Have read so many posts here about hobbyists getting to see women they could never see without paying.  Almost implying this was the sole reason hobbyists frequent providers.

Could be ONE reason, but I contend there are other reasons some of us choose to see a provider;

1)  convenience; we get to indulge when it is most convenient for us.........due to our busy schedules, hectic lives, or maybe we are traveling away from home.......and have some R&R.

2)  want it more often than........

3)  we simply choose more variety.

4)  more beneficial financially;  contrary to some opinions........we ALWAYS pay for pussy........in a variety of different forms; a date, a mortgage, cohabitation expenses etc.  When with a provider we pay, session by session only.......whenever we care to subscribe and can turn it on or off at our leisure without the expense of hurting someone's feelings.

5)  choose NOT to be involved emotionally;  maybe some forever, or for others, at certain points in our lives, we choose for the less complicated solution to satisfying our needs.

6)  a provider may be willing to accommodate some activities your SO will not.

Just a few but am betting there are more

our SO is no longer interested in stoking the fire....

So, I for one default to 5) for those times of need/want.

That said, I acknowledge that it often (always?) takes two to create a situation such as mine.

C'est la vie...

I somehow think that the majority of the reasoning for hiring an escort, at least in the United States, is that men (husbands or boyfriends) are no longer attracted sexually to the females that are part of their lives. We guys are visual characters. We will always be interested in good looking, slim, younger females. When our wives are no longer good looking, slim, and young, we seek out other endeavors. That is just the nature of the beast. It's hypocritical and callous. But, that's the way it is. Although I feel that woman are also interested in good looking, slim, and young men, they seem to have other priorities and interests as they get older. That is why the foreign model works so well. In Europe, as well as many Asian countries, men have mistresses. The woman understand and pretty much go along with it. In our Puritan society men are frustrated and many times feel guilty if they "cheat" on their wife or girlfriend. I would bet that there are fewer European and Asian men paying for sex than there are in this country. The reason being that many have affairs with females that are not prostitutes because there is no guilt associated with it.  

Just my opinion, though.

Prostitution is very widespread in almost all of Europe and Asia, not to mention South America where "machismo" lends itself to lots of men having mistresses. But in every one of these places prostitution is not only booming, but  perfectly legal in much of the world.

still another way of paying for sex?  Or..........mutually beneficial beyond the monetary component?

Europeans are, to my knowledge, no more prone or likely than Americans to having mistresses. Predictably, the arrangements that become known involve older moneyed men.

Regarding prostitution, one look at the streets of Rome or Berlin put lie to your statement about men being less prone to paying prostitutes. I have no knowledge or opinion regarding Asia.

I don't take issue with your sentiments, just some of your facts.

and a LOT of mistresses are married themselves.

Not all sex revolves around money. I know we joke about "Free sex" being the most expensive, but outside of our little world there are lots of people having sex without paying for it. Sometimes, a lot of times actually some freeloading guy is not only getting laid for free, but getting his lazy ass supported by a woman.

Free sex in my opinion doesn't really cost more money in a monetary sense like we all enjoy joking about, it's actually the emotional cost and the effort required that we are talking about. I have zero doubts that I could find a reasonably attractive, self sufficient woman, ten or maybe even twenty years younger than me who would be more than happy having sex with me without getting a penny of financial benefit for doing so, but then she would almost certainly expect me to fuck "ONLY her, and I just don't think I am capable of doing that for more than a few weeks at the most. BUT if I could be content with one woman, or in the case of a married man with a mistress, two women, Money would not need to be part of the equation.

And all that entails!

Steph xoxo

1) Yes absolutely

2) Yes absolutely

3) Yes absolutely

4) Yes absolutely

5) Yes absolutely

6) Yes absolutely

I thought for a few moments if I could add to or enhance your list. I can't think of anything. You've hit the nail squarely on the head.

misconception that men stray because they are no longer attracted to their wives. I think it's not that- at least not at first. The first step is the wife's indifference to sex, which leads to a sexually frustrated husband. The husband would happily re-engage with the wife if she showed interest. But over time the frustration builds into resentment, which leads to dislike, and then finally to aversion. But it's not like the guy wakes up one day and says, "Gee, Betty's gotten really unattractive. I think I'll cheat."

