Cheese legs , they go and eat at buffets ! Cosette it bad enough these guys live with them but to start talking to them about sex, no you just don't do that .....! Let them. Fuck the pool boy a couple times in the summer and let these poor men hobby ! Most are only 1 cup guys don't make them waste it on their wives ! Don't be cruel .....
...
Posted By: Cosette
What's your biggest reason for not encouraging the "why are you not having sex with me, you know that's not healthy and I need it" conversation?
Is it fear? Ambivalence?
Have you brought it up and she slapped you?
Curious minds want to know.
Latin guys on TV , remember ricky martin livin la vida loca ? Housewives were rubbing every day to that shit , all sorts of other crazy shit ...no leave them be
cottage cheese legs (or thighs, or butt), which is one way to describe cellulite. Yech.
In a relationship and forget to be sexy for their partner ..
Posted By: inicky46
cottage cheese legs (or thighs, or butt), which is one way to describe cellulite. Yech.
If not more. Two weeks ago we jumped each other's bones 10 times. My review score for her would be an 11/11 every time.
21 years and still madly in love with her. She's not the reason I hobby.
There seems to be a lot of young guys here who seem to have gotten married and have no sex life with their wives .perhaps you could give advice ...maybe they'll read this and pm you ...I think you have a great relationship , is she faithful , does she work , what's the key to enjoying one another ? Don't keep the secret share the wealth ..marriage is nice but a loveless one sucks !
Posted By: DC.
If not more. Two weeks ago we jumped each other's bones 10 times. My review score for her would be an 11/11 every time.
21 years and still madly in love with her. She's not the reason I hobby.
That I have hobbied throughout my marriage. I was a hobbyist before I met her and I remained who I am.
I have never felt the need to make sex an issue for us, so she has never felt pressured. I have NEVER allowed her to feel unappreciated or taken for granted by giving her my undivided attention whenever I'm with her. I've consistently surprised her with gifts and small gestures (more important), and I've done so because I've wanted to, not because it's expected.
In short, I've always let her know she's loved.
Be that as it may, it's more due to her than me. I picked well, and she doesn't have any of the health issues that some of these guys have described. I'm sure those guys have loved just as hard but got dealt a bad medical hand. I have great respect for those guys who do this while still sticking by their wives.
DIDNT used the hobby to replace your time together and doubt you would ...you enjoy and respect one another , marriage comes first ...and you keep your hobby in check within certain boundaries ..most important was that she as not replaced in any way ...
Sure and it works and has for men for a century ..
Posted By: DC.
That I have hobbied throughout my marriage. I was a hobbyist before I met her and I remained who I am.
I have never felt the need to make sex an issue for us, so she has never felt pressured. I have NEVER allowed her to feel unappreciated or taken for granted by giving her my undivided attention whenever I'm with her. I've consistently surprised her with gifts and small gestures (more important), and I've done so because I've wanted to, not because it's expected.
In short, I've always let her know she's loved.
Be that as it may, it's more due to her than me. I picked well, and she doesn't have any of the health issues that some of these guys have described. I'm sure those guys have loved just as hard but got dealt a bad medical hand. I have great respect for those guys who do this while still sticking by their wives.
but its me, not her. Got to the point where I wasn't fit to live with, and the underlying reason was that I was unhappy with the prospect of going to my grave without experiencing other women. Now I am much happier and a much better husband. Getting into this subculture was the price I had to pay to move ahead in my life.
Posted By: DC.
I have never felt the need to make sex an issue for us, so she has never felt pressured. I have NEVER allowed her to feel unappreciated or taken for granted by giving her my undivided attention whenever I'm with her. I've consistently surprised her with gifts and small gestures (more important), and I've done so because I've wanted to, not because it's expected.
In short, I've always let her know she's loved.
Yep, fat, cheese legs, hair everywhere no matter how much you beg her to trim it at least (I'm talking 190 and 5 foot 2) with more hair than Chewbacca. Despite all that, I stay because she's a good person
Kick your ass !!!! Did she give you children ? Help her to get in shape perhaps if I'm correct she just let herself go ...? Try bro , not a skinny one but fit ??? She loves u and u love her and that's all that matters ....
Posted By: Fridays117
Yep, fat, cheese legs, hair everywhere no matter how much you beg her to trim it at least (I'm talking 190 and 5 foot 2) with more hair than Chewbacca. Despite all that, I stay because she's a good person
have sought help from all points, tried all advice and have had the conversation many times over. Perhaps for years. Many of us love our wives/SO's, we are parents together, partners and friends... but we cannot live without the physical intimacy, without touch, without libido and desire.
I don't know that it is a matter of boredom, complacency, a desire for "strange" or excitement from either side... the possible issues are endless. To some extent, what counts are the results, and here we all are.
So many threads ask "would you stop if your SO..". The consensus among those with SO's usually seems to be "yes".
There is still mystery in the world, and I think this is one of them... the unexplainable, the why. If we had the answers, I suspect many would not be here.
