I cheated on my wife with her cousin (actually it was just a handjob/blowjob).  My wife cheated on me with a neighbor. The neighbor cheated on my wife with a Trans Sexual Street walker whore in her car.  My wife's cousin got dumped by her man who she supported in jail for 3 years.

Who should kiss who's ass the most (for forgiveness). ?

like a soap opera from W. Virginia, and I figure you are all blood relatives anyway!

This is ratings gold.  Will somebody be willing to throw a chair at some point?  I smell sweeps week.

the universe will do it for you.

to be excluded from being the kisser. The universe does act as though it has a sense of humor on occasion. And not.

I'd love an invitation to a barbecue in your back yard. I'll bring the salad. With a little luck, I can get it tossed. You could even get away with a cover charge.

Sounds like a the typical 21st century American family. There are plenty of off-setting penalties here. Better for all to just forgive and forget...or simply split up and each of you look for the next victim.