The following is likely old hat for experienced hobbyists, but it is new for me. I have seen lots of posts about the hobby being all about the money, and providers not wanting much to do with hobbyists off the clock. I have conducted myself all along in this hobby, as if these these guidelines were gospel.
I have seen a particular UTR provider about half a dozen times. Always on business travel. Pure outcall, and nothing else. From the beginning, I have felt that the amount of fun we had was unusual, but chocked it up to her being really good at her job. I find her personality compelling and she is gorgeous. She knows I think a lot of her. Today I reached out after getting good news and asked about celebrating with a dinner date.
She says yes. I then ask about the donation, and she immediately tells me that she wants zero incremental compensation, because she enjoys hanging out together so much. She then also tells me that it would "always" be this way. I was expecting to pay her full rate for the time at dinner. This made my week, I have to say. I intend to show her an amazing time. I have no illusions that what is going on is still business, but I am damn thrilled with her attitude on all of this.
Question for others who have been down this path. This seems like a situation where I should tip or show my appreciation somehow. Feels like paying her nothing extra is taking undue advantage. Any ideas
You must realize that the dinner date packages the prostitutes sell are usually 4 hours. What prostitute doesn't want some old fart buying that package? Knowing full well that the fucking part is over in an hour, or less.
Some of you old farts really need to man up.
So this tool is supposed to pay for a dinner package AND tip her? hahahahahahaha
You're paying her for more than an hour with her dinner date package. So she's telling you that she doesn't want more to just eat on your dime already?
What a deal you're getting.
Ignore what anyone else tells you here. You're already overpaying for someone to just eat. She'll always love that deal.
If you want to see if she actually gives a shit about you, ask her to just have dinner. And go dutch. You'll find out real fast why so many know that it's all about the money. That's what prostitutes do, they fuck men for money.
I have seen a particular UTR provider about half a dozen times. Always on business travel. Pure outcall, and nothing else. From the beginning, I have felt that the amount of fun we had was unusual, but chocked it up to her being really good at her job. I find her personality compelling and she is gorgeous. She knows I think a lot of her. Today I reached out after getting good news and asked about celebrating with a dinner date.
She says yes. I then ask about the donation, and she immediately tells me that she wants zero incremental compensation, because she enjoys hanging out together so much. She then also tells me that it would "always" be this way. I was expecting to pay her full rate for the time at dinner. This made my week, I have to say. I intend to show her an amazing time. I have no illusions that what is going on is still business, but I am damn thrilled with her attitude on all of this.
Question for others who have been down this path. This seems like a situation where I should tip or show my appreciation somehow. Feels like paying her nothing extra is taking undue advantage. Any ideas?
that she wants zero incremental compensation, because she enjoys hanging out together so much.
So the OP is paying what he normally pays for a 1 hr. (maybe 2 hr.) date and then enjoying a pleasant dinner either before or after for NO increase in cost.
The real question is how many HOURS are his dates and at what PRICE? If he is already paying 700-1k every time he sees her then the "dinner date" time costs her nothing and she gets a free meal.
This is in a major, expensive market. The hourly rate I pay is about half to two thirds the going rate there, for someone of her caliber. I hobby in this city a lot, so I am very confident in making that comparison. Cynicism is making a comeback here by the looks of things. Maybe I should take her to McDonalds or Taco Bell to see where I really stand? 
.
Yep, that is it. I always book two hours, and she is telling me to pay her the exact same amount of cash as I always do. At face value, this is going to mean about four hours for the price of two. Except that I won't cheap out that way. She has no "packages" as bbfs seems to think. She doesn't have a web site or any on line presence at all.
Now there is yet another bonus to all of this. I have apparently agitated bbfs. Can't beat that.
There have been girls who throw in a dinner for two hour customers. That does not mean you get more (free) sex after the dinner. The sex part is being paid for out front.
There are some girls who feel that ANY time spent should be at regular price. Others throw in the dinner date if it's a mutli- hour session.
Had to read the OP several times (yes, I am slow that way). It is not entirely clear what "extra compensation" entails.
Assuming she means "pay the regular fee for in-private time but nothing for the time spent at dinner", then graciously accept her offer and see if you get any repeats on this - that will answer your question.
I would not "tip" her or give her anything extra. She is a grown woman and has made her generous & flattering decision. Respect her by taking it at face value.
Just have fun, thank her and keep seeing her since it seems you both get along so well. Don't try to minimize or outdo her gift, or try to "equalize" things with money.
