TER General Board

something i'm trying to figure out
allsportstrophies 3168 reads
posted

so i'd like some input from fellow hobbyists and providers.
so i've come across a couple of providers who are really my type. one of them i had one of the best sessions with and we really clicked. however upon future attempts to schedule an appointment, the provider had a complete change of attitude and was more or less an asshole and wasted a good portion of my time. as a result i decided not to see her again.

an instnace of another provider- one i really wanted to see, we had set up a time and set all the things. however the day of, the provider pulled a no call no show. i had driven a long way just to see her, and even waited for a little bit (since i had made all that way), but numerous attempts led to nothing, wasting, literally, my whole day. the provider then replies to my email a couple days later with some sorry ass excuse.

so my question is, what would be the right thing to do? i know many would say move on. is there anyone with a different perspective? what would the experienced hobbyists do? these were well reviewed, high end providers, who were my type in a place of slim pickings. would you spend your money on a provider who did this again?

i don't know maybe i just wanted to vent, but there really should be some kind of closure for situations like this. provider's can be real assholes, even if they charge high end prices, that doesn't mean they're high end.

There's too many fish in the sea, to be left sitting around holding your own pole. ;)

his is such a personal matter, that would elicit many opinionated answers, which likely won't bring resolution to your problem at hand. So, I get that you probably feel better just to vent & hear how annoying other guys find the same situation. I get that.

The problem is, there are so many factors that one side of a story can not expose. She may have had reservations after finding something in her screening process, you two may have had an exchange of words in your communication -closer to the date- that made her uneasy leading up to the arranged meeting. Maybe there was a misunderstanding somehow, Blah bah ... you get the idea, maybe she is unorganized, unprofessional and so on.  

 So unfortunte as it is, sometimes we just have take the hit and bear a loss. It happens to us ladies and you guys. It sucks. Totally sucks. Sometimes no matter how much research you do, good reviews she has or on our end .. no matter how diligent we screen etc, things fall apart.

 That said, reach out and figure out what happened if possible. Otherwise, while you lost a little just think of it as maybe things happen for a reason and maybe it was for the best. That's all I got, best of luck in your future atempts at worthwhile encounters.

Sincerely & dearly,

Alex

Mutame595 reads

You really should move on because, the alternative is to appear needy and pathetic and, God forbid, perceived as a stalker. Can't tell from your alias whether you are new or not and where you are located. But there should be plenty of providers within driving distance of where you are.

My guess is that the two situations are related. If you used the first lady as a reference, she may have given a negative review to the second one. Who knows, but the only "closure"  is within your control and you get it by moving on. There is no other option.

Tippecanoe463 reads

Don't become a stalker.  Your post shows tendency of being obsessive compulsive and maybe that's the turn-off.  You want to have a relationship and 'talk' or email the providers once you leave.

My friend, its a transactional business agreement.  You get your time, and then its done.  She doesn't love you or want to be your friend.  Likewise, if she doesn't show or cancels, that is her prerogative, whether right or wrong.

You have control by not giving her your hard earned money, and crossing her off your list.  The great thing about this hobby is there are a ton of hot girls available and more coming into the pipeline all the time.

Keep revisiting to fix every glitch. When in fact people are going to leave open spaces and unfinished business constantly.  

Another mistake ppl make is they project  those glitches on to new people in their lives, be it providers, clients, or even general people, and try to fix the old glitches with the new person. That leaves for an impossible task, and also leaves the new person frustrated.  

The  more you can let go of the past glitches, the better it is not only for you, but for everyone around you.  

It's the equivalent of going on first dates and venting about how your ex did you wrong. Doesn't make for a great date

Could not agree more.  

The opinion of provider #1 sounds like the OP became infatuated with her and she wanted nothing to do with that type of arrangement. Her only outlet was to try and turn him off and hopefully he would go away peacefully and without incident. #2 may have been tipped off by #1 and decided to NCNS....her opinion although it was wrong.  

Now to the OP.....move on, treat this hobby as a business transaction and you will be ok.  

Posted By: Mutame
You really should move on because, the alternative is to appear needy and pathetic and, God forbid, perceived as a stalker. Can't tell from your alias whether you are new or not and where you are located. But there should be plenty of providers within driving distance of where you are.  
   
