What the hell is worth $75K/month ? You should ask her. Maybe days on a luxury yacht, or in a private jet high in the sky with champagne and caviar,among other goodies, and not to mention great sex 24/7.
I've seen this both ways for extended dates, like overnights or weekends. Occasionally, you see a published hourly rate of, say, $500/hr, and then an overnight rate of 2-3k, downright reasonable. Then, in parallel to that, you also see overnight rates that are either linear with their hourly rate, or higher.
Now, were I in the market of wanting an actual sleepover, I certainly wouldn't just accept a linear rate, I'd expect a volume discount, because she wouldn't be working every hour she spends with you, hell, some of that time she'll be quite literally asleep, but even ignoring that, she's also not 100% booked, so there's some slack time there where, she wouldn't have been paid.
As to how many hours these girls actually work on an average day, I'd imagine that's wildly variable, and they're not likely to reveal that information. I highly doubt even the K-girls are pulling 40 hour weeks, but I also don't know enough to even come up with a reasonable guess there. Number pulled out of my ass would be 12 hours/week on average, using a fermi estimation and a maximum hours of 112 and a minimum of 1 (because you can't divide by zero).
Thanks for an elegant analysis!
Something I noticed lately is women charging 1 hour@$500, 2 hours@$750 but then 3 hours@$1,500. Perhaps they believe that by creating greater value for the two hour engagement, they will reliably book more hours and, thus, revenue. The smart thing to do, of course, is ask the provider using this pricing model.
Open to comments!
I've also seen rates like 750/hr, 650/90min, clearly trying to incentivize longer dates. Which, I get that to be honest, and ultimately it's the same strategy as "90min required for first time friends", aka, trying to form a connection of some sort with their customers. Connection -> Repeat Customers ->Increased income & lower risk. Pretty solid model.
And yes, obviously everything is negotiable, or, more frankly, anything that gets in the way of money changing hands is bad for business.
Popular ones with good work ethic/drive put up way more than that. They work seven days a week so that's just over six customers a day.
Yeah those are rookie #s
K - girls are like slaves thought. I would feel guilty going to one of these agency (sweat shop).
They're really not, they're just playing a different game. They pay very good money back home to learn how to pull it off, then they come here, work for a few years while spending as little as possible, then they go back home and retire like queens.
Every time one of the agencies get rolled, which is very rare, everyone walks, because the entire operation is voluntary. The most you typically see is that someone goes away for something tax-related, or a fine for some sort of regulatory violation. It isn't that Johnny Law doesn't want scalps, it's just that there aren't any to collect there.
Where the kind of thing you're referring to is actually happening is with the girls (and the guys nowadays) out on the street corner. They're subject to every sort of coercion you can think of, they can't just quit willy-nilly and go home. Plenty of places where that's been defacto legalized because they won't police it. Nice (read: terrible) side-effect of the general anti-police sentiment among lower socio-economic groups, they police are happy to just let those communities rot.
a slave thought?
Like what they think about, like trying to escape?
Its a typo...slaves * though
but wanted to yank his chain a bit because the suggestion made was very uninformed. He is either confused about K-girls specifically, perhaps classing them with all other Asian providers in any rundown massage parlar or cheap dive appartment or just has very limited experience.
Clearly the reference to sweat shops and slaves was a demonstration of ignorance.
You might as well get married or get a girlfriend. Why are you wasting all that money on one woman?
why are you letting the guy use YOUR money on this woman?
Wait… he’s using his OWN money? Well, that’s a different story then!