Write Review
2,075,442 Total Reviews 3,685 New Reviews
11,520 Users Online

TER General Board

A gift basket of bananas serves two important functions - eomteeth_smile
Bonobo Schlong 5121 reads
posted


END OF MESSAGE

Omniseeker5911 reads

I was recently reflecting on what we, as hobbyists, have to do before, during and after a date. The list keeps growing:

Write a nice introductory letter and wait anxiously for a response.
Supply name, work phone number, soc sec number and dental records.
Prepay via non-refundable bank debit.
Book a hotel room, not too cheap, not too expensive.
Buy flowers, candles, oils, perfumes, etc, etc, etc.
Leave phone message with room number information, trying desperately not to sound like a dumb-ass.
Take multivitamins, caffeine pills and protein supplements.
Drink a gallon of pineapple juice.
Pace around room or watch TV nervously between the scheduled appointment time and 15 minutes later, when she finally shows up. (Alternatively, visit the john about 4 times due to previous activity.)
Pretend to not be overwhelmed when she finally does arrive.
Try not to singe arm hair while lighting candles (yes, this happened to me).
Pace yourself to be able to hold out for the entire session, or take Viagra if multiples are offered.
Beg father time to SLOW DOWN! (Alternatively, beg her to SPEED UP!)
Agonize over the amount of tip to offer.
Crash big time when the date is finally over.
Write a review that includes some (but not all) of the juicy details in the first paragraph and the remainder in the second, while trying to adhere to TER's cryptic rules for submission.
Run a speling and grammar checking.  ;^)
Hope and pray that she's not laughing at you behind your back or blacklisting you from seeing other providers.
Come up with a lame-ass excuse for your SO as to why the monthly balance has dipped so low lately.

This got me thinking ... is it worth it?
You betcha!!!!!

Did I miss anything?


-- Modified on 10/2/2002 11:13:11 AM

ReplyQuoteReport
scotdaman4438 reads

ReplyQuoteReport
Omniseeker3436 reads

ReplyQuoteReport
crack snacker3617 reads

ReplyQuoteReport
Taste great! Less Filling5009 reads

ReplyQuoteReport
CapnIzzy4874 reads

lol - funny stuff!

I especially like the pacing back and worth starting 15 minutes before the date is suppose to begin and washing Mr. Happy with a wash cloth after each trip to the john making sure you don't have any excess drip.  Why is it we have to pee so much right at that time?

But when you open the door - and the picture is dead on - my heart skips a beat.  Damn right it is worth it!

ReplyQuoteReport
PUMPKINEATER5051 reads

I thought only I did that. The other reason for pacing and not sitting is to make sure your croch and butt don't sweat. Uh oh, did I give away a trade secret?

ReplyQuoteReport
Omniseeker3590 reads

ReplyQuoteReport
JennaX3091 reads

That was a great mental picture!

It made me laugh outloud... nevermind that everyone in the hotel lobby is looking at me sideways like I'm the only one who got the joke.  (still giggling)
Your Slut,
Jenna X.

ReplyQuoteReport
Bonobo Schlong5122 reads

ReplyQuoteReport
MIKE10103346 reads

Doing what you have to do to have the cash to participate in this hobby?  Worse for some but better for others.  I guess that all depends on your frame of reference.

ReplyQuoteReport
SexyCurvesDC3902 reads

The list is more like this...

Shoot me an email to say hello, introduce yourself, and tell me a few of the lovely ladies you've seen before so I can contact them to find out that you are NOT a psycho maniac but are indeed a sweetie guy.

Plan the date and time.

Receive an email from me the day before or the day of, letting you know the hotel name and location.

Arrive on time and call me for the room number.

C'mon upstairs... get greeted with a cozy room pre-lit with candles, get a big snuggly hug and maybe something to drink, and relax!

That's it :)

The review part is, of course, up to you!

Hugs*
Nicole

ReplyQuoteReport
BOLTED3325 reads

Also your checklist for the checklist, a hideaway pocket so the wife does not find out about the checklist and the eros lube to possibly get a little greek.
A good shavin where the sun don't shine and oh, yes, a little deo for the b.o.
LOL!

ReplyQuoteReport
PUMPKINEATER2919 reads

Put on your best underware that you reserve only for encounters.
OR
Buy new underware.

Buy breath mints.

15 minutes before scheduled time, eat one breath mint every 3 minutes.

Actually the last step really paid off for me once. After the initial greeting of a DFK, one of the first words out of the lovely lady was "thanks for smelling clean".

ReplyQuoteReport
vannessa3630 reads

Oh my! That is too funny!!!

ReplyQuoteReport
Post Reply Back To Forum
Register Now!