 My guess is that the two situations are related. If you used the first lady as a reference, she may have given a negative review to the second one. Who knows, but the only "closure"  is within your control and you get it by moving on. There is no other option.

SlavetoLust451 reads

Is there any other business that you would worry about so much if they treated you badly and/or flat out told you they didn't want you for a customer?  I can't think of any.

If you had a hard time finding your "type"
then tell the provider, that you like, what it is that you need for a positive outcome.
-see what happens, hey, you never know

other than that....

EXPAND your "type" of girl.  
Get yourself out of that box.

oh, and, if you make another appointment with the NC/NS girl,
you are a man who really does need punished

cuppajoe423 reads

Notice, they don't call it "catching", but fishing.  

I don't come home all bent out of shape if I don't happen to get any fish on a trip.  Count myself lucky to be able to get out.  Come to think of it, my odds of connecting with someone have been better than catching a trophy striper, so already that make me happy.

Trophy stripers AND trophy strippers?

cuppajoe560 reads

Yeah man!

Posted By: coeur-de-lion
Trophy stripers AND trophy strippers?

A bad day of fishing beats a good day of almost anything else.

Some day I really ought to try it out

Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish and he'll sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

seem to live in a sea of chaos.. and appointments can be something less than mandatory.. keep going.. you will meet others who take things seriously..

When you say these providers were your type, I have to assume you're basically speaking in terms of their looks. That's fine, of course; looks and reviews are about all any of us have to go on until we meet. So if you clicked on the first meeting with one, then experienced a change of attitude, and got a runaround or NCNS with the other, you might want to consider another type.

One thing about the change of attitude. The first time you connect to set up an appointment the provider might lay the flirtation on thick during the screening and when determining the length and time of the appointment. Once you're screened and familiar, she might drop some of the wooing and be more businesslike in setting the next appointment. If that's what you're talking about here, I'd overlook such "change of attitude" and try again.

If the pickings are so slim that you feel there's not many you really want to move on to, just cool it for awhile. Somebody will show up who strikes your fancy soon enough. Until then, consider the notion that the only thing worse than no sex is bad sex. Or even mediocre sex.

it's a bit hard to say but this sounds a bit like a newbie type situation. As others have said just move on but in the interest of maybe addressing you reaction to the events maybe think about:
1) If you're relatively new it's very easy to confuse the physical with the emotional and react to these P4P encounters are the same as with normal dating encounters. They are not -- you need to work on managing the emotional side here.
2) Could the be providers you saw have some good experience and saw that you were lacking the emotional control and about to make a big mistake that they didn't want any part of -- some newbies have a habit of falling in love and thinking they get the same from the provider. Unlikely unless you've been seeing her regularly for a year or more.
3) It's also possible that as professional they delivered for the first session but really didn't like something about how you do thing so just wanted to move on themselves.
4) They might be flakes and you've now seen them on their good days and they bad days.

In the end this is about pleasure so don't get too attached to anyone, don't sweat the small things or set your expectations too high and let go of the disappointments like water on a duck's back.

...the best thing to do is forget about the losers who NCNS or give you a crappy session and move on.

souls_harbor400 reads

I agree, don't get involved.   If you start thinking these workers are your girlfriends you will be heartbroken very soon

read on. There's a lot of missing info to be more "precise", but my generic take on situations like this is you have to follow both heads.  

You know what you like and sometime one makes sacrifices to attain their desires. As for the gal you saw and clicked with, lighten the fuck up. Maybe she had an off day, maybe her dog got run over, maybe maybe maybe. But it's up to you to walk away.  

As for the NCNS, that's more difficult because of the lost time. I guess you need to be very clear in the future that you're happy to travel the distance but need to know for sure if there's any change  
in her plans for any reason. I've taken that chance several times  
and fortunately wasn't bitten by the NCNS bug.  

I'm a firm believer in second chances. I believe in patience. I believe in understanding shit happens. I've also found great pleasure at the end of my being patient ... it's a business for both you and the provider but in the end, it's a PEOPLE business. And people aren't perfect.  

It's for you to ultimately decide where YMMV and hit the road bitch diverge.  

I'd be very interested in hearing what you learned from the responses and which path you'll be taking.  

Where do you live that there is such a short supply of good escorts?

