Chapter 1

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Amy Callow ran out the front door of her apartment building, past the hardware store, around the corner of the coffee shop and, without looking around, quickly scooted in the front door of Judge Beans.  

"Amy!" Jacob shouted with some alarm as he looked up from making a cappuccino to see the fear on Amy's face as she rushed in, "What's wrong?  Is someone after you?" he stated more than asked as his alarm grew.  "Hide in back.  Hurry!"

Amy was trying to catch her breath and think at the same time, two things she was, at the moment, finding rather incompatible.  "It's raining like Noah's flood you idiot." She blurted with some exasperation between breaths.  She was soaking wet and the slight smile spreading slowly across Jacob's face left little doubt that he was amused by the sight that she made standing there dripping all over.  Finally beginning to breathe somewhat normally Amy looked around at the smiles on the faces of the others in the coffee shop and realized that she was providing entertainment for everyone.

"Next show tomorrow morning at 8:00." She said with a good-natured smile and bow to her audience.  Walking over to the counter she put on her best I-disapprove-of-that look, but couldn't hold it, not with Jacob.  She loved her friend and enjoyed being with him too much to stay mad for very long for something so insignificant.  Besides, she'd done worse to him over the past couple of years.

A few minutes later she was comfortable and neatly hidden at a table in the back corner with her latte and chocolate croissant.  Amy was known for her very outgoing personality, practical approach to life, and ability to get things done more than for any kind of introspection.  Today though, introspection was at the top of the menu and the back corner of Judge Beans seemed like a good place.  It would provide the solitude she needed, but not leave her all alone.

The idea she'd had when she woke up this morning made practical sense, in it's own way, she thought.  But at the same time it scared her.  And it wasn't the idea itself that scared her so much as the fact that she'd had the thought in the first place.  Worse, that she thought it might even be a good idea.  It would certainly have an impact on her career future at the mission.  

The Mission, she suddenly thought.  Would she be throwing away all of the work she'd done there over the past 3 years?

For several decades the mission had been known for their work with men who had alcohol and drug problems and for one of the first programs developed specifically for women.  Amy's primary job was teaching basic personal finance classes and working one-on-one with women in setting up and managing a budget.

Ray, the director of the mission, attended the church she'd been going to, had been impressed with some of the volunteer work she'd done and thought her finance background and business experience would be beneficial.  At that point Amy had been in the corporate world for 5 years - since receiving her MBA.  Though she really liked some of the people she worked with, she'd been more than a bit disappointed by the ethics and integrity of many others.  Thinking the work at the mission would be more rewarding she didn't have too much trouble giving up the perks of corporate life and accepting a job with less than a quarter the income and probably twice the hours.  It would be a good alternative for a year or so, she thought.  It would at least give her some time to think.  She still wanted to work in the business world, but after recent experiences was in no rush.

When she first began she had visions of saving the world.  What she soon discovered though was that there were no easy cures and that the ideas that she was sure would cure many ills weren't so good after all.  Despite these setbacks in her idealism she dove in with enthusiasm - most of the time.

Ray thought it important that the staff of the mission spend a fair amount of informal social time with their 'clients'.  If there was a part of her new job that Amy had been dreading this was it and she put it off as long as she could.  Despite a very strong desire to help people, and in particular the women coming into the mission, Amy really didn't want to spend a lot of social time with them.  She wanted to teach her classes and do the one-on-one's, but keep a 'professional' distance at the same time.

To her surprise though, this had now become one of the best parts of her job.  She'd become friends with several of the women who'd been in her classes and enjoyed going out to dinner or a movie with them more than any of the corporate folks she'd spent the previous decade with.  This is not to say that there weren't a number of folks who came to the mission that she could barely stand to be around, but just that there were a number that she really liked.

Success in this world didn't come easy.  One of the first for Amy though, and a big one, had been Christy Harder.  Several people at the mission had worked with Christy and she seemed to want to change her life, but nothing ever worked.  Christy kept going back to her drug dealer and then to hooking to pay for it.  One day Amy invited Christy to lunch and at some level a connection was made.  Over the next several months their friendship grew.  Amy didn't push anything, but would just listen and occasionally talk.  Christy eventually completed detox for her crack addiction, moved into the mission for a year afterwards, and was now working at a coffee shop and nearing completion of her hygienist certificate.  

Amy's heart warmed thinking about Christy.  A little over half the women who began the program at the mission didn't make it.  Every time someone dropped out or she heard about a graduate who'd gone back to drugs Amy thought about Christy, or one of the other women who'd done really well.  This morning thinking about Christy took Amy's mind off the idea, at least for a little while.

The idea, Amy thought again with a sigh.  That one single idea could be so conflicting was in it's own way kind of a marvel to her.  Her upbringing and beliefs said that it was not only nuts but wrong.  The practical side of her said that it made complete and perfect sense.  This wasn't the first time she felt conflict like this, but was the first time she experienced it on such a big scale.

She took a sip of Latte and looked around at all of the people in the shop.  Had any of them encountered something so conflicting?  What had they done about it?

Suddenly she was beginning to regret the phone call she'd made this morning.  This would be one more in a long line of mistakes caused by her impetuousness.  She should have waited a day or two before actually acting on it.  And calling someone she hadn't seen in over 4 years was really stupid she thought.  Amy began scratching through her bag to find her cell phone when she was interrupted.

"Good morning!" Lee said as he walked back to Amy's table.  "Good morning." Amy replied with a smile, glad to see her old friend despite her thoughts just a few seconds earlier. Lee had been in undergraduate school at Ohio State with Amy.  When she took off to get her MBA on the east coast he took off to law school on the west.  After a couple of years in a DA's office he decided that defense was probably more to his liking and was now just a week shy of celebrating his 5th year as a defense attorney.  

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Copyright 2003 JTH
May not be reproduced in whole or in part in any form including electronic without the expressed written permission of the author


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