Some years ago, a provider asked me if I had really seen the provider who I had given as a reference. I said that I had, so the provider asked "Then what is her real name?"
To answer your question, I never ask the first name of a provider. Not knowing a provider's real name is one of the many subtle ways of maintaining the appropriate distance. In other words, keeping the relationship at a business, rather than personal, level.
So, is it okay to ask a provider their first name? It's not like you want to stalk them but a real forst name could be good. At the same time, there is a reason that they use stage names right????
Some years ago, a provider asked me if I had really seen the provider who I had given as a reference. I said that I had, so the provider asked "Then what is her real name?"
To answer your question, I never ask the first name of a provider. Not knowing a provider's real name is one of the many subtle ways of maintaining the appropriate distance. In other words, keeping the relationship at a business, rather than personal, level.
Because I like to take the time to get to know each of my gentlemen friends very well, I enjoy the intimacy of sharing real first names. But I would be uncomfortable with someone right out asking me and I always wait until I have met him in person before revealing it.
I'm sure this comfort level varies greatly by provider, so my advice to you would be to let her offer it, don't ask for it!
I met a provider many years ago with a very exotic name that obviously wasn't her own. I didn't care one way or the other but after seeing her for about a year (monthly or more) she told me her supposedly "real" name; but it wasn't. It was just a name that she would use for clients like myself who were regulars.
It wasn't for another five years that I found out her real name and then only because we were going on a trip together and she had to use her real name at the airport.
I was a bit shocked, but I was a lot younger then.
One of my ATFs has shared some of her life with me; my other ATF has only moved the curtain back a little, and I do not know her real name. We have a GREAT time together, and knowing her real name would not change that....
Seriously. I hate getting asked what my first name is. If I wanted you to know my first name then I wouldn't have given you a different name to begin with.
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