I ask this here, because this seems to be where the expert dommes are.    When a provider's profile on TER says she does S&M, the choices are "light," "heavy" and "spanking."  I'm not sure, but I suspect S&M refers to HER being dominant, except maybe "spanking," which I think means the guy can spank her.  Is that right?  

Is it weird for a provider to play at a little of both?  I sometimes enjoy being a little playfully and sensually dominant, but I really like someone taking control and making me his love slave!  If my feelings are not uncommon, do you think that it would be helpful for TER to make further distinctions in their S&M dropdown boxes?  Would you men be interested in that?  Or is it that guys are usually looking only for a domme and not a sub, and this wouldn't be useful?

Thanks,
Laurel

Hi Laurel,
S/M refers to Sado-masochism, and does not specify who is who. One of the first things I ask my clients is what they are into, or curious about. A broader term is D/s, referring to Dominance/submission, which can but need not include activities such as S/M, bondage, humiliation, roleplay (teacher-student, Mistress-slave, age-play like father-daughter which is one of my personal favorites)and many, many other activities only limited by one's preferences and imagination!)
Please DO have good communication with your would-be clients as to your and their limits and preferences, and if you can, find out as much as you can about the psychology of a scene that most turns them on. The activities themselves pale in comparison to the enjoyment that both parties can have  if the mind and the feelings are engaged during whatever activities are agreed upon.
Good Luck!
Lady Atria

I don't know a thing about S&M. I just wanted to say.....

"Hello young Lady, how have you been?"

An old friend

It's definitely NOT wierd to play at a little bit of both... as long as you're having fun, have fun! I don't know about the pull down choices for SM... maybe a simple "yes" or "no" would be good, and then a potential client can email and ask for more details.  I am personally much more submissive than dominant in general, but I did a doubles session last week where we tied a gentlemen up and lightly teased and tormented him for an hour... and it was FUN!!!!  So I think I might have to do more of that

Hugs*
Nicole

I always try to have a good time.  After all, it's all about ME!    (Just kidding... sort of.)  Seriously, I don't how any girl does this for very long if she doesn't have fun with it and enjoy herself.

I am submissive by nature--I want to please!  But, I have my dominant moods.  I have a friend who is very sweet and docile, but when her boyfriend wants to be tied up and beaten, she takes out all her frustrations with him with a paddle on his behind.  She says it's cathartic, and he loves it!


-- Modified on 3/10/2002 6:30:09 PM

I've been thinking of you lately.  If you will call or write me, I have something to tell you that you might find interesting.

xxxooo,
Laurel


-- Modified on 3/10/2002 4:10:04 PM

Laurel as you well know not all of us are looking for a Dom/Domme

So you like to switch when it comes to light S&M play. Just let those that are interested know that you are available both ways.

I agree that TER should rethink the S&M menu. Althought with all the other things they are always doing, who knows when they will get the time.

Just be careful of those bruises

Maybe this shows my inexperience with this sort of thing, but I wouldn't think that it would be safe for a provider to be a submissive with anyone who isn't a regular.  Doms, sure, but would you let a stranger/first timer tie you up?  

If so, send me email!  

Seriously, though, I just assumed that all providers who did S&M were doms.