-- Modified on 11/20/2016 11:07:27 AM

Asking yourself the same thing I told a provider recently:

What is it about me that attracts assholes?  

Answer that, and you can change things.

The OP needs to critically eye every part of his interaction with these gals to make sure he has not said or done something that would turn them off.

When things are always happening to you, then you must be the one causing same

The first gal...  has a crabby attitude when you tried to book, despite being respectful & previously having a good time with her.  You don't know what drama is going on in her life, but if she has a poor attitude at the booking, the date will not be better.   You did have previous success so perhaps, aftersome time has elapsed you might choose to circle back & she if she's more amiable.  It IS your choice.

The NCNS...  Again, you don't know what drama is going on in her life but YOUR attitude is the excuse was lame.   You wasted an opportunity.  What I cannot know is what value you place on your opportunities.  I had something similar with a well reviewed provider...  and I would not attempt see her now, not even if it was free BECAUSE I would not risk another opportunity on her.   If that is the case, you have no choice but to move on.

You say these gals "are your type".  I suggest you broaden your type.  This is not MATCH dot com.  You are looking for a temporary girl friend...  for just a few hours...   There are lots of well reviewed providers who take good care of us & will be respectful of your time.

Does life happen where a meeting fails?  Yes.  Does it happen regularly?  Not with great providers.  Mess with my head once, shame on you - mess with my head twice, shame on me.

Amazing how he knows own country and why men should see for more then those.... babes.,. truth is that all of those call themselves  here high end courtesans.. without ANY understanding that courtesans actually  are are daughters of very low to somewhat middle class.

Seek true intelligent woman -  those are no less in bed and way more.

http://youtu.be/nw3XAN3deEo

Cowboy...Cowboy

Well I'm packing up my game and I'm a head out west
Where real women come equipped with scripts and fake breasts
Find a nest in the hills chill like Flynt
Buy an old drop top find a spot to pimp
And I'm a Kid Rock it up and down your block
With a bottle of scotch and watch lots of crotch
Buy a yacht with a flag sayin' chilling the most
Then rock that bitch up and down the coast
Give a toast to the sun, drink with the stars
Get thrown in the mix and tossed out of bars
Then to Tijuana... I wanna roam
Find Motown and tell them fools to come back home
Start an escort service, for all the right reasons
And set up shop at the top of four seasons
Kid Rock and I'm the real McCoy
And I'm headin' out west sucker...because I wanna be a

Cowboy baby
With the top let back and the sunshine shining
Cowboy baby
West coast chilling with the Boone's Wine
I wanna be a Cowboy baby
Riding at night cause I sleep all day
Cowboy baby
I can smell a pig from a mile away

I bet you'll hear my whistle blowing when my train rolls in
It goes (whistle) like dust in the wind
Stoned pimp, stoned freak, stoned out of my mind
I once was lost, but now I'm just blind
Palm trees and weeds, scabbed knees and rice
Get a map to the stars, find Heidi Fleiss
And if the price is right I'm gonna make my bid boy
And let Cali-for-ny-aye know why they call me

Cowboy baby
With the top let back and the sunshine shining
Cowboy baby
West coast chilling with the Boone's Wine
I wanna be a Cowboy baby
Riding at night cause I sleep all day
Cowboy baby
I can smell a pig from a mile away

Yeah...Kid Rock...you can call me Tex
Rollin sunset woman with a bottle of Becks
Seen a slimy in a vette, rolled down my glass
And said, Yeah this dick fits right in your ass
No kidding, gun slinging, spurs hitting the floor
Call me Hoss, I'm the Boss, with the sauce in the horse
No remorse for the sheriff, in his eye I ain't right
I'm gonna paint his town red, and paint his wife white HUH
Cause chaos, rock like Amadeus
Find West Coast pussy for my Detroit players
Mack like mayors, ball like Lakers
They told us to leave, but bet they can't make us
Why they wanna pick on me...lock me up and snort away my key
I ain't no G, I'm just a regular failure
I ain't straight outta Compton I'm straight out the trailer
Cuss like a sailor...drink like a Mick
My only words of wisdom are just, Radio Edit
I'm flicking my Bic up and down that coast and
Keep on trucking until it falls in the ocean

Cowboy
With the top let back and the sunshine shining
Cowboy
Spend all my time at Hollywood and Vine
Cowboy
Riding at night cause I sleep all day
Cowboy
I can smell a pig from a mile away
Cowboy
With the top let back and the sunshine shining
Cowboy
With the top let back and the sunshine shining
Cowboy
Hollywood and Vine

-- Modified on 11/20/2016 2:53:42 PM

I am making myself available to those gentlemen who do feel uncomfortable buying sex from women on the bottom of their lives  

There are - unlike you- gentlemen who love true women and not sex workers as from Kid Rock song

You even do not know your won country and your own women  darling  

It is why you are here ?