Just show her that amazing time.
Buy her a gift when you feel you'd like to, as an initiative - not as a response to her gift
I think you are likely right. Quite insightful on your part. Her personally is such that if I try to minimize or outdo her gift as you put it, that I am quite likely to insult or piss her off, as it would kind of suggest I did not believe her offer. I think I will try to figure out some cool gift that does not go overboard.
Insult? Not likely. She's here in p4p right? Selling her goods for a price right? For a reason right? Unless you think she's here for the helluva it. Which i highly doubt anyone would enter this world for shits and giggles alone.
Keep it in good context or you will lose her. I would bank on it. But do what you feel of course.
Taking advice from a John is the complete opposite of taking advice from a lady here.
Gxo
She is here for a reason...correct? She clearly is a woman with a heart...yes?
I will tell you for some here, as a woman accepting money as a "companion" at times can be difficult when it reaches a certain point. Any woman with a heart knows what I mean here. It can be a difficult weird place, for some.
I will tell you for some gentlemen here, the idea of relinquishing money for "companionship" at times can be a hard thing to grasp for him. Its an ego pride thing.
The ONLY Solution....
Because you meet in p4p there is only one solution. No matter what she says "outloud" (for her) or what your donation is actually "for" (for him) .... an exchange of money must always be in place. How you "define" that exchange is where you can make it a better feel good situation for both parties involved. Since you're not the one with the issue in the giving but she is in receiving, then its up to you to step up to the plate here. Insist on it. In which ever way you find fit. You know her. We dont. But the moral of the story is the same.
It is up to the guy to ALWAYS leave a lady here something in the form of a donation. It may not be defined as a donation for "companionship" but there should always be a form of donation defined as something one way or another. Be creative.
Trust me. The gesture will go a ridiculously long way. And she will appreciate it beyond words.
Giving is always better than receiving in any world. Those who take here should not say a damn word.
Good Luck! Let me know how it goes. I bet I'm right 
Ggxo
-- Modified on 3/5/2016 6:22:52 AM
Appreciate a provider chiming in. Quick question re your advice. Did my post come across in a way that it sounded like there would be no money involved? Because if so, I left the wrong impression. The date includes dinner plus private time. Her and I have a baseline understanding - I am paying for that private time at the same rate I always pay. Where I was surprised was her telling me that for the dinner component, she did not want any more money. So is your advice to pay (full rate or otherwise) for the dinner component too, no matter what she says?
I 100% agree with you, that she gets paid every single time we meet, no matter how great we get along. I can see all kinds of awkward and bad things happening if I ever took a date without paying. Paying her makes this whole arrangement comfortable for me, and stops all kind of second guessing about intent. So even if I fly her to somewhere like Bali or something and she is so thrilled that she wants to come for free, I would pay her. I never want some form of doubt creeping into her head that I am exploiting her generosity.
To reiterate, at the core this is a client/provider relationship. It will always be that way for me. I have felt for a while that I would be interested in layering a friendship-style component on top if she was willing. I guess that is what her and I are starting to explore now.
but (not surprisingly) I disagree with her and by extension with you.
Just what is so wrong with graciously accepting an offer of a "non compensated" date from a hooker. Not saying this is what is going on here, but just what's wrong with it when it happens?
I've had this happen to me, not often, but since I've been doing this a LONG time, it's certainly happened more than once where a woman has told me flat out "I don't want your money anymore, I want to be your girl friend" and I will confess it's a pretty good feeling, but if you want to keep it "professional" that's your prerogative, just don't be guilty of painting with that same broad brush as GG and mean that we should all act that way.
As for the "paid for" sex and OTC in public time, this is hardly anything rare, your lady is a grown ass woman, more than capable of making her own decision and if she said this is the way it's "always going to be" why the angst? Is it that hard to accept that maybe she likes your company and is trying to tell you so. I have had this kind of arrangement with dozens of different providers, that sometimes have gone on like this for years. I pay for an hour or so of sex, and then we go out for drinks, dinner, the movies or what ever as "friends"
One piece of advice to ensure she never regrets making this offer to you, When she is "On the Clock" she is expected to be "ON" playing kissy face, rubbing your leg or whatever, When you are "Off the Clock" don't expect any of that to be a given, You are NOT paying her so don't "expect" her to suck face with you over dinner. Let anything physical that happens when you are out in public to be at her initiative, not yours. Not all women are alike in this respect, some will treat even the unpaid portion of your time together as still being a "date" others don't want to be "pawed" without getting paid for it. As long as you can read body language, she should make it obvious very quickly which camp she falls into.
