I have to agree with you.  Most often, it's the woman who gets the proverbial "short end" of the stick when it comes to climaxing in a 69 position, but it's also not the best position for a man.  For men, the frenulum is the most sensitive part of the penis, so a position where the woman's tongue is touching the underside of the shaft is the best position for oral stimulation.  69 puts her tongue on the top of the penis, where there are fewer nerve endings and takes longer to arouse from this position.  

 
Likewise, the natural licking movement of a man's tongue in licking "upward" is less effective in the 69 position because the direction of the licking is with the "grain" of the clitoral hood, which shields and protects the clit from direct stimulation until she reaches a certain point in her arousal.  Licking her up from between her legs pushes the hood up and away so the clit is often exposed to more direct stimulation, which speeds up arousal, which many women require to reach an orgasm in a reasonable amount of time.    

 
You can often spot limited-experience males from their reviews where they say, they "asked the lady for 69."  69 may look great from a porn perspective, but it's NOT the best position for effective mutual stimulation of the genitals for the man or the woman.  

There are lots of positions that are suboptimally mutual but deliver a variety of experience. I mean missionary -- the gold standard -- might not be mutual for everyone, especially if they have less compatible body sizes. Many positions are not mutual at all. I daty for her pleasure, it doesn't do much for me in the moment. I assume a BJ is the reverse situation. So no, I don't think imperfection is a valid criticism of 69. It's just one in a series of experiences to mix up for variety.

And all this time, I thought I was just doing it wrong…
I should have known better. 😳

Well said, I'll add that for this reason you could say 69 ISNT for beginners. Partners more familiar with each others bodies would be able to make the most of the position. 69 is great for deep throating, as the throat is in a better position to open up to the natural curve of the penis. For DATY in the 69 position, a full bottom lip can provide just as must stimulating pleasure as a tongue, but this is also a great position to get super messy and suckle on lady bits. Personally I think 69 is for everyone of all skill levels. No need to make "perfection" the goal, just explore each others bodies and see what works.

You have a favorite right? We all do. But we dont eat it everyday, as that would get boring and we wouldn't love it as much. Much like sex, we have our fave position, but we dont only stick to that one position, do we? For me, 69 is just a change of the sexual routine and I enjoy it for what it is. Yes, anatomically speaking, it works better with some girls than others based on my partners height but I still find it fun as it is a bit unique.  
One thing I learned to enhance the pleasure, and you mentioned it, is to take turns while in that position pleasing each other. Then you can concentrate more on the pleasure. Just a thought. Interesting post!

I can take Cilantro or leave it.😁 But don’t get me started on Cardamum. That crap tastes like Camphor. Ruins every dish they add it to. I’d almost rather 69 than eat THAT.

"Without the resistance of the medium, there is no art."

I agree it's a difficult move to pull off successfully.  But the tension,  and balance required to ease that tension, may be part of what makes it fun. If I can gorge myself on my girl's holiest-of-holies while she's spit-shining my knob, and we can both give and receive at the same time, why wouldn't i do it. It doesn't have to end with rapturous success (however one measures that). It just needs to be fun.

And BTW, watching 2 women 69 (as I did a couple of nights ago) is one of the most beautiful sights I can imagine. It doesn't have to be perfect to be art.

Seldom.  Too many higher priorities in a limited time.  But always enjoyed it.

What is the abbreviation for blow job + fingering, which I happen to enjoy a lot?
61 is BJ + one finger?
6F or 6V or 6> is  two fingers?
6E or 6W or 6M is three fingers?
6X is four fingers
.
Or do I have it backwards?
19
F9, V9
E9, W9
X9

I don't often do 69 with my partner. However, I like variety so sometimes I will request it. I can't speak from my partners point of view, but I enjoy the feeling of having my partner's tongue on top of my cock. For me, I find it difficult to orgasm via straight BBBJ and much prefer a tight pussy. However, I have reached orgasm orally a few times when my partner and I are in 69 position. The visual picture of her ass and wet pussy while she is sucking on me can send me over the edge.

I have always loved starting off by doing the 69, for me it’s really get me going, it’s nothing like having my face buried in some pussy while she have my dick in her mouth, it’s really do turn me on and get me going, especially when i was at my sexual peak which was when I was 40 to 48!