Of course, then we have to analyze why Betty's no longer interested in sex, which can range from having children (hormones and pure exhaustion, a changed body leading to insecurity, etc.) to a husband who is so busy that she feels neglected or overburdened with housekeeping/child care, and then becomes hurt and frustrated, then resentful, etc.  

But in my own experience, over the last 20 years, I have not found that men seek adult entertainment because they are unattracted to their wives. On the contrary, most of the married men I have seen are very complimentary of their wives. (I can actually only think of one man who has spoken negatively of his partner- but it had nothing to do with her looks at all.) It's more likely to be her apathy towards sex or his need for variety.

Oscar, Grammy, Emmy, is................all academic degrees.............the Nobel prize with all its assortments.............but somehow you deserve an award.

Such an articulate, comprehensive, and well thought out post............bravo.  You are one wise young lady!

END OF MESSAGE

It is the convenience and having the time to chase someone to get a little pussy. To me, this hell of lot convenient and highly cost effective (high ROI).

I see an ad, I am interested, set up a date, like the experience, put her on revisit list if not move to on.

Not quantum mechanics as you are trying to make P4P to be.

The guys who are obviously no longer on the radar of the  25 year olds they want to fuck. That makes sense.

But I think the post made by Sarah speaks more of the majority of guys who still want to be sexually active, however their partners do not for the reasons she stated.

SoftlySarah just described me.  I'm extremely attracted to my wife, who is a beautiful woman.  She was never that "into" sex, but we did all right and I never considered looking elsewhere.  But a few years ago she basically shut it down and made it clear it was not open for discussion.  I'm still the same me--help out around the house, bring home a good professional paycheck, drive her to the mall and wait around for her to finish shopping, listen to her when she needs encouragement, etc. etc.  To this day, she tells me "I am her best friend," so I know I'm doing the marriage thing right.

But I'm not allowed to even bring up the topic of sex or intimacy, lest I get the "you give me stress!" and "all you want is sex!" diatribes.  Yes, honey, I do desire sex with my wife, and the 3 times last year you laid there and waited for me to finish aren't really cutting it for me.

So, I made my choice about 3 months ago.  Either let the frustration and resentment build and build, until I no longer like my wife; or find release elsewhere.  I chose the latter.  What I look for in a provider is GFE.  Kissing, tenderness, ability to enjoy erotic expression.  Make me feel like a king for an hour.  I'm very generous in giving erotic attention; I'm not a selfish lover.  If my wife decided she would like to resume that part of our marriage, I'd quit the hobby tomorrow.

"Infidelity is universal. But which country boasts the most cheaters? The following is an excerpt from "Lust in Translation: Infidelity from Tokyo to Tennessee" (Penguin Books, 2007) by Pamela Druckerman.

IMO, men for the most part are complimentary about their wives regardless of the situation. Because they are complimentary about their wives does not mean they have not lost interest. Romance and sex are only a small part of a marriage. Most men, who are not romantically or sexually attracted to their wives anymore, still have affection and admiration for the other things that their wife brings to the marriage. We guys are always seeking sex and many of us are also seeking romance. After a few years, except in a few instances, both romance and sex have either gone out of the marriage or have been severely diminished, regardless of the other person's physical attributes or detriments. Also, as a part of the male beast, we are consistently seeking new endeavors, whether it be just an ego boasting foray or a younger, better looking, and sexier female. Marriage, as an institution, is primarily for having and bringing up kids. I don't think it was ever supposed to be a substitute for the biological needs of modern man or women, for that matter.  And, that is the reason why a great many marriages are falling apart. Also, how many people are trapped in marriages that they can't get out of, for one reason or another? Again, this is only my opinion having lived a lot of years and traveled the world for both employment and pleasure.  

100% correct to be sure.