Not reading your post either. He's a grown man. I'm sure he can figure out what will work fine for him in this regard.
The point is to educate from the "other" side. I'm sorry but even with "all" the hookers you apparently know, surely you don't know how they "all" truly feel when it comes this.
No. Not even you Gambler.
Just what is so wrong with graciously accepting an offer of a "non compensated" date from a hooker. Not saying this is what is going on here, but just what's wrong with it when it happens?
I've had this happen to me, not often, but since I've been doing this a LONG time, it's certainly happened more than once where a woman has told me flat out "I don't want your money anymore, I want to be your girl friend" and I will confess it's a pretty good feeling, but if you want to keep it "professional" that's your prerogative, just don't be guilty of painting with that same broad brush as GG and mean that we should all act that way.
As for the "paid for" sex and OTC in public time, this is hardly anything rare, your lady is a grown ass woman, more than capable of making her own decision and if she said this is the way it's "always going to be" why the angst? Is it that hard to accept that maybe she likes your company and is trying to tell you so. I have had this kind of arrangement with dozens of different providers, that sometimes have gone on like this for years. I pay for an hour or so of sex, and then we go out for drinks, dinner, the movies or what ever as "friends"
One piece of advice to ensure she never regrets making this offer to you, When she is "On the Clock" she is expected to be "ON" playing kissy face, rubbing your leg or whatever, When you are "Off the Clock" don't expect any of that to be a given, You are NOT paying her so don't "expect" her to suck face with you over dinner. Let anything physical that happens when you are out in public to be at her initiative, not yours. Not all women are alike in this respect, some will treat even the unpaid portion of your time together as still being a "date" others don't want to be "pawed" without getting paid for it. As long as you can read body language, she should make it obvious very quickly which camp she falls into.
That's what I was thinking!!!!
I have a question: What's up with the "prostitutes" and the "hooker"
Word!?
What's really going on with these people?
Where is that coming from?
The point is to educate from the "other" side. I'm sorry but even with "all" the hookers you apparently know, surely you don't know how they "all" truly feel when it comes this.
No. Not even you Gambler.
Just what is so wrong with graciously accepting an offer of a "non compensated" date from a hooker. Not saying this is what is going on here, but just what's wrong with it when it happens?
I've had this happen to me, not often, but since I've been doing this a LONG time, it's certainly happened more than once where a woman has told me flat out "I don't want your money anymore, I want to be your girl friend" and I will confess it's a pretty good feeling, but if you want to keep it "professional" that's your prerogative, just don't be guilty of painting with that same broad brush as GG and mean that we should all act that way.
As for the "paid for" sex and OTC in public time, this is hardly anything rare, your lady is a grown ass woman, more than capable of making her own decision and if she said this is the way it's "always going to be" why the angst? Is it that hard to accept that maybe she likes your company and is trying to tell you so. I have had this kind of arrangement with dozens of different providers, that sometimes have gone on like this for years. I pay for an hour or so of sex, and then we go out for drinks, dinner, the movies or what ever as "friends"
One piece of advice to ensure she never regrets making this offer to you, When she is "On the Clock" she is expected to be "ON" playing kissy face, rubbing your leg or whatever, When you are "Off the Clock" don't expect any of that to be a given, You are NOT paying her so don't "expect" her to suck face with you over dinner. Let anything physical that happens when you are out in public to be at her initiative, not yours. Not all women are alike in this respect, some will treat even the unpaid portion of your time together as still being a "date" others don't want to be "pawed" without getting paid for it. As long as you can read body language, she should make it obvious very quickly which camp she falls into.
do yourself a favor and don't even go there lol. Just let it roll off the back, truly. It's just a word, I used to fight it when I first came on here at "that" word, but it is just that, a word. Don't let it bother you girl.
G xo
Hey - you have been down this path many times with many different outcomes. First time for me, and not trying to extend how I handle this to any form of generalized rule. Kind of feeling my way around. You are right, about me wanting to keep a professional boundary. I am not looking for, nor do I want a girlfriend. But the idea that I can have this hybrid of a friend and provider, in defined time slots when it works for both of us is really appealing.
