the best sex I have ever had has been characterized by a sort of ebb and flow of, or exchange of dominance -  

speechless.  

I guess I'm and odd type -   I find pure submissive to be boring actually.  Best long term relationship of my life was with a Domme who provided bdsm services to women but who liked this sort of give and take and would egg me on until she got the dominance that she herself desired....

There always has to be an exchange of some part. But my point was, the exchange has to be real, not faked.  

it's something you're born with or learned during the growing-up stage. Pretty damn hard for a shy or submissive guy to change to a dominant kind of guy especially after he's all grown up and no longer a kid.  

Part of what makes first meetings so electric is discovering the balance in this area. If a woman is too dominant or too submissive, it's not as exciting. Where it goes after the first two minutes of the session is largely based on that discovery and the mesh of dynamics we approach each other with. Most providers want to be in control of the session structure (where it happens, what the menu consists of, what boundaries we observe), so that gives them like the first-move advantage. Were it chess, they'd always start with the white pieces. And this is a healthy challenge, whichever way it goes.

I have been in one leadership role or another for most of my life -  military, business etc -  I am of the personal opinion that leaders are born, not taught -

a very talkative sub. lol

It always 'rises to the occasion' for me.  

I agree with you to the extent that when two people have good chemistry and if neither is strongly oriented as dominant or submissive,  there is an exchange of initiative that make for good sex -  I think I am speaking of something a bit more pointed in this case though perhaps the difference is one of degree and not of kind -  and I also think based on my slice of experience that it is something that is a bit more limited with providers than otherwise -   anyone observing the session I mentioned would have thought that one or the other of us was quite a dominant type if they had not seen enough of the encounter to observe the exchange or roles.   I don't really know what to make of this but I have experienced this sort of dynamic exchange of roles most frequently with Asian women - provider or otherwise...  again though I have a number of experiences to draw from certainly not enough to be statistically significant.....

fabricated. You are either a natural born leader your whole life or a follower. There is no inbetween.  

You are more than welcome to 'think' of me what you like. I'm not stopping you. You're certainly not alone in that camp. Think away ...

But when it comes to submissive....   hell no.    
I bet I'm not anywhere near as talkative as you are.  Lol

In my case, I was quite content to follow for many years until I got good in my profession.  Over time, I've developed strong convictions about how things should be done, and have become much more comfortable leading both my clients and my staff.  The difference for me is that with experience I have developed real convictions about how things need to be done to achieve the results that I want to see.  

I do hear what you are saying, however, I still believe it can be rather black and white as far as leaders vs followers in this world. Followers are the majority in any realm anywhere on this planet. Leaders come few and far between who truly know how to 'lead', but it is instilled in them to lead. Following is not an option for them on any level. Whether they succeed or fail is not the point, they are doing things they need to do 'their' way and how they seem fit. And it's usually through their failures that they usually grow to be the fiercest of leaders, but it was and is always there inside of them ... to lead.

just because you have the qualities to inspire and command followers and devotees does not mean that you are leading them in a direction that is good for them -

Think away .........

Perhaps it is even "special" in terms of kind. I feel a difference in GFE whenever the woman seems to abandon the usual "routine." Maybe all I'm referring to here is not starting off with BJ OR DATY, but including those activities later in the session. I don't know. If breaking it down to positions and such, that deviation stands out as the easiest facto to point to.

your 'every move' by the minute of life LOL. I don't. And that certainly goes for any date. 'Planned' does not work on any level, you should know this. I'm actually surprised I have to tell you of all harmonious people this very notion.  

And those with the necessary experience are the ones leading those "natural"  leaders along.  Ha ha

I guess only with the blue pill...  LMAO

"pure" submissiveness is boring only for those more drawn to superficiality and games than stark truth and authenticity. now of course, this does not mean that the true submissive experience will be every man's cup of tea. but "boring?" that's just offensive.

I often feel that the PROVIDER had a set pattern that she follows.
Much like:
1) hug,LFK, chat
2) DFK, Enter bedroom (shower, etc.)
3) BBBJ
4) DATY
5) K9, 69, or CG
6) MISH & remaining positions
7) 1st pop
8) cuddling & 2nd BJ
9) second pop

Absolutely not. Not here not anywhere. It is not a turn on in the least for me.

those girls who recycle guys hourly who look at you as a damn # and not a human being. To each his own, but if you don't want 'routine' don't see 'routine'.  

agree completely -

When dom/sub play ends up being are we or are we not going to break out of the standard routine, things flatten.

Yeah, that mental image of the conveyor belt haunts a lot of us.

I have tears in my eyes from your comments on this post. Never change DA