As to myself I am just learning .. and so far I did learn who is who here and as a result I have pretty good dates !!!!
Kissess

and love from Ams now  

 



-- Modified on 11/20/2016 6:07:34 PM

a gentleman and a "true gentleman?"  I have considered the possibility that I may be neither, but wanted to ask anyway.

Very good question for this board  

"Gentleman and lady" those nouns have mostly rhetorical meaning  

While in fact here are johns and hookers*

* GG vocabulary.

So then yes - you are neither of those..
 and it WHY I do strive to learn about my dates with real life information and conversations  
and white lists and Ok from hooker and jonhs information is simply not enough to understand who you ARE

It is all in your hands  
whom you want to be.



-- Modified on 11/20/2016 7:44:48 PM

The question was what is the difference between a gentleman, and a "true gentleman."  Its a term you chose to use as the type of man you would like to see, so I thought you could enlighten us on what additional qualities a true gentleman has that an ordinary gentleman does not possess.  I would think it would be valuable information for those to have that are thinking about seeing you.  It would certainly be important to me to know I meet your expectations before I request an appointment.  I would think other hobbyists would agree.  Thanks in advance for answering this time.

GaGambler409 reads

Gentleman= a man who can afford her rates, and can tolerate her idiotic and barely intelligible posts

True Gentleman= a man who can not only afford her rates, put up with her nonsense, AND who is dumb enough to hire a sixty year old hooker using pics taken way back in the twentieth century.

First of all you in your ad on the NY board, you used a marketing ploy by saying "Last chance" hurry write own my email now while it's still on TER, blah blah blah... then you insulted the whole TER community by insinuated that TER members are more likely to have STDs and have LE problems! And lastly you said Nov 1-30 was the last chance to see you. Yet you are still here babbling about yourself, LE. But now here you are saying you get pretty dates here o TER. Which is it Pav? People on TER have STDs or you get good dates here?

So since you said you were "removing your ads, profile and reviews  from TER soon", when is soon? Inquiring minds want to know!

:-/

Steph

-- Modified on 11/21/2016 4:44:50 AM

GaGambler517 reads

after all "soon" means different things to different people and as you get older your sense of time changes. Now to a young woman, "soon" might be a matter of days or weeks at the longest, but when you get to be of a "certain age" like BBBBB, "soon" could be a year or more. lol

DO exists?

 
OO yes .. such as I am do exist!!  
 Just to make you jeoeus and go green  and become even more ugly and unhappy then you are already .

fake pictures fake pictures .. both of you never met me and screaming fake pics..
 jealousy ..
Oh well .. you are just pathetic with your FAKE pic and 60 old  notes.

I am head turning and look as not many women on this earth.

  I do Welcome  nice gentlemen and ladies  to meet me .
 yes gentlemen- on deep discounts - of they want to be nice to me and know me. ladies - I am unlike of many do not ask honorarium  to meet me if you are lady.

..I am very nice person as well .. despite trolls saying opposite here.  
 But .. troll be troll and very ugly trolls and it is why they are unhappy  

welcome to my site and welcome ask password - after screening of course

allsportstrophies417 reads

just to be clear i'm obviously not going in any expectation of engaging in a long term relationship, i'm just commenting on the women who charge so much but then NCNS, waste other people's time. where if a hobbyist were to do the same they have to pay a cancellation fee. We have to read an 'etiquette' page but it's not the same for them. i believe my time is just as valuable as another's. it's completely business, but when you do bad business people should know.

to the others asking what i would or was going to do. i guess you are right, move on is probably the best option, neither deserve my time or hard earned. i'm just really careful who i see, and put in some kind of effort to do so

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