If this dinner stuff works out, I am likely going to try some extended time together where I bolt on some time with her to a business trip. Small doses to start. Then when we are done, we go our separate ways, which is totally perfect for me. If it works, I can see this going on for years, as has happened for you, since this lady is so together and such a blast to be around. Also, not trying to claim that anything going on here is somehow rare or special in this world, just because it is the first time for me.
And I full agree with what you are saying about no groping and kissy face during the OTC time. This will be just her and I talking and joking around like friends which we are very good at, and what has led to this I guess.
Appreciate your perspective.
I just wanted to let you know this is not so unusual, nor is it a black and choice between having strictly hooker/john or BF/GF relationship. These hybrid relationships can and have worked for others before you for several years in some cases.
A word of caution if you are planning on taking her with you on travel of any sort, THAT might be pushing it where it comes to OTC time, I would try to be very aware of any signals from her that you are starting to take advantage.
If we travel together, I intend to work out a daily rate and pay her that.
FWIW if she actually does like you and you are going places that are "fun" not where she will be cooped up in a hotel room all day, you might be surprised at how reasonable her rate might be. I would suggest you leave the rate up to her and not make any "offers"
One last little word of advice on the "travel rate" if she does offer you a ridiculously low rate, which sounds entirely possible, a bit of splurging on her with some gifts, shopping etc. will most definitely go a long way to making her feel good about her decision to go with you. The fact that you are doing it because you "want to" not because you "have to" will almost certainly not go unnoticed either.
I travel with someone all the time and do as I please when and where I want lol.
I'm not in chains for christ's sake lol. GEEEZZZZZ LOL
Come one now. Too too funny
G xo
and sometimes I think you should be in chains, for your own good.lol
And no thanks. I thought I told you marriage wasn't for me.
That last line was funny.
And spot on and get exactly what I'm talking about. That's awesome. Maybe you should gives lessons to some men here who just don't.
So terrific. I wish you both a great time here. Truly. Thank you for sharing.
G
I 100% agree with you, that she gets paid every single time we meet, no matter how great we get along. I can see all kinds of awkward and bad things happening if I ever took a date without paying. Paying her makes this whole arrangement comfortable for me, and stops all kind of second guessing about intent. So even if I fly her to somewhere like Bali or something and she is so thrilled that she wants to come for free, I would pay her. I never want some form of doubt creeping into her head that I am exploiting her generosity.
To reiterate, at the core this is a client/provider relationship. It will always be that way for me. I have felt for a while that I would be interested in layering a friendship-style component on top if she was willing. I guess that is what her and I are starting to explore now.
Take it from what it's worth...
She enjoys your company. Good for both of you.
Maybe after playing she got hungry.
No big deal.
Best of luck on this one.
-- Modified on 3/5/2016 6:17:02 AM
She enjoys your company. Good for both of you.
Maybe after playing she got hungry.
No big deal.
Best of luck on this one.
-- Modified on 3/5/2016 6:17:02 AM
She may become an acquaintance but no more so than a mechanic or contractor who gives extra time because you are a regular customer.
Hookers and Johns do become more than acquaintances, I have a LOT of hooker friends that I never spend a dime on, we are just buddies. Some of them I have slept with in the past, some I have sex with now, and others I have never had sex with, nor do I ever intend to.
What is so hard to believe that two people can simply become friends regardless of how they met? At least BBFS is trolling to get a rise out of the stupid people, I think you truly believe the crap you spew.
Cynicism can be healthy if not taken too far, you have most definitely taken it too far. Just because deep down you really don't like or respect hookers as people, don't try to pollute the opinions of the rest of us.
You are a man who has a NEED to brag about your hooker friends. Hookers are not the focal point of my life.
If I meet a girl as a hooker I have NO desire to take it beyond acquaintance level. Most hookers feel the same way about tricks.
I respect hookers the same way I respect my mechanics or contractors. I think they are nice people but they are acquaintances not personal friends.
You do seem to have this superior attitude that some people are below you and not worthy of your friendship, it must really suck to be you. No surpirse your wife won't fuck you any more. I wonder how many "friends" she has?
Rather than debate you are turning this into a personal attack. Friends don't charge friends for favors that can be done for free. Example: If you are close personal friends with an auto mechanic as I once was he charges for the parts but not labor. A girl who is your friend would be a fuck buddy. You might pay for dinner or a hotel room but you don't pay for sex.
It's not a matter of anybody being beneath me. If I do business with a CEO he is an acquaintance not a friend