Some might suggest simply "ending" a relationship and finding one better... yet, we all know this is not a simple option, perhaps not desired, and the mystery remains - will that next relationship devolve to the same?
I guess, if we have all initiated the conversation, the conclusion is that "It takes two hands to clap".
There's almost always a reason for the lack of sex that goes beyond any physical concerns. There's likely problems in other areas of the marriage. Women often use sex as weapons, as my ex did all the years we were together. I didn't realize that until we'd split.
I didn't like her weight gain, but I still desired her. Once menopause hit, things went downhill.
Some wives can be talked to, but mine could not. Raising a subject like that would have just pissed her off. She would rather let an issue get worse and worse than talk about it. And, so, we're divorced.
My alcohol counselor wanted to see her, just to get some idea of who this woman was that I'd been talking about. She confessed to him that, ever since menopause, she'd been servicing me once or so a year with a bj because she knew I needed it, but not because she wanted to. I'd noticed that the bj's had gone from anything better that I've seen in porn to the sort of mindless act I'd expect from a high school girl. When my counselor told me this, I was furious.
Couples should try to talk things out if both want a good physical and emotional relationship. If one doesn't then nothing can be done.
all I got back was accusations of being over-sexed and defensiveness.
Why she ever was astonished when she found out about my hobbying is the real shocker.
I guess it's just a sad tale made none the less tawdry by its oft retelling.
...and the answers vary from, "we've been too busy and I'm tired by the time the kids are asleep" to "sometimes I just don't feel like it" to "we just did it 2 weeks ago, geez!". Or, it's allergy season, or she's pre, post or during menstrual... (Irregular cycle never know when she's getting it). Just after the kids were born I got snipped so I wouldn't have to hear her complain how the latex bothered her skin, still didn't help, just as much, or little as before.
When we are on vacation alone w/o the kids we fuck like bunnies and I get her massively great BJ's, I get to DATY, we go at it like teenagers. That happens once, maybe twice a year.
It's not enough.
I want it every day or failing that 3-4 times a week. I'm lucky if I get one or two in two weeks and almost never a BJ. That's why, to relieve the pressure I jerk off, but my brain isn't satisfied with that forever, so I hobby about once a month. It usually works out to be on an "off week" and gets me through to the next time
Already had it 20 years ago. Multiple times. Then she asked me to sleep in the guest bedroom "because I snore." By that point, I had a son that needed raising and a mother not fit to do it on her own, so I stuck around to raise him. Also some bullshit about "better or worse" that I took seriously.
Now he's on his own, I'm looking towards retirement in a few years but divorce would cost me most of what I've worked 35 years for and if I did divorce her, what are the prospects of finding a woman who would be happy with me (and vice versa) for a guy in his early 60's?
Instead, I don't bother even asking her any more (haven't for years and years) and that seems to suit her. We're housemates and that's about it. A shoulder hug and kiss on the cheek when our last dog died is the last time we touched other than accidentally.
You wonderful ladies are the only physical intimacy and loving (if rented) touch some of us have and I hope we all appreciate that.
Just ain't worth it sometimes. And a lackluster performance kills a woody for me. Ya see married women are diffrent they get all comfortable and shit and quit trying. Mine actually isn't too bad depends on the phase of the moon I think. But even when it's regular ya can't beat the rush of a new partner, the exploring and getting to know a new partner. It runs cycles at my house, I won't beg I flirt and stuff sometimes she blows me off and I just ignore her and next time I do it she'll take care of buisness.
But from what I can tell most married women just don't give a damn, they sit around and watch reality tv and swell up like a fucking tick. Also you're in trouble if she's reading those damn women's magazines damn things are like 200 pages of reasons she shouldn't fuck ya!
She liked it, I liked it and we did it with love. I think I was probably the only man on here that really loved a woman who loved in return. I guess that makes me some kind of a mangina or whatever is the going description of happily married and faithful man. It took me about 4 years of mourning her death to realize I needed feminine companionship. Thankfully, I have found that in several compatible escorts. Thank you ladies!
...there seems to be quite a pattern from what clients tell me: once the kids come along, the sex stops. I don't think I've ever heard anyone say "she got unattractive so I had to go elsewhere." Instead, it seems that these ladies are just flat out not interested in sex, and from what I understand, this is the absolute last resort for the husbands.
In any event, I always knew I didn't want kids, but after hearing all of this stuff, I'm ready to just get my tubes tied.
Posted By: Cosette
What's your biggest reason for not encouraging the "why are you not having sex with me, you know that's not healthy and I need it" conversation?
Is it fear? Ambivalence?
Have you brought it up and she slapped you?
Curious minds want to know.
And people, make a 'donation' on Earth Day. It's important.
-- Modified on 3/26/2014 5:32:42 PM
Female grizzlies have a litter size that varies from one to four cubs, with an average litter of two. Grizzly bears have a promiscuous mating system: cubs from the same litter can have 'different fathers'.
Cubs are born in the den in late January or early February and 'remain with the female' for 2 to 3 years before the mother mates again and produces another litter.
Cubs usually 'remain with the mother' for 2 1/2 to 3 1/2 years, during which time the mother WILL NOT MATE...
Similarities?
All mother species are the same, human or animal, it's just how it is and how it always will be. Babies or cubs will ALWAYS come first over anything, no matter who or what gets in her way. And that is why this world is a 'necessary means' and always will be. There is no 'changing' that fact.
Having a kid kills the sex life. It makes me wonder how some people have 5 or 6 kids...
13or14years ago..My wife said no more..sorry..just let me knowwhat you want and I'll try tokeep you happy..
So,for 13 years.. I tried.. I waited.. I hoped she would somehow change her mind.. she said "you have always known I was never into it that much".. so yes we had the conversation many times.. Now zerocontact.. I feel nothing for her, but she is a very nice person.. wenever had kids so that's nit the excuse.. After 40 + years.. I'm fond of her family.. we get along.. no arguments.. very polite.. but I can't live that way.. so 6 months ago started in with the hobby. some say.. get a divorce.. nope.. that would destroy everything I have saved.. (like many others) so "it's cheaper to keep her " as the saying goes..and I like her family and my family likes her.. so path of least resistance.. divorce is way too destructive..
Nail on head there. I think she may kill me in my sleep if she finds out but after being pushed away for 15 years I gave up.
menopause is frequently blamed.
As for the younger clients, they have confided some underlying relationship issues that are so entrenched as to have become (seemingly) insurmountable.
The last 1%:
I did have ONE client who said he had a great friendship with his wife, but no sex for 10 years. He was young and cute. But in bed...
He had ED...he also needed to treat the other female as a submissive. He wanted to practice his wresting holds during sex and wanted the female to enjoy (light to moderate) pain. He also required anal penetration. I could understand the wife bowing out, if that wasn't her thing. It was a lot even for me to handle as a professional.
Do you ever wonder how much posts like this make guys want to see you?
-- Modified on 3/26/2014 6:29:49 PM
anything weird, or infringing upon anyone's life...and stop trying to instill fear that I should conduct myself in a certain way to be seen by guys. I've always made it incredibly public that I enjoy dissecting relationships between men and women, monogamy, sex drives, legalization, etc.
"Have you brought it up and she slapped you?"
Really?
Posted By: Cosette
anything weird, or infringing upon anyone's life...and stop trying to instill fear that I should conduct myself in a certain way to be seen by guys. I've always made it incredibly public that I enjoy dissecting relationships between men and women, monogamy, sex drives, legalization, etc.
you get to know me, you'll be able to pick it up.
and others have also expressed that to me.
Stay the course, cutie.
She started not having time for us when she started back to school 15 years ago. It got to where the only time it was even mentionable was after 2:00 am on a work day, so it is all my fault. As i am in bed typing this she is watching TV, and will be there till she wakes up. I am trying desperately to get back to work (job got exported) so that i can hobby more. I know it sounds stupid but there are times that the companionship part is worth about half what i spend on a whole encounter. Spooning with a hottie and just letting her talk does so much to improve my attitude. Is this TMI?
Well Dr. Cosette, my actions are at least half of how I got to this state. I own them and I can't take them back. Talk won't change that and people in my field have a technical term for this, it's called "cheap talk." Some things can't be undone. I try to be in the moment as much as possible, and what better way to spend the moment than with a woman who truly wants you to fuck her - right here, right now? That is a fantastic way to unite mind and body in the present, and if you are present then your actions will be right
Dear Cosette:
I am just wondering what makes you have this question. Are you starting to see your regulars more often than usual? Also are your guys starting to tell you intimate details to where at times you are learning more than their wives? It seems that you might know more and also at times be more intimate with them than their SO's ?
I quickly learned there's quite a few areas one can excel in as an escort, fetishes, approaches, etc. Mine has evolved into this, some sort of twisted/unconventional therapy I suppose.
During our courtship we discussed the 5 years of single life with children after first husband's passing. She said she had not had sex & she could take it or leave it. I thought how honorable, from the way it was explained (offers were from married men, not dates).
As soon as we were married the young daughter tried to break us up & was allowed to control what we did in our bedroom. ("I can hear everything you say or do)" So sex was shut off except for once a year trip out of town. She promised "it wouldn't always be like this" but it has been... even after the children moved out. Until it stopped. She avoids, denies, changes the subject... allows & complains of any touching, no kissing, no affection. Once a year sex is not a complete marriage... She deceived me as much as my ex did (who hated me... but knew she'd lose her meal ticket if she shut it off completely so I was rationed to once a month... until the money ran out.)
I'd be wiped out financially if I left...
I have tried talking to her repeatedly & she denies it or ignores it. The latest excuse is my weight but it's been 25 years & even when I lost substantial weight it made no difference. The truth is... although she enjoys sex when we have had it... that she had no urge and has not in the period I've known her. If I had known, I'd not have married her.
Check out this Slate interview with Esther Perel. I think she nails the answer to the "why do we cheat/have affairs" question (beyond the obvious "not getting any at home"